Page 16 of Lair

“Why don’t you join them? In the water.”

He takes in the pool lapping about him, shining with light. He lifts his face. “I prefer the water at night...”

I follow his gaze. In the opening above, there’s a rectangle of night. The galaxy hangs in a vast twinkling aura up there, startlingly clear. I’d prefer that, too.

I can’t do anything about it. It rises up, a swish of tender hilarity, getting the better of all my doubts and fears: I laugh. Voper jerks his head at me, and I lift a hand. “I’m sorry. It’s just... it’s funny. That you’d own a yacht and not like the sun. They... usually go together.”

He stills and says, teeth gritted, “Do I look like somebody who’d enjoy the sun?” Almost, but not quite, a snarl.

I don’t know any better, I go on. Look at me now, Mrs. Colding.

For it’s hit me. A cool wash of sympathy, spreading through my bones.

The shock of it, to know. To know that a man can have everything, and not be happy.

“You look like you want to be seen,” I say at last.

He jerks, that cool, bare face slackening, and turns away, lips instinctively snarling back from white teeth. He makes a sound. What have I done? Then he stands in the pool, wades toward me—I take an involuntary step back—and placing both hands on the edge of the pool, massive muscles cording on his arms, he hauls himself dripping out of the water.

When he straightens he towers over me, huge and lean and deathly pale. I could never tell what kind of body he had under those suits, but it’s blindingly clear now. Water channels down between stacked muscles, sheening over puffed-up biceps and a lower abdomen ridged with masculine veins angling toward the groin and into black shorts. Those muscles tell you they were earned. They tell you they can kill.

I take another step back, and Voper leans in toward me, blue eyes hazing black. “I think it’s best you go now,” he says.

Oh.

How foolish. How very foolish I’d been, after all. To think I could make him change how he thought of me.

I turn and grope away up the stairs, leaving him standing there panting and hands fisted by the pool with its dancing reflections of light.

“Hold up, hold up, hold up,” Cailee says as I pace back and forth at the bow, cell to ear. Beyond, the lights of Ajaccio twinkle in the dark. “Why are you so hung up on what he thinks of you?”

“What?” I say, flinging up a hand. “What do you mean? He’s the owner! Of course I have to care about what he thinks of me!”

Cailee sighs. “You do know this is, like, your thing, right?”

I stop pacing. “My thing?”

“This is what you did with Josh. You were too worried about what he thought of you to have any confidence in yourself.”

I stand there, bottom lip pouting, feeling the beginnings of resentment forming. “That was harsh.”

“I’m sorry. But you know it’s true. You were always trying to please him.”

I put a hand to my brow, suddenly unsteady on my feet as I think of old compromises, backpedaling, accepting slights and gaslighting and fists in order to be in his eyes what I already knew myself to be.

The smothering, tortured patterns of old ways, laid bare before me.

I pinch the bridge of my nose, telling myself Cailee can’t know there are tears in my eyes.

But I know she knows, all the same.

Her voice is very gentle when she continues. “Arie. Babe. I just—I feel a little responsible here. I mean, I was the one who dragged you into this, and...” I can practically hear her slap her forehead from here. “I wasn’t thinking about it, but this is gonna be a huge test for you. Like, the whole yachting industry is about pleasing people. I can’t believe I didn’t see it before.” She makes an angry noise in her throat. “You’re gonna have to be careful. This Voper guy—you don’t wanna repeat what you went through with Josh, do you?”

I look down, feeling an unaccountable flush creeping up my neck. “It’s not like we’re together or anything—”

“I know. Just don’t get all wrapped up in what he thinks of you, okay? You’re trying to get away from all that. Let it go. Be yourself. Go mate with that hunky first mate.”

I snort laughter and nod, wiping at my eyes. “Okay.” And I feel a calmness settle in my shoulders, a strength come back into my spine. I lift my chin. “Okay.”

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