Page 38 of Rain of Shadows and Endings

“She was not made for this, and you know it,” Luka retorted. “We could see that from the information in her file. Why do you think we told you to choose someone else?”

“You think she is not strong enough to endure this?”

“The exact opposite,” Luka disagreed. “She has already shown she is more than strong enough to endure this. Her kind of strength is not the strength you need to succeed with your current plan. Her kind of strength will alter everything. We need to alter the plans to accommodate her, Theon. Not the other way around.”

“We have already discussed this,” Theon snapped, his voice rising. “The plan is not going to be changed now. It is too late.”

Luka pressed his tongue to his cheek, his gaze flicking back to the female in Theon’s lap. He finally pushed off the wall and said, “I’m going to get her some water,” before leaving the room.

For the next few hours, Tessa vomited off and on, just like the night before. She didn’t speak a word to him or Luka. She just reverted to closing her eyes and waiting in resignation while she lay on the floor. Luka had pulled the seat out from in front of the make-up vanity, lost in his own thoughts. Theon had maneuvered against the wall so he could sit against it, his head tipped back and his eyes closed. He was absent-mindedly stroking her hair, wondering how much longer this was going to go on, when she spoke.

“Theon?”

His head snapped up at her hoarse voice. Luka looked up too, both of them zeroing in on her. “Yeah, beautiful?”

“What did your father mean when he said you could loan me out?”

Her eyes were still closed, her hands clenched tightly around a blanket they had draped over her. But that was what she was contemplating in between bouts of hurling her guts up?

“That is something you never need to worry about, Tessa, because it will never happen,” Theon finally answered, glancing at Luka. His lips had thinned because he knew the lengths his father would go to in order to get results just as well as Theon did.

“But what did he mean? He said I would have ended up one anyway if you hadn’t chosen me as a Source,” she pushed.

“We can’t know which kingdom you would have been assigned to, Tessa. They assess that as you proceed through the Selection tasks. He was simply speculating. I do not want you to worry or think about it, all right?”

She was quiet for a long time. So long that Theon thought she had retreated back into herself, but then her voice came again, barely a whisper. “I just keep thinking that it couldn’t have been worse than this. That I would have chosen just about anything over this.”

Theon met Luka’s gaze, finding it already pinned on him. He shook his head, silent communication passing between them. Now wasn’t the time to tell her that being sent to serve in the Achaz Kingdom under the Sirana bloodline would have been much worse than what she was enduring right now.

“I want to go to my bed,” she whispered a few minutes later.

“Okay. Let’s just wait a little longer in case you get sick again.”

She didn’t reply, so Theon took it as acceptance, leaning his head back against the wall once more and closing his eyes.

This was worth it.

Putting her through this was necessary and would be worth it in the end.

8

TESSA

She slept for three days straight. When she managed to open her eyes, Theon was always beside her.

The first time he’d been sleeping, his body curled lightly around her own. Despite the ache in her bones, there was a calm that enveloped her at having him so close. While she slept nestled next to him, the bond rested in contentment too. No incessant pull or temptation. Her eyes had fallen on Luka, who’d apparently been tasked with keeping an eye on her while Theon slept. He’d asked if she’d needed anything, and Tessa had only shaken her head before she drifted off to sleep once more.

Another time, it was midday judging by the light streaming in through the balcony doors. Theon had been propped against the headboard looking over stacks of papers while referencing things on his laptop. His hand resting on her shoulder, his thumb had made small circles along her collarbone. He had immediately set everything aside when he saw her open eyes. He’d offered to bring her food or water, but she had fallen back to sleep again within minutes.

This time though, she could already tell it was different. There would be no going back to sleep. She needed to use the bathroom, and she could smell herself. She needed to get up and move around. A shower and fresh clothing sounded divine. But more than any of that, the cord inside her was back to tugging at her, pulling her awake.

She cracked her eyes open. Light filtered into the bedroom, telling her it was sometime during the day. Luka wasn’t in the chair by the fireplace, and the bed felt suspiciously empty. She rolled over to find the space Theon had occupied every other time she’d woken vacant. Pushing herself into a sitting position, she slid a hand through her limp hair. It felt greasy and gross. Her tongue felt thick and tasted of bile. She could only imagine what her breath smelled like.

She was about to go in search of a glass of water when Theon came through the doorway. He paused when he saw her sitting up, clearly surprised, before hurrying to the bedside.

“Tessa, how are you feeling?” he asked, reaching out and tipping her chin up to study her face.

“Water,” she rasped.

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