Page 204 of Rain of Shadows and Endings

He’d spent as little time as possible with her the last two days, mainly because he knew he wouldn’t be able to control himself around her. After he’d made sure she was all right, he’d left Axel with her while she’d showered. He’d met up with Luka to make sure the Night Children were taken care of. Luka had already found the other two, and they’d spent the rest of the night cleaning up the mess of it all and trying to figure out who had sent them after Tessa.

It could be anyone, really. A Lord or Lady. One of the fuckers in this room looking to move up in social status. It could simply be someone with a vendetta against Arius Kingdom. The gods knew there were plenty of people with those.

But he’d been drained. Between using his magic to find her, defend her, and then basically fuck her, he hadn’t experienced power levels that low in a long time, and he’d been four days away from his allotted ration of Fae blood. Luka had all but forced him into taking blood from Tessa because he was starting to draw power from him. That’s how the Guardian Bond worked. When Theon ran out of his own magic, he began drawing from Luka. It wasn’t ideal to have either of them low on power for any amount of time, even if Axel was here with them. Luka had given him until mid-day to take blood from Tessa, or he was going to do it himself.

But gods, Tessa’s blood? That was the most divine Fae blood he’d ever tasted. He’d never noticed a difference in the blood he was given weekly. Fae blood was Fae blood, but not this time. This had made his entire being feel chaotic and out of control. It had to be because of their Source Bond. Or maybe it was because she was going to be so powerful once her gifts emerged? A combination of the two? He didn’t know, but it had taken every bit of his self-control not to take more.

Just like it’d taken every bit of his self-control not to follow her into the shower to take more when he’d made her come with his shadows.

Axel cleared his throat. “Did you learn any more about her time at the estate?”

“No,” Theon answered shortly.

That was a lie. After her refusal to explain her history with her Estate Mother, Theon had gone to speak with Cordelia himself. He just hadn’t decided what he wanted to do with the information yet, mostly because he was too close to losing control right now. Too many things were spiraling, leaving him riding a dangerous edge. Anger at Tessa for leaving the Acropolis. Anger at those godsdamn Night Children for trying to take her. Anger at whoever had sent them after her. Anger at the Estate Mother for hurting her. Anger that he was in this situation to begin with.

But mostly he was furious with himself.

For failing to keep her safe yet again.

For failing to figure out who wanted her.

For failing to control his Source.

For failing at all.

He failed at something he didn’t know a person could fail at. That had to be the epitome of failure. To fail at something that was impossible to fail at.

So he’d let Axel and Luka deal with her the last few days because it was the only way to protect her from himself.

He’d tried to stop himself from watching her all night. They’d agreed Luka would be the one to handle her at this social, but he found himself looking for her yet again. The last time he’d seen her, she’d been sitting with the other Sources. He wasn’t blind. They clearly hadn’t accepted her as one of them, likely because of whose Source she was. She didn’t fit in with them. She couldn’t fit in with the other Fae. She only had him, Luka, and Axel, and she couldn’t even be with them tonight. Not that she’d want to be. She was still pissed at all of them.

No, pissed wasn’t the right word.

She had become…apathetic. As though she suddenly didn’t care about anything, resigned to simply accept whatever was required of her and being done to her. He started at the sudden realization. She’d been different since the night in the rain on the balcony when she’d told him he’d already won. He’d told himself it was her slowly giving into the bond. That he hadn’t completely failed. That it was because she hadn’t been adequately prepared for her role. Any excuse to justify why this had gone so horribly fucking wrong.

But this was worse. Her not caring was worse than her hating this, and how the fuck did that work?

And where the fuck was she?

“I have some things to tell you.”

Theon looked over to find Luka sliding into the chair next to him.

“It better be where Tessa is,” Theon snapped.

He saw the look exchanged between Axel and Luka and downed the rest of his drink when Axel said, “This isn’t fucking working. Something has to change.”

Luka raked a hand through his hair, and it made Theon pause. He was agitated, and Luka rarely showed any emotion. Theon braced himself when he said, “What do you need to tell me?”

“I already told him he needs to find a good fuck,” Axel offered.

“Fuck off, Axel,” Theon said, dropping his now empty glass on the low table before him. “Spit it out, Luka.”

“Axel has a point, and the first thing I have to tell you could help with that. Felicity Davers is here,” Luka said.

“How does that help with anything?”

Luka shrugged. “You could find out if you’re compatible.”

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