Page 203 of Rain of Shadows and Endings

“Debatable.”

“Debatable?” she repeated. “Nothing about that is debatable. It’s none of your business.”

“So that’s a no,” he said.

“I didn’t say that.”

“You don’t have to,” Tristyn said with a slight shrug. “But that aside, I want you to know you are strong enough for this, Tessa.”

She couldn’t speak around the sudden lump in her throat as she swallowed back the tears threatening to well. “You still don’t know me,” she whispered.

“If you knew—” A frustrated sound rumbled from him when he cut himself off.

“If I knew what?” she pressed.

“If you only knew what I knew,” he said, something Tessa could only describe as a mixture of longing and pain sounding in his voice. “It’s something you can’t learn until you’re forced to walk through it, but you’d know that strength grows in the moments you think you can’t go on, but you do anyway. Strength is fighting back. Strength is doing whatever it takes to claim what is yours, even if others try to convince you it is not yours to take.”

“What if I’m not? What if I’m not strong enough for any of that?”

“You are, Tessa. If you are weak enough to fall, you are strong enough to rise back up. Weakness and strength come from the same place, and both are necessary. Both provide purpose, and both can lead to destruction or salvation. You just need to embrace a little chaos,” Tristyn said, a fierceness filling his features. “And when you come out on the other side of this, the Heir of the Arius Kingdom won’t be the nightmare. You will be.”

36

THEON

“Gods, you’re pissy,” Axel mused.

Theon could feel his gaze on him, and he resisted the urge to flip him off. Tonight was about appearances and making connections. He’d been drawing lines among the other heirs for two days, and now it was time to move beyond them. Alliances needed to be formed within the other kingdoms, not just with the ruling families. None of the plans would work if there weren’t established relations on the inside, but more than any of that, they needed to make it known that Arius Kingdom would no longer be pacified staying in their corner of the realm.

When Theon remained silent, Axel continued, “I know things aren’t ideal with Tessa right now, but for the love of Arius, go find someone to fuck, Theon,” Axel added, taking another drink.

“I don’t want to find someone to fuck,” Theon bit out.

“You need a good fuck,” Axel said pointedly. “Let off some steam. Clear your head so you stop biting off everyone else’s. You’re not making any relations being a constant dick.”

That was easy for him to say. He’d been chatting with the same dark-haired female all night and didn’t have a godsdamn bond interfering. Theon had tried to be somewhat pleasant tonight, but Axel was right. He was pissy, and it had everything to do with the Fae he wanted to fuck but couldn’t.

Or rather wouldn’t.

Because he certainly could force her. He was willing to cross a lot of lines. Fuck, he had done a lot of unforgivable things. Killed people. Set others up to take the fall for his actions. Fucked people over to gain information. None of it kept him up at night. Necessary actions to get what he wanted.

But this? He couldn’t do it. Because for some fucked up reason, he thought this was the one thing keeping him from turning into his father completely.

“A good fuck would get you out of your head for a while,” Axel mused knowingly, the teasing gone from his tone. If anyone would understand being in your own head, it was his brother.

“You think I don’t want to?” Theon retorted, signaling to a passing Fae for another drink. “This fucking bond won’t let me want anyone else right now. The gods know I’ve fucking tried.”

Axel arched a brow. “Are you serious?”

“Yes,” Theon grumbled. “Meanwhile, Tessa can tell me all about how she would rather fuck a mortal or her own godsdamn hand instead of me, and I’m left jacking myself in the shower.”

Axel huffed a laugh but quickly covered it with a cough at the glare Theon threw at him. “But you said the other night—”

“The other night was about keeping her from going over an edge,” Theon said, taking the drink off the tray the Fae was holding out to him. “She was spiraling. From the things I have managed to learn about her, I could piece together that it was probably similar to what happened after an assessment.”

“When she would go off the estate to find mortals,” Axel said in realization.

Theon nodded. He hadn’t told them much of that night, only that she’d finally let him help her. But he’d wanted to keep that night for himself because it might be the only thing she ever let him have, and if it was, he didn’t want to share it with anyone.

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