Page 149 of Rain of Shadows and Endings

She reached behind her, gripping the railing in clear refusal.

“Fine,” Theon snapped, a hand carving through his dripping hair and pushing it out of his face. “You want to know what I know? You want to know why I Selected you? You were one of five options. I did not go to the Estates like the other heirs, but I was still watching all of you from afar. The Arius Kingdom has people everywhere. I had people reporting to me. I wanted someone clever, and I don’t mean book smarts. I mean cunning. I wanted someone who wasn’t afraid of bending the rules. I desired the fire element, but Anala Kingdom refused all offers, so I was willing to settle for another element if they were likely to be powerful. I did not want a meek, timid Source. Obedient, yes, but not someone who would cower. I was not lying earlier today when I said I want others to fear what my Source and I will become.

“I had it narrowed down to three females and two males. I sought you all out before the Opening Selection Ceremony. I actually couldn’t find you. Because you, Tessalyn Ausra, you are clever and cunning and have so many secrets.” Tessa sucked in a breath as he moved even closer. “I was going to pick someone else because I couldn’t fucking find you. Not until I happened upon you, completely by chance, in an alcove with stolen chocolate. You did not appear to fear me, not completely anyway judging by the way you waved that chocolate in my face, but you also did not lie to me when I warned you not to.” Tessa swallowed thickly. “And I knew. I knew in that moment that I would pick you. Because your marks were high in every lesson you completed. You like to break the rules, but you know how to do so without getting caught. And these secrets…” He reached out, fingering a wet lock of hair.

“I don’t have secrets,” she whispered, the rain having lessened to a steady drizzle. “You know my secrets, not me.”

“Don’t start lying to me now, Tessa,” he said sensually, his face angling down towards her.

“I’m not.”

His mouth came closer. “Are you sure about that?”

“Yes,” she breathed, knowing if he tried to kiss her, she would let him. Wanted him to.

“There is one secret in particular I don’t know,” he said, his breath dancing over her lips.

And tonight, if he asked, she’d let him have that secret too. She’d let him take what he wanted. Because for one night, she needed an escape from all of this. She wanted to drown in pleasure, letting it overpower the pain and loneliness and—

“How do you get past the wards?”

“What?” Tessa blurted, blinking hard, sure she couldn’t have heard him properly.

“You have some very unique skills, Tessa.”

“I have… That’s why you chose me?”

“It was not the only reason. I told you some of the various factors that played into my decision.”

“Some of the various factors,” she said softly. Then she was stepping around him. She moved to the middle of the balcony before spinning back to face him again. “So I simply checked the most boxes on your checklist?”

“No. I mean—” Theon pushed out a harsh breath. “Why does any of this matter? What is it going to change? It is done. You were Selected. We need to figure out how to move forward with this together, Tessa.”

“It matters because very few want me, Theon!” she cried. “They want what I can give them, what I have to offer, but never me. And you have just told me you are no different. So I am trying to figure out what exactly it is you want from me—”

“Everything, Tessa,” Theon snarled, moving so quickly, Tessa didn’t register he’d even moved until he was before her once more, his hand loosely gripping her throat. “I want everything you have to give, and then I want more. I want every piece of you— every secret, every tempest raging in those stormy eyes. I want all your fear and all your pain, all your smiles and all your laughter. I want all your mornings and all your nights, all your days and months and years.”

“You can’t have them,” she sneered.

“I can have them,” he countered. “I will have them. Even if it takes our entire lifetime together, you will give them to me. Each and every piece. You can hate me for it, but it won’t change it.”

“You will take everything from me?” she asked, her voice barely audible.

“I will. I want it all.”

“And what will you do when there is nothing left, Theon?” She heard him suck in a sharp breath. “What will you do when you have taken everything and left me with nothing?”

His eyes darted over her shoulder, and she glanced back to see Axel and Luka standing in the doorway. One look at their faces told her they’d been watching everything play out and had heard every single thing that had been said between them.

She turned back to Theon. “What were my results today?”

He opened his mouth, then closed it again.

She huffed a laugh of disbelief. “The joke’s on you, Theon. I have nothing left to give. What little I had, you already took. Congratulations. You already won.”

His hand slipped from her neck, and she took a step back from him. “As for the wards, I don’t know how I do that. I didn’t even know I was doing anything out of the ordinary until I was punished for it by the Estate Mother when I was five years. It is something kept hidden because she enjoyed handing out consequences for inappropriate behavior. Something you and her seem to have in common. But I should have known that is what you desired from the beginning. It is all anyone ever wants from me. All that I am useful for. The only reason anyone bothers with me.”

She turned then, Luka and Axel stepping to the side when she neared so she could enter the bedroom. She went straight to the bathroom, peeling off the sopping wet dress. Stepping into the shower, she turned the water so hot she could hardly stand it. Then she sank to the floor and pulled the pins from her hair while the water beat down on her, wishing it could wash away the emptiness of her soul. But all she was left with were her thoughts, swirling in her mind like the water down the drain.

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