Page 102 of Adrift

My stomach turns and I feel like I’m back inside the hospital delivery room with Sonia’s body lying next to me. My eyes skate over her cold skin and expressionless face, and I question everything I thought I knew about us.

Did she really do what that piece of shit claimed? Did she really cheat on me with Ryan? Did she really hide the fact that he was Arman’s father? Was she so miserable with our life together that she would hurt me so callously?

No.

No way.

We were working on it. We were taking the right steps to improve our marriage–therapy, communication . . . sex. We’d had sex before she told me she was pregnant with Arman. I know we did. It was part of the intimacy conversations our therapist made us discuss, and we worked on making our sex life a priority. Didn’t we? I know I did.

But was she also fucking Ryan?

Bile rises up through my stomach, and I suck in a lungful of air to tamp it down.

I’m just scrolling through my contacts list on my phone when my office door opens and Rani hurries in, holding an ice pack. She’s been by my side since the minute we came back in.

“Here.” She kneels in front of me, reminding me a lot of the first time we met in this office when she offered to help take care of Arman. Pulling my hand toward her, she places the ice pack on my knuckles. “Your hand is swollen.”

I throw my phone on the desk and lay my head back, pinching the bridge of my nose with my other hand. I can’t believe this day. I can’t believe my life.

“Darian?” Rani squeezes the hand she’s icing. “Will you look at me? Please?”

I swallow, feeling my eyes prick–something they haven’t done since the day I cremated Sonia, but my tears aren’t for her this time. If what Ryan said is true, they’ll never be for her again.

I lean forward as a tear slips from the corner of my eye, and Rani catches me inside her arms. She cups the back of my head on her shoulder and I let out a sob. I don’t know what I’d do without her right now. She’s been my anchor, keeping me from floating away completely. “Shh, baby.” Her hand runs up the back of my head and through my hair. “It’s going to be okay. I know it is. We’re going to figure this out together.”

“He’s mine, Rani,” I sob again. “I know he’s my son.”

I feel her resolve crack inside my arms and her chest shakes. “He’s yours, baby. He’s always been yours. Nobody can take him away from you.” She sniffles. “You’re his dad and nothing can change that.”

I lift off her and we gaze into each other’s watery eyes. I rub the tears off her cheeks. “I can’t believe she would do that to me . . .. Our marriage had issues, but I never thought she’d betray me like that.”

Rani’s face falls and she nods, her eyes fixed on the ground. A crease forms between her brows, like she’s struggling to suppress an ache. “Darian, I need to tell you–”

A knock on the door interrupts her, and we both look up to see Garrett and Dean peek their heads inside.

“Hey, man. We just heard about what happened from Olivia.” Dean’s face looks more stoic than I’ve ever seen. His blue eyes have a chill inside them that I’ve only witnessed a couple of times before, and I’ve always wished I’d never see it again. “I would have done a lot more than just broke the motherfucker’s nose.”

I swallow again. My throat feels like a nest of red ants have made a home inside it. “He’ll press charges, I’m sure.”

“Let him,” Garrett chimes in with a shrug. “Fuck that asshole. We’ll worry about all that when it happens. We just came to see how you were handling everything.”

Rani’s hands squeeze mine again. She’s still in the same spot in front of me. I squeeze hers back and shake my head, looking at the picture of Arman on my desk. I’d already removed Sonia’s pictures from my office and my bedroom since Rani and I became more. “I can’t fucking believe I missed the signs of her cheating.”

“You don’t know if she was for sure.” Dean steps inside, giving Garrett more room behind him. “That asshole could be lying.”

“I can’t believe what an shitbag Ryan turned out to be,” Garrett laments. “I always just thought he was loud and annoying, but I never thought he’d turn out to be such a dick. And Dean’s right; you never know, he could totally be lying to get under your skin.”

“Or maybe he isn't.”

All three of us–my brothers and I–turn to look at Rani. She gets up, standing in front of me with her face downturned, a frown pulling her lips. She slowly lifts her eyes to meet mine and a shudder ghosts down my spine with what I find in them.

“What do you mean, maybe he isn’t?” I ask her. My gut tightens like it’s preparing to be punched.

She regards my brothers before turning back to me, her face a little paler than earlier. “A couple of months before Sonia died, she sent me a text . . . but it wasn’t meant for me.” Rani pulls out her phone and scrolls through her messages while we wait.

My breaths feel heavy inside my lungs, but I reach out to grab her phone when she juts it in my direction. I ignore the way my hand shakes when I bring the phone to me. I read Sonia’s text several times, but it feels like I’m reading fiction–something that happens in movies, not in real life.

I read it out loud for my brothers to hear.

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