Page 36 of Song of Night

“Because if I hated you, I could walk away. But instead, I have this constant torment inside of me, knowing you used to belong to Kieran, and knowing also that I want you to be mine forever.”

I suck in a sharp breath. Forever… “Forever is a long time to be in constant torment,” I say softly.

“It is,” he says, and he kisses me.

And I know the meaning of that same torment, because I want to be angry, to shove him away from me, but at the same time I want his heat and his breath and his skin against mine too badly. Asher kisses me soft and slow, not the desperate crush of lips in the dungeon. He kisses me until the forest turns to stars and everything spins. When my back brushes up against one of the boulders, I let out a gasp of surprise. I hadn’t even realized we were moving.

The need to have him inside me is overwhelming. It’s not just the desire to feel magic again. He’s like an elixir I can’t ever get enough of. Even when I’m furious with him, like right now, I crave him in a way I don’t crave anything else. I know it’s not going to change anything between us, but I can’t stop myself from wanting him. This burning desire from almost the instant we met, a duality of fury and passion…being able to let myself go completely, something I could never do with anyone else.

I work at the buckle of his pants, tugging it open as he peels mine down, off and over my boots, tossing them to the forest floor. Our eyes meet and lock as Asher slowly slides his enormous length into me. A low moan rises from my throat as pleasure ripples through my core and my eyelids flutter.

I wrap my legs around his hips and my arms around his neck. Asher thrusts again, one arm against the boulder, one wrapped around my back, crushing me into him. When my lashes flutter again and I close my eyes, Asher takes my chin.

“Look at me, Zara,” he says. “I want you to look at me when you come.”

The sound of his voice, deep as the roots of the earth, makes another shiver of pleasure spike through my body. I lock my gaze back onto his, and I rock my hips forward as he drives into me again. He lets out a low growl. His hips gyrate again, and this time we both moan, magic flaring between us, a spiral of violet light.

Asher picks up the pace just a little, his eyes still on mine as he slides in and out, pushing me up and down the smooth stone. Ecstasy is rippling outward from my core with every thrust, and as it does, our magic grows. I let out a sound that’s half-animal as my climax begins to break all around me.

“Wait for me, Zara,” Asher commands.

But instead of waiting, I lean down to run my lips along Asher’s neck. And then, some wild instinct driving me, I bite him. Hard. As if I’m the one who drinks blood. I bite him so hard that I can taste his blood in my mouth, warm and metallic.

Asher roars and convulses, exploding inside me. The strength of his final thrust sends me over the edge with him, and I cry out as magic and pleasure unfurl within my body. I release his neck and lock my eyes on his, those molten bronze eyes. It feels as if we’re melting into each other, like I can feel Asher’s bliss along with my own. I don’t know where I end and where he begins, the boundaries of my physical body and my magic.

Before my climax subsides, Asher lifts me off the boulder, laying me down in the soft moss on the forest floor. With another growl, he buries his face between my legs. A scream rips from my mouth as another wave of ecstasy consumes me. He is not slow and intimate like he was a moment ago. He is relentless and ravenous like a hungry wolf.

“Asher,” I moan as he grazes my thigh with his teeth.

He bites into the soft skin of my thigh right next to my sweet core. My hips buck and my back arches up as pleasure spikes through my body. Asher alternates between sucking my bite mark and licking my clit, and within moments I’m shaking as another storm builds inside of me. Magic sparks off my body like a bonfire.

When he’s had his fill of blood, he buries his face inside me again, and then I am lost.

I lay there, shaking, for several long moments. I’m pumping with so much magic that my head feels fuzzy. Asher crawls on his hands and knees to lay beside me, kissing my shoulder and the side of my neck, and finally a soft brush over my lips.

“This is the problem, Zara,” he murmurs against my skin. “You are my torment, but I can’t stay away from you. You are my weakness, my undoing.”

I go still against him. “I don’t want to make you weak.”

“It’s not your fault…it’s our fate, I suppose.”

“I know it’s not my fault.” I push up on one elbow. “You should be angry I was plotting your murder, but instead, you’re angry about my past, about things I can’t undo.”

Asher lies on the forest floor, his eyes closed, for what seems an eternity.

“Right now, we need each other,” he finally says, sitting up. He summons a pulse of magic that glows along his skin. “For this.”

His gaze moves to mine, then drops again. “But maybe, when we get back to Night and we figure everything out—if we figure everything out—maybe a bit of distance is what we need. Maybe this terrible torment will lessen over time if we’re not constantly…” he waves up and down at our naked bodies.

My throat feels tight. It takes me a moment to find words. “Is-is that what you want? To part ways after the battle is over?”

“No…and yes.” Asher shakes his head. “I think we need to at least try.”

I stand slowly, extricating myself from the tangle of his limbs. This is worse than when Asher was furious with me, when he was cold and distant. Because I know part of him wants to be with me, but he’s not willing to let go of the past. Not more than he wants a future with me.

I had known these precious minutes in the forest wouldn’t change anything, and yet his words still send cracks through my heart. He’d said I was his weakness, but he’s mine, too. And I’ve never let anything make me weak before. Not in my whole life.

He’s right. Love is a liability we can’t afford.

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