Page 24 of The Other Half

For a split second I let myself imagine a future like this. Oliver and I at the park, watching our own kid play. I know that isn’t something I should be thinking about at my age, especially considering we’ve only been dating for a few weeks, but I can’t help it. I’ve always dreamed of being a mom and a wife for as long as I can remember. I long for the feeling of being part of a family. A real family that does fun things and enjoys their time together. A family where the parents are still in love with each other when they go home. I’ve never had it, and the thought of having it with Oliver makes me heady.

I don’t think my parents see the value in moments like this. When I was little we did spend more time together than we do now, but it was never doing something as simple as playing at the park or playing a board game. My parents would find those types of activities far too trivial and boring for their tastes. If it doesn’t involve showing off in one way or another, they consider it pointless. Most of the time we spent as a family was at our beach house in Charleston, strung along the shores of Sullivan’s Island with all the other pastel colored buildings. I still look back on those memories fondly, but now that I’m older I realize it was more about showing off and making connections with the socialites of Charleston than it was about spending time with me.

I like that when I’m with Oliver, I know he isn’t showing off for anyone. Not even me. He doesn’t care what anyone thinks of him. I don’t know if that’s because he’s had to grow thick skin over the years, or because it’s just naturally his personality, but I appreciate it.

My parents would be utterly horrified if I married someone below our socioeconomic class, though. If anything, they will insist that I marry richer. They’ve already coached me on the type of guy I should be looking for when I go off to college. The ones who dress for success, are majoring in something that will ensure a high salary after graduation, and come from a family with prestige. I’ve always hated the idea of marrying someone just because of money and security. I don’t know how anyone can do it, especially now that I know what real love can feel like. I could never make that trade.

Chapter 23

Oliver

Oakley is so good with my kid brother. It’s absolutely adorable, and also kind of fucking sexy, I have to admit. I can’t help but imagine what a future would be like with her and kids of our own. I’m sure they’d be beautiful, maybe with her mossy green eyes and my auburn hair. It’s way too early to be thinking of anything like that, I know. I’ve never once in my life thought of marriage, weddings, or kids before I met her. I feel like she’s opened up a completely new side of me that I’ve never seen, one that actually wants to be better just because I want to be what she deserves. Before now, I never pictured myself getting married, and definitely not having kids.

I’m thankful for everything my parents do for us, but I’ve always felt like their lives would have been easier and probably better if I wasn’t part of the equation. And honestly, having Liam only made it harder. It makes me cringe even letting that thought cross my mind, I’d never want to imagine a life without my kid brother, but the truth is my parents can’t afford all three of us. They’ve never been able to, really, even when it was just me and Nate.

I’ve always figured I’d be single and childless because I know I’ll never have the opportunity to get out of this hellhole, and why would I want to curse another kid by giving him the same life? It just doesn’t make sense.

But now that I’ve met Oakley, I’m not so sure. What if that’s what she wants? Would I be able to tell her no? The part that scares me the most is knowing that I won’t be able to provide the type of life she has now. A man like me could never afford a house like she lives in, or even one half as nice, for that matter.

“Come swing me, Ol!” Liam yells as he runs over to the swing set.

We walk over to the swings and take turns pushing him. Then we all play tag for a while, at Liam’s request of course, until Oakley and I are both out of breath.

“You guys are slow pokes,” Liam teases.

“No, we just have longer legs than you, it’s more work.” I say, pulling a cigarette out of my pack and lighting it up.

“Don’t smoke!” Liam yells, and I chuckle as I exhale.

“Oakley, do you smoke?” Liam asks.

“Nope,” she replies, giving me a judgmental grin.

“See, I told you she’s smart. Smarter than you for smokin’.”

“You’re right, buddy.” I ruffle his copper curls.

We start walking down the narrow trail that surrounds the park, trees line one side of it and on the other side is a large, hilly meadow. Liam runs ahead of us, but not so far that I can’t see him.

“You’re good with your brother,” she says smiling, as she watches him run backwards for no apparent reason.

“He’s a good kid.”

“Do you want kids someday?” She looks over at me.

Her question catches me a little off guard. “Uh, I don’t know.” I clear my throat. “I’ve never pictured myself being the type to do the whole dad/family thing really.”

Her face suddenly looks deflated, like she wasn’t expecting that answer at all. “Why not?”

I shrug. “I just can’t see myself in that position I guess.” What I really mean is, I’ve seen how hard it is to support a family, and I know if my dad can barely pull it off I have no business even attempting it. “Do you want kids?”

She gets a dreamy look on her face and smiles, “Yeah, definitely.” Suddenly her face falls a little bit. “I wanna give my kids what my parents couldn’t give me.”

I’m a bit confused. Usually when people say that it’s because they live somewhere like I do. “Which is..?”

She lowers her voice, “Parents who love each other, mainly.”

“You don’t think they love each other?” I ask.