Page 81 of Crimson Desires

Nobody came to console me. But that was fine. I was used to handling things on my own. And even though I felt like something sharp and jagged had torn a hole in my heart, I knew I’d be able to handle this, too.

After two hours of trying unsuccessfully to fall asleep, I gave up. I plugged my earbuds into my ears, and stared out the window, trying to think of anything but Violet.

At some point, Ava sat down in the empty seat next to me. I turned to her, and she signaled for me to take out my earbuds. I obliged—gingerly pulling the wired buds out of my ears and stuffing them into my jacket pocket.

“You should be sleeping,” Ava said.

“And you shouldn’t be?” I raised my brow at her.

Ava leaned back on the chair. The orange streetlights passing by the window only illuminated her face for a moment at a time, but that moment was all I needed to see to know that Ava was just as exhausted physically as I was mentally.

Maybe even more so.

Ava turned to me. In the dim light, her brown eyes looked like black pits. “What happened at the show? One of the production crew guys told me you ran off after it was over. He said you seemed upset.”

My voice was small. “I saw my sister. I saw Violet.”

I quickly told Ava everything that had happened. From holding Violet’s hand during Wicked Crimson’s last song to turning around and meeting her eyes, to running away with my tail between my legs and hiding on the crew bus.

Ava was quiet for a moment. Then, she spoke. “I can’t say that I know exactly what happened between you and your sister. But I do know one thing: you wouldn’t feel any better right now if you had cursed her out.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Yeah. I do.”

“How?”

Ava cracked a grin. “Have you ever watched a Hallmark movie?”

I tilted my head, unsure of what Ava was trying to get at with this. “A few of them, yeah. Why?”

“So, those movies are super formulaic, right? Well, almost all those movies feature a big argument, right toward the end of the second act. In that argument, the two romantic leads finally get to give each other a piece of their minds. But the movie doesn’t end there—it doesn’t end until the leads make up and forgive each other.”

I shook my head. “Life doesn’t work like the movies do, Ava. I figured someone like you would know that.”

She swatted me lightly. “Hang on, I haven’t gotten to the point yet. Aster, I’m not trying to say that you and Violet can hug it out and have your problems disappear. I’m not even trying to say that you should do that.”

“Then what are you trying to say?”

“I’m trying to say that if yelling was really the thing that gave us catharsis, those cheesy movies would end right after the big argument. But they don’t. Because the writers know that the thing that actually brings us peace is closure.”

I laughed weakly. “I don’t know, Ava. I still think calling Violet a bitch would’ve felt pretty good.”

“You want to know what I think?”

I sighed. “No. But you’re you, so you’re going to tell me anyways, right?”

Ava grinned. “Glad you’re starting to get the hang of how things work around here. But seriously: Aster, I think you’re bitter. I think you’re stubborn and pessimistic and completely unwilling to believe that people can do nice things out of the good of their hearts.”

I winced. Ouch.

Ava continued. “But I think you had to be that way to survive. Your life hasn’t been easy. The people you’ve loved have left you. Your dream was taken away from you. And so, you became bitter to protect yourself. But you’re not alone anymore, Aster. You have us. The crew. Me. Jack. And we’re here to help you. So, just keep that in mind, okay?”

After delivering the emotional sucker punch of the century, Ava rose to her feet and casually stretched her arms above her head. She offered me one last sideways glance. “Get some sleep, Aster. And don’t worry—I’m going to sleep, too.”

I tried to say “Okay,” but my voice refused to work. So, I just moved my lips silently.

Ava headed back to her seat at the front of the bus, leaving me alone to sit with my thoughts.

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