Page 58 of Crimson Desires

Strangest of all, Jack and I were holding hands. It wasn’t like either of us had initiated it. More like, our hands had just fallen together. Our fingers had laced on their own accord. Like it was the most natural thing on Earth for them to do.

“It’s fine,” I said. “I’m not a huge fan of beaches anyways.”

“Why not?”

“All that sand,” I groaned.

“You know, I live in LA. It’s practically beach-fucking-central over there. If you lived with me, you’d have to get used to it.”

I felt my heart pick up at Jack’s words. It was almost cruel how much he teased and tantalized me with the fantasy of us having a real relationship someday. Still, with the way he talked about it, I could tell that he genuinely believed that we could be together.

Unlike me, Jack had never been forced to face with the mundane realities of life. Unlike me, he didn’t yet realize that this thing we had lacked staying power.

More than anything, I wanted to believe in the same things he did. I wanted to believe that this could work out. I wanted to believe that there was a universe in which Jack and I got our happily ever after.

Maybe that’s why, just this once, I let myself succumb to the narrative.

“If I lived in LA, I’d probably spend most of my time indoors anyways,” I said. “Doesn’t it get like, super fucking hot there?”

Jack winced. “It can get pretty warm, yeah.” He paused, looking out into the lake. “You know, when I was a kid, my mom used to take me to the beach all the time.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. We’d pick up shells together. But we never kept them. Mom always said that shells needed to stay at the beach because they’d eventually break down into sand. If everyone took shells from the beach, there’d be none left to make new sand.”

I squeezed his palm reassuringly. “She probably didn’t want you taking home a bunch of shells every time you went to the beach.”

Jack laughed. “That’s probably true. But I believed her. Anyways, this one time, we were walking on the beach together, and I took a shell. I knew that Mom didn’t have much time left. And I wanted something to remember her by. She died not long after.”

Jack swallowed hard. His Adam’s Apple bobbed in his throat.

“It was a selfish thing to do,” he continued. “But I’m glad I did it. Every time I look at that shell, I’m reminded of my mom.”

“That’s a nice story,” I said.

Jack turned to me. His blue eyes brimmed with warmth. “I’m telling it to you because I want you to know that it’s okay to be selfish sometimes. Taking care of yourself and going after the things that you want doesn’t make you a bad person.”

We retreated to a secluded area, enveloped by trees and a slight cliff. The natural terrain cut us off from the rest of the beachgoers. Dave stood several yards away from us, his back turned. His watchful eye prevented anyone else from getting too close.

Jack and I lounged on the soft sand. We listened to the gentle rhythm of the lake as it lapped up against the shoreline.

Jack’s fingers found my thigh.

“What do you want, Aster?” Jack asked. He trailed his fingers up my leg. My short dress gave him easy access to me.

Jack’s fingers felt like hot metal as he grazed my flesh. I let my eyelids flutter shut, accepting his touch eagerly.

“I want you,” I admitted, my voice strained.

Jack smiled. He kissed my neck delicately. “Good answer.”

Shamelessly, Jack went further up my dress. He slipped his fingers into my panties and roughly circled my clit.

I gasped. “Jack, we’re in public.”

“Nobody can see us,” Jack assured me. “As long as you’re quiet, nobody will know.”

Staying quiet was a task easier said than done. Jack’s fingers were deft as he played with my clit, and soon, he had me panting desperately for him to make me come. I buried my face into his chest, letting the soft fabric of his shirt muffle my moans and gasps of pleasure as he brought me to orgasm.

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