Page 48 of Best Friend's Dirty Ex

I shake my head. “Even if she hasn't earned them, feelings are valid. What you feel is absolutely acceptable.” I don't want him to think that he needs to explain himself or that he's only allowed to be upset or frustrated or feel contempt for someone if they've done something so horrific to him that there’s no other option.

He hesitates for a moment before speaking softly. “Thank you for that.”

I nod my head, taking a sip of the fruity drink before me. Thankfully, it tastes very light on the alcohol, and I feel my shoulders relax. It's nice to be able to just sit and talk to Troy like this and I realize that I'm not concerned about him lying to me, trying to hide things from me, or being dishonest.

Maybe those are things I should feel given the bet, but again, he had come clean to me when he realized that it was potentially an issue. Still, I'm not about to go down that rabbit hole that's been keeping me up at night and invading my dreams every second of the day.

“It’s nice to talk to you.” I want him to know, even given the topic of conversation, that I'm happy to be sitting here right now discussing this with him.

“Likewise, and thank you for being here.” Something in the way he says the words tells me he fully expects me to just split and abandon him. That thought jabs into my heart like a needle. I want to tell him that it isn't that I don't care about him. I absolutely do. I just need a little more time to come to terms with everything that I'm thinking and feeling before I run back into his arms. Because in all honesty, that's what I want to do, run back into his arms.

Quickly shutting down that line of thinking, I instead go back to thinking about Lyla's words, about Troy's attitude, and knowing for a fact that there is more to this whole situation than either of them have told me.

And by the time I go home for the night, one thing is for sure – I trust Troy a lot more than I should.

Chapter Twenty-four

Troy

The banging on my door has me concerned and I pull it open without seeing who's outside.

Instantly, Everly throws herself into my arms and I wind my arms around her. “Are you okay, little one?” The surge of protectiveness rising up in me has me internally promising that if someone hurt her, I'll make sure to hurt them worse.

“He's out of jail.” As she says the words, I feel my blood run cold and squeeze her tighter. I can't imagine the fear that she's going through or the pain that she's experiencing. She thought she was free of him and now she has to worry every day if he's going to show up on her doorstep again.

“He's out on parole and I have a protective order against him, but that didn't work last time. Why would it work this time?” I can hear the panic and how quickly she's speaking, and feel the trembling of her body as I hold her close.

“Stay with me. I can put you in the guest bedroom. I'll leave you alone. You'll be free to live your life, but you'll be safe.” I mean the words. I'm willing to let her live however she wants to live, no matter what that looks like, as long as I know she's safe.

She seems to deflate. “Thank you.” She barely whispers the words, but I hear them, and I squeeze her gently before letting her go. Closing and locking the door, I take her hand and lead her into the living room.

She follows me in and I sit down on the couch, gently pulling her into the spot next to me. She seems tense, stressed out and worried, and I want, more than anything, to help put her at ease. “Whatever you need, however I can help. Just tell me and we'll do it.” She doesn't have to stay here with me. We can find another way to do things. Whatever she's comfortable with, I just want her to feel safe.

“I just... I think I need...” She seems at a complete loss for words.

Before I can say anything, she leans in and presses her lips to mine. “I need to tell you that I'm not mad at you about the bet. I mean it.” She's an inch away from my face, her hand cupping my cheek as her gaze darts back and forth between my eyes. The sweet feel of her breath on my lips has me feeling almost euphoric as electric aftershocks from her kiss dance along my skin like little static discharges.

“I want you to know that I feel like I can trust you. While it hurt my feelings because I thought you were thinking that I'm easy and that you'd be able to just get me into bed with no problem and win money for it, it just really rubbed me the wrong way, but I don't think that you were looking at it that way.”

And that's where she's wrong, and I'm going to correct her because I need to be honest. “No, you were right. I thought it would be easy. I thought that you would just give in and bend to my will. Because that first day when I pulled your ponytail and you moaned, I thought I had you.”

Her expression shifts and she holds her breath for a second.

“I'm sorry that I felt that way. I'm sorry that I thought that; I know that I was wrong. It was an ugly, disgusting thing for me to say, think, and feel.”

I can feel her slightly pulling away a fraction of an inch at a time, but I have to get these words out. I need to tell her the truth.

“I doubt it matters that I say this, I just want to admit that I don't feel this way anymore. You're not easy. You are an entire, whole human being, and there's an intricacy to you and a delicacy and a strength I never expected. You're absolutely amazing. And I wish that I'd never been so shallow as to just see you as a conquest.” As the words flood out of me, I find myself feeling lighter than I have in a long time. “I also want you to know that I absolutely, completely trust you. If there's anything you want to know, I will tell you right here, right now.”

I can only hope that telling her the truth didn't shatter the moment. I know that I was absolutely a piece of shit when she met me, but I'd like to think that I've gotten better now. I'd like to think that I've grown, that I've come to understand her and myself better.

“Thank you for being honest with me. That couldn't have been easy to admit.” There are so many emotions flashing behind her eyes as she considers my words, thinks about them, and compartmentalizes them.

I let out a deep sigh and shake my head. “Honestly, I think that was the most difficult thing I've ever said before, but I'm glad that I did.”

Her voice lowers. “I’m glad you did too.” With that, she presses her lips to mine again.

“The part that bothers me the most is that I can't stay away.” She says the words against my lips and I close the distance between us, running my tongue along her lower lip.

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