When he breaks the kiss, I swear I feel an echoing break in my heart.
He presses his fingers to his lips as if to calm himself down, then speaks in a low, dark tone. “I apologize. I should know to keep my hands to myself at this point.” He sounds almost angry at himself, and I feel bad for what he must be feeling and how torn he must feel.
There aren't really any words I want to say, but there is something I want to do, so I grab his face and press my lips to his.
I know that I don't completely trust him, and I know what he did was wrong. But I do trust that he’s not a bad man, that he doesn't want to hurt me, that we’re a good match, even though he did something pretty awful.
The thing is, I don't think the bet came from a bad place. I don't think he had any intention to hurt me. Hell, I don't think he expected me to even find out about the bet. Of course, that doesn't make it right. It was still a dick move. I'm not particularly fond of the thought that he either thinks he's so smooth and charming that he'd get me into bed, or that I'm so easy it wouldn't be a challenge. But do I think he intended to hurt me? Not at all.
His arms slip around me as I deepen the kiss still holding his face in place so he can't escape me. Our tongues meet, and his hands slide down to cup my ass. He lifts me once more and I wrap my legs around his hips, clinging to him with a desperation that’s both unexpected and darkly exciting. I want him. All of him. Anything he’s willing to give.
Will I regret it later? Maybe.
But I’m not about to lie about what I feel or how much I crave him.
“You did an amazing job.” He says the words against my lips, tickling me slightly as I let go of his face and kiss his stubbly jaw. My hips are begging me to buck into him, but I don't have the leverage or the ability to do so. “You are amazing.”
My heart does a funny dance as he says the words, and I kiss his lips again. He tastes delicious, like booze, coffee, and sin in the morning.
Again, I begin to ache as he pulls back and puts me on my feet.
I know that I'm the one who put this distance between us. I'm the one that put up barriers and blockades. I'm the one that told him to control himself.
But now, all of a sudden, I wish he'd just take me.
There's a sparkle in his eyes as he speaks to me. “I mean it; it looks incredible in here. Better than I could ever have imagined.”
“Are you saying you didn't trust me to do a good job?” I plant a hand on my hip, daring him to say something to that effect, and he chuckles.
“That's not what I'm saying at all. I'm just saying that I'm pleasantly surprised that it's better than the best thing I could have imagined.” And again, as he says those words, something inside me melts and I wish he'd shut up and kiss me again already.
Chapter Twenty
Troy
“Have you tried just talking to her?” Sandra’s innocent question has me glancing in her direction. We’d all decided to meet outside Club Red, and we’re sitting around a table in one of Arson’s father’s restaurants. The guy came from an empire of fine food and dining but chose to make his way in the tech world instead.
Still, it’s a nice, reasonably quiet place to sit where we can all talk.
“Of course he has.” Thea’s gentle words and the way she touches Sandra’s hand takes any sting out of the statement before her attention turns to me. “She doesn’t hate you, she’s just not sure she can ever trust you. Trust is important in relationships.”
“You don’t say?” Blake says to her, and she rolls her eyes at him in a playful gesture that leaves me wishing for a love as easy as theirs.
On the other side of the table beside Sandra, Rico nods his head in agreement, and I notice how Sandra leans into him, an adoring smile on her face when she glances up into his face. Sitting at the table with these people so obviously deeply in love makes me wish that I had something similar or comparable, something I've never wanted before.
I've never been the kind of person who wants to fall in love and find that special someone to spend my life with. But now that I'm pretty sure I’ve found that person, I want to do everything in my power to keep her. But only if I'm the one that makes her happy. Obviously, if she wouldn't be happy with me, it's more important to me that she does whatever it takes for her to enjoy her life to the fullest.
Not that I want to think about that.
“I'm reasonably certain she turned me down because she's hot for you.” Konan downs the last of his drink and glances up at me from under heavy brows. The intensity of his stare doesn't intimidate me, but I sense no anger, malice, or ill will from him. Instead, he seems simply interested in letting me know his perspective on the situation, something I appreciate. Not many men are willing to admit when a woman doesn't prefer them over another man.
“That's the feeling I got too, when I talked to her.” Hunter seems more stoic than usual, and I wonder if he’s finally growing up.
Konan nods his head and Thea smiles at me. “I think part of the issue is that she's been through some very hard relationships and breakups. She's very picky about the people she allows in her life right now and that's not a dig at you, I’m just saying that the situation isn't exactly ideal.”
I know exactly what she’s saying. And for the millionth time, I find myself wishing I hadn't made that stupid bet with Arson. Of all the things in my life that I thought might be able to bring me down, a simple bet absolutely wasn't one of them.
“I didn't expect the fallout to be what it was, and I’m sorry for my part in things.” Arson’s apology sounds genuine, but I don’t blame him.