Page 36 of Best Friend's Dirty Ex

I pick up the phone, surprised to see that she's calling.

The second I do, I know I've made a mistake. “You did this. You ruined my life.” Lyla sounds almost unhinged.

“You're going to have to slow down and start at the beginning because I have no idea how I play into any of this.” I thought I was done with her breakdowns and outbursts, but I guess some things can't be escaped.

“Your bet with Arson is what ruined my relationship with him. Now he won't even talk to me.” I can hear her sobbing on the other end of the line, but I don’t feel an ounce of pity for her.

“He broke up with you back when we made the bet?” I have a feeling I know what the truth is, and I'm going to make her admit it, if possible.

“No, he just broke up with me when this whole mess came out.” On the other end of the line, she blows her nose in the most unladylike way.

I lean back in my office chair in the living room and put my feet up on the desk I’d brought out until the project is complete. “So what you're saying is when he found out that you were betraying your best friend and being nasty about it and using it as a reason to ruin her life, all of a sudden he broke up with you and it's my fault.”

Silence follows my statement, aside from a slight sniffle.

“Well...”

“So it's my fault that you did a bad thing that he disagreed with, that proved that you are untrustworthy, unkind, and downright cruel to people you claim to care about.” I press my lips together and nod my head as if her scenario makes perfect sense.

“If you hadn't made the bet...”

“He is the one that pitched the bet, and it was your idea. I'm the one that didn't know that part until later. Which of us here got blindsided?” I don't want to let her blame me for any of this because I wasn't part of her betrayal, or the consequences she’s now facing.

“It doesn't mean it's not your fault.”

I don’t want to give a logic to someone who's arguing with emotions only, so I decide not to try anymore. “Are you sure you want to get into a conversation about blame?”

As I say the words, I hear her inhale on the other end of the line and I wait for her to yell at me and call me names. We haven't really had it out about this yet. It's something that we'd had a conversation about in court but then never again brought up. But what she did to me is absolutely unforgivable and with all my money and power, I couldn't right her wrong.

“Don't you dare bring that up right now.” I can hear the fury in her voice, as if she can't believe my audacity for bringing up what she did.

“Maybe it's time you take some accountability for your actions, Lyla.” At this point, I don't really care how she feels. There's not much more she can do to me. Everything she has done up to this point, has been in an effort to ruin my life. Whether on purpose or on accident doesn't really matter. Her actions have negatively impacted my life, and I’m not shouldering the blame for anything else she wants to put on me. “All that weight and that burden is yours to carry, not mine.”

“You’re such an asshole.”

“Maybe I am. How is your sister, her husband, and your niece?” I know she's been out to visit them relatively recently, and I’m curious what she’ll say.

“Don't ask about my family; you haven't been part of that for a long time.” She spits the words with so much venom they'd sting if she had any power or effect over me.

“Did you ever really consider me a part of your family, even when we were married?” Of course, I know the answer to that question, and I also know it's going to make her angry that I'm asking it. As if in response, the phone goes dead in my ear, and I pull it away with a slight grimace that's almost a smile.

At least it did the job of getting her off the phone. I have no doubt she'll continue to blame me for everything that goes wrong in her life, probably for the rest of her life. If I hadn't married her and then divorced her, she'd be living the dream that she always had since she was a little girl. The dream of having a man with all the money she could ever want that she could do anything with.

Of course, that was her dream. My dream was never to be cheated on, taken advantage of, or to be someone's wallet. I have no problem supporting the people I love, but if they don't love me and I don't love them, it's all kind of null and void, isn't it?

Thinking about how things had fallen apart with Lyla, my thoughts turn to Everly. I want to fix everything that went wrong between us because I don't feel that Everly is anything like Lyla.

I can't help but think that Everly and I could make things work. What I feel for her and what I think she feels for me seems real, tangible. As if I could touch it, prove it even. Maybe that doesn't make sense, but it makes sense to me.

Still, I'm not really sure what to do. While she's definitely warmed back up to me quite a bit, it doesn't feel like we've quite made it back to the stage of being able to get close. And I don't mean physically. Physically, I have no doubt that we could both easily lose control and wind up in one another's arms for another night.

As it is now, I can't go a single moment without thinking about how she'd felt, the way she looked at me, how incredible she'd been that night She's perfect, beautiful, incredible, intelligent... everything I could ever want in a partner.

But every time I try to think about winning her back, but I also feel little awful for that line of thinking. Trying to win her as if she's some kind of prize instead of a human being that I've hurt feels... disgusting. Still, I want her back in my life and I'm willing to do whatever it takes. If that means give her time, I'll gladly give her time. The one thing I don't think I can do is let go, and thankfully she doesn't seem to want me to.

I stand up and begin to pace back and forth in my living space. Without the workers, the area sounds so quiet, and without her here, the place feels empty and cold. I miss everything about her, from her easy humor to the little smile on her face, to the fact that she is willing to say almost anything to me.

I make my way into the kitchen, thinking that maybe a cup of coffee will solve my problems.

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