Page 12 of Doll Face

“Right. Brain fart! Anyway! Hope you two have a fun time,” she says and hangs up before I can ask anything else. She texts me an address a moment later, and I add it to my map app for tomorrow.

“What’s going on?” Ken asks, walking over.

“I’m apparently taking Barbie to a ball,” I say.

“Oh? She just asked you out of the blue?” he asks.

“No, her sister actually set the whole thing up.”

“Wow.” He pauses. “Wait, so Barbie has no idea?”

“No, I don’t think so.”

“That’s going to be interesting.” He chuckles.

“Is the shoot over? We need to go find me a dress.”

He nods. “Yup, they said they just need some shots of Melanie and Tori, so we’re both done for the day.” He smiles. I have on heavy, evening makeup and Ken’s hair is sprayed to the gods, but that won’t stop us from going to a few stores and trying on outfits.

We change into casual clothes, which for me is a pair of jeans and a crop top. I grab my bag and wait for Ken to change before we leave. I’m not familiar with New York City boutiques, but I’m about to be. We take an Uber to Fifth Avenue and head to the shops there. I need a dress—and fast—and that’s not always easy for someone my size. The first two stores we try are a total miss. I was turned away after asking if they sold anything above a size eight. I’m a proud size eighteen, and on some days a twenty. I’m not about to waste my time looking in stores that don’t have my body size on display. We hit the third store, and when I see a more shapely looking display model, I know we’ve come to the right place.

“Excuse me, where can I find your ball gowns? Preferably in a size eighteen?” I ask one of the saleswomen.

“We keep them all to the left, but they make us keep anything above a size fourteen in the back,” one of the women says with an eye roll. She’s similar in size to me, so I know she understands how frustrating it must be to work in a store that does that.

“Would you be able to pull a few in size eighteen? I definitely want to try some on.”

“Of course! Any color or style in particular?”

“I prefer darker colors. Definitely nothing pink. I have a feeling that’s the color my date will be wearing,” I say with a smile. I’m sure my girl has already chosen a beautiful, pink dress to wear for the event.

“Okay, you can wait over there by the dressing rooms. I will bring some over.” She nods and heads into the back.

“We’re in 2023 and they’re still keeping your size in the back? When will they open their eyes and see most of America wears bigger than a size two?” Ken grumbles. He knows all about my rage when it comes to beauty standards. We’ve been on too many shoots where I was referred to as a “plus-size” model instead of just a model. It’s frustrating as hell but I’m not going to take it out on the workers who are just following company policy.

“I’m sadly used to it. I’m just glad they have something in my size. I didn’t want to have to go ask another store,” I admit. It’s hard walking up to thinner women who don’t understand my struggle.

“You shouldn’t have to go to another store,” Ken says with a sigh.

“Here you are.” The woman comes out with a rack full of dresses for me to try on. Since they’re so big and bulky it looks like a lot, but in reality, there’s only about five dresses. Most of them are black, one is navy, and one is tan. I paw through one side while Ken looks at the other side. The first three don’t really do it for me but then Ken pulls out a strapless black one, and we both have the same thought.

“It would look fantastic on you.” He claps.

“I’d like to try it on,” I say. I don’t want to get attached to a dress that turns out to be lumpy in all the wrong places. I don’t enjoy wearing Spanx or any other gut-sucking-in material. Praise to the women who can, but for me it sucks in too much of my belly; it hurts like a bitch. I let everything hang naturally, which means, depending on the dress, there could be some unnatural lumps.

“Here you go!” The woman opens one of the dressing rooms and hands me the dress on the hanger. I close the door and change out of my clothes. Slipping into the dress carefully, I realize it fits like a glove. There’s a slit that shows off my thick thighs, and I immediately know this is the dress I’m going to get. It’s never this easy for me, but there’s no weird lumps or ruffles in the dress. I look hot, so I walk out to show Ken.

“Hot damn! We’re definitely getting that one.” He moves his fingers, motioning for me to twirl for him, and I do. The dress spins with me, and I realize this one has pockets. Oh, fuck yes! I’m definitely getting this one just for the pockets alone.

“Ken! It has pockets!” He knows about every women’s love of dresses with pockets.

“Well that settles it!” He laughs. “Go change and let’s go.”

* * *

I show up to the event early, opting to get there before Barbie does so she can’t kick me out or threaten to have security called on me. After picking my ticket up at the box office, I head to our table for the night. I’m feeling a mix of emotions, but I’m mostly eager to see Barbie again. I’m especially excited to surprise her. I don’t know what Kelly’s said to her, if anything, and that’s a little unnerving, but I’m going for it. This is my chance to show Barbie how much I want to make this work between us.

I’m watching the door for her, and in the bundle of blue, red, and black dresses, I see a bright pink, strapless dress making its way into the place. Her back is to me, but I’d recognize that blonde hair anywhere. I stand, waiting for Barbie to see me.

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