Page 9 of Knot Their Reality

"No, they did not, but I appreciate you being upfront about it. I would love to talk to you more about it so I can make sure we're able to communicate properly." I reach out to him, hesitating just above his arm. I'm not sure if he wants to be touched and I realize there are a lot of barriers between the two of us that I don't understand yet.

I might know what autism spectrum disorder is, and have some ideas of what being on the spectrum means, but it's not enough. It's just a broad spectrum and, of course, every single person is different.

"You may touch me," he says, nodding to my hand, still hovering in the air. "Though it doesn't offer me the comfort that you're more than likely thinking it will. I am not bothered by others touching me, though. But I often don't understand jokes and take things quite literally. Change is hard for me, but I have coping mechanisms that should help me while I'm on the show. I don't have a problem talking about this, but emotions are hard for me.

"I don't express myself well, and I don't always understand others' emotions. I am aware that choosing to come onto Heated will be hard because of this, and you might not be surprised to learn that most people don't deal well with me and my personality. I've often been told that I am too robotic. That I am unfeeling. That I'm too blunt or just plain rude. That I should learn to be empathetic. These are things you may have already noticed but are too polite to mention." Ezra's face and tone are emotionless. "But if something I do or say bothers you, I would ask that you please tell me. I will not be able to tell on my own, and I don't wish to make anyone uncomfortable."

I smile softly, laying my hand on his arm finally. It might not offer him comfort, but it does comfort me. "I think that's something that I, and the other suitors, can be conscious of. And if there's ever something that you don't understand, like Jackson's joke, then please say something. I don't want you to be uncomfortable here either. I would imagine that this is quite outside your comfort zone—coming on a show like Heated, and I think it's very brave of you."

Ezra shrugs. "It was a calculated risk on my part. It is possible that I will not be appropriate for any omega, but since I have not been around many, I thought that this might be the best environment to do so. I appreciate that you are willing to give me a chance, even if I will not become a part of your pack in the end. It is more than many people would do, and while it might not seem as if I appreciate it, I truly do."

"Of course, Ezra. I think it'll be a bit more challenging to get to know one another, but I'm up for it if you are."

"I am."

"Now that we have settled that, I'm gonna get back to this dinner, which is divine." I shove another bite of steak in my mouth, grinning and not giving a damn about how bad my table manners are—at least not until Alejandro huffs.

Remain calm, I recite to myself as I lift my head to look at him, eyebrows raised. "Did you have something to say finally?"

Instead of answering me, he just keeps eating. I steal a glance at his plate and find a chicken breast, basmati rice, and a variety of steamed vegetables. I wonder if this is what he always eats. I'm not great at following diets and that all looks like diet foods. I shake my head at both his food and his attitude. I really don't have time to deal with someone who acts like a petulant child.

Instead, I turn back to Jackson. "So, I know you like well-done steak, but what else do you like?"

Conversation flows easily between the four of us as we get to know one another, while Alejandro spends most of the meal ignoring us. Call me petty, but I do the same to him. I'm a grown ass woman, and I have no children. There's no way in hell I'm going to give attention to an alpha who acts like one.

If he doesn't get his shit together, he can make his way home after our first rose ceremony.

Chapter Four

Sophia

Once we've finished eating, Hector appears in the doorway. "Good evening, Sophia. Suitors. I'm here to show each of you to your rooms if you wish. I can also offer a tour of the house if you so desire. In an hour, drinks will be served by the pool."

As nice as it's been getting to know three of my four suitors, I could definitely use a break. A little time to myself before we reconvene on the back deck sounds like a great plan so I nod as I stand. "Thank you, Hector, for offering to show them around. I'm going to head back to my room and rest for a bit."

Turning to look at the four men still seated at the table, I smile. "I'm not used to spending so much time talking so I just need a quick break. I look forward to seeing you by the pool." Before I break away from them, I turn my attention to Alejandro. "Alejandro, if you intend to continue to ignore me and the others, you might as well stay in your room. I don't need someone acting like a toddler and ruining my night."

I hear Jackson stifle his laughter, but Jace lets his booming laughter ring out in the room. This man just doesn't give any fucks, does he?

"He is acting much like a toddler, isn't he?" Ezra asks, his eyes on Alejandro. "I am sure he's quite young, but not that young. Even I do not act like that." He turns back to me with a nod. "It might be best for all of us if he stayed in his room. I get the feeling that he will not enjoy speaking with me. Or hearing my thoughts on his behavior."

I bite my lip to keep myself from laughing, but I can feel my lips turn up at the corners, betraying exactly how I'm feeling. Damn, Ezra really doesn't pull any punches, does he? I just nod my agreement, avoiding looking at Alejandro. "Okay, gentlemen, I'll see you in about an hour."

Then I flee.

Stepping into my suite, I lean against the door and let out a sigh. I hadn't been lying when I said I wasn't used to speaking so much. Yes, I have to speak to people for my job, but it's less often than one might think. Speaking in a courtroom isn't the same, and I don't count that as conversing. Talking about myself and learning about the others is a lot. I'll need to make sure I allow myself time to decompress so I don't become overwhelmed. I can easily see that happening and it's not what I want.

I kick my heels off as I reach behind me to unzip the dress, letting it fall to the floor as I head toward the bedroom. Leaving a trail of clothes, I lay on top of my bed—well, it’s my bed for the next two months at least—completely naked. The sheets are silky beneath me as I lay amongst the fluffy feather pillows that I love so much. Having been here for a week already, I also know that the blankets that pool at the end of the bed are made of Chenille, another favorite of mine.

Bree and Tessa have made sure that I've wanted for nothing while I've been here, and I appreciate it more than they can ever know. I'm not used to others taking care of me—not that I've ever wanted anyone to... except maybe them.

Nope.

I flop over on my stomach, burying my head into the pillow as I scream, kicking my feet and flailing my arms.

Why can't I forget them? Why does everything have to remind me of them? I'm not some pathetic omega usually, so what is it about them that I can't forget? I want to forget them. I want to move on and find my pack. I want to be happy, so why can't I stop thinking about them?

Feeling better after my tantrum, I set an alarm on my phone before settling further into the bed and closing my eyes. A short nap will make me feel more like myself, I'm sure of it.

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