Page 14 of Knot Their Reality

"Adding this on top of the fact that I'm a beta? That's already two strikes against me, and as soon as I open my mouth—that's usually the third. I can't help the way my brain works, but they don't have to give me a chance. Why would they when there are alphas trying to sweep them off their feet? I'm too much trouble."

"No, you're not." I shake my head, leaning forward in my seat and setting my drink on the table as I lock eyes with Ezra. "There's nothing wrong with you. Your brain works differently, and not everyone is up to dealing with that. That's a them problem, not a you problem. You're not too much trouble. They just don't want to put in the effort."

Ezra nods slowly. "That makes sense. Maybe you're right. They just weren't the right fit, but Sophia might be. She was understanding. I like the way she talks and the way she thinks. Though I would prefer not to watch any more public displays of affection between her and you."

I chuckle. "I'll try my best, Ezra, just for you."

"I cannot tell if you're being genuine or if you're giving me a hard time." His eyes narrow as he considers me.

"I'll make a deal with you," I tell him. "I promise that when I speak to you, I will only say what I mean. But if you ever don't know if someone is being genuine, please come to me. I'll help you while I can."

Ezra smiles, surprising me, as it's the first time I've seen him do that. "I would like that very much, Jace. Thank you."

I return his smile before turning my attention to Alejandro. "And what about you, young buck?"

His nose wrinkles at that, but then he sighs. "I think I'm going home on Saturday. I didn't exactly make a good impression on Sophia, did I?"

"Not really," Ezra tells him.

Alejandro frowns. "I also don't know how to deal with you, Ezra. You really just say everything you're thinking, don't you?"

"Not everything. There's a lot I don't speak out loud, but yes, more often than not, I will say what I'm thinking. It comes from years of not knowing what others are thinking—of not understanding. I am also not used to dealing with more than one person at a time or getting to know new people. It's... uncomfortable for me."

"I can understand that," the young alpha responds. "I know I apologized to Sophia, but I don't think it's enough. I don't want to get my hopes up, only to be sent home on Saturday."

Ezra hums. "Just because you cannot see her does not mean you can't still apologize and explain. Which is what I believe Sophia wants. She did ask on multiple occasions why you acted the way you did, and you never answered her. You could write her a letter and explain yourself. I think she will appreciate that."

"Ezra, you're one very smart man," I tell him. "I never would've thought of that, but he's right, Alejandro. If you don't want to go home, this is your best bet. It was driving her crazy because she didn't understand."

Alejandro ducks his head. "It's embarrassing."

"What is?" Jackson asks as he leans forward. I know this is technically supposed to be an interview, but it doesn't feel like that to me—and I think the others might feel the same way. This feels like getting together with friends and catching up on our lives. Sure, I've only known these guys for twenty-four hours, but I think things will happen faster here. They have to.

We're stuck together twenty-four-seven as we get to know Sophia and wait to see who she'll choose. Friendships are bound to happen quickly. Just like our relationships with Sophia.

"The reason why I wouldn't speak to Sophia. She hurt my feelings, and I couldn't figure out how to explain it." He snorts. "And then I realized I was acting like the toddler she accused me of being, and that's... emasculating? I'm not even sure if that's the word I mean to use. And it’s not because of her, but because of how I was acting. How am I supposed to explain that to her? Not to mention the fact that I've already made an ass of myself and soon enough half of America will know how immature I am.

"Maybe I'm not ready for a pack or an omega. Maybe I'm like those omegas you spoke about. I've been a model since I was a teenager, and I think that maybe it's skewed my view of how things are supposed to be? I'm not meant to be the center of attention, Sophia is, and that shouldn't be hard for me to accept... but it is?"

Jackson clears his throat. "I actually think what you just said was very mature of you. And you might be right—you might not be ready for this, but you'll never know if you don't try."

He nods slowly. "That makes sense. Yeah, I think that writing her a letter might be a good idea. Not that I've ever written a letter before. This should be fun."

I glance at Tessa and Bree out of the corner of my eye to find them smiling back at us. They don't say anything so I'm guessing we're on the right track with what they want us to talk about.

"I do have another question for you, Ezra," Alejandro says. "If you don't mind?"

"You can ask whatever you wish, though you may come to regret it once I answer."

Alejandro looks like he wants to laugh but doesn't want to offend the beta. He just nods slowly. "You said you have a problem with PDA—public displays of affection," he fills in at Ezra's blank look. He continues when Ezra nods. "How do you see that working if you become part of her pack? You won't be the only man with her. Would you expect the others not to kiss her or hold her hand when you're in the room? There's nothing wrong with that if that's how you feel. I'm just curious, I guess. I've never known anyone on the spectrum, and I'm not sure if the questions I'm asking are appropriate or not."

"It's unlikely you will ask anything that will offend me, so please feel free to ask any questions you might have." Ezra sits there for a moment before answering the question. "I don't know for sure how I will react. I'd like to think that I'd be able to become used to it, but I don't know."

I chew over his words, because that definitely seems like something that could be a problem. "You might not be made to be a part of a pack either," I say gently. "Because if you have problems with PDA, what's going to happen when it comes time for the heat? Do you want to be part of the heat?"

"I don't know. This would require me to see the omega involved with the others in the pack. Everyone would be naked, and there would be bodily fluids." He wrinkles his nose. "I don't know if I could do that. But how will I know if I don't try?"

"I can see where you're coming from, Ezra." Jackson glances at me before looking back at Ezra. "But that's not really something you can try out here. You know what I mean? Sophia's heat won't be for eight more weeks, and by then she will have chosen her pack—more than likely they will be bonded to her. You can't just break a bond if you realize you can't do it. Breaking a bond is hard and can kill you if it's not done correctly."

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