Page 110 of Knot Their Reality

I can’t understand why I haven’t tried harder. Sophia is an attractive woman both on the inside and out. But something is holding me back, and I can’t figure out what it is or why. I was hoping that once we were able to spend some time alone that I’d be able to figure it out, but time is slipping away from me. There’s a good chance that she could send me home tonight—hell, we’re all up for the chopping block except for Brody and Chase.

Part of the reason I’m so worried is because I feel like I’m the last one for her to think of, hence why we haven’t had that time together. Not that I can blame her. If I get sent home, it’ll be on me. Because I haven’t been trying.

What does it say about me that the idea of going home doesn’t make me sad?

“Malik?”

I stop the swing as I lift my eyes to find Sophia standing timidly on the top step. It’s worrying that she’s being so timid because I’m not sure that I’ve seen her be timid more than a handful of times while on the show. It’s always when she’s unsure or uncomfortable, and I hate that she feels that way around me.

“Hey, Sophia.” I force myself to smile, patting the swing beside me. “Are you here for our one-on-one time?”

She nods as she comes to sit beside me and I start back up the gentle swinging movement. “I’m sorry it’s taken me this long to make time for you. I really tried to make time for everyone I haven’t been able to spend one-on-one time with, but there’s so many of you that it’s hard.”

“Of course, I understand. You don’t need to apologize for that. I’m just glad you’re here with me now.” And I am glad that she’s here—mostly. This right here is what I’m talking about. Why am I not ecstatic to have this omega’s attention fully focused on me?

“Obviously, we’ve had a bit of time to get to know one another, but I feel like that’s just surface knowledge. I’d love to hear more about your life, and I want to share some of my life with you.”

I just nod, and we spend the next hour just talking about the things we love and how we hope things turn out in our lives. And still, there seems to be something missing, and I don’t understand.

Unable to stand it any longer, I shake my head. “I need to be frank with you, Sophia.”

“Of course.” She sits up straighter, turning to face me more fully. “Please, feel free to share anything you need to.”

I hesitate for a moment, trying to figure out how to work it politely before giving up and just blurting it out. “There’s no chemistry between us, is there? Or is it just me? I sound like an asshole, and that’s not what I’m intending.”

Sophia giggles, lifting a hand to her face as if to hide it. It makes me smile and stops me from freaking out. I reach up to pull her hand down.

“Don’t hide your smile. I didn’t mean to just spit it out like that. I just feel like I’ve been edging around something. It feels like something is missing and it’s kept me from getting to know you.” I shake my head, still not understanding it. “You’re an attractive woman, and you’re so smart. You have a quick wit that I adore, and on paper, you’re the perfect woman for me.”

She nods slowly. “But it still feels like something is missing? Like it just doesn’t feel right? Like we don’t have a connection? You’re not the only one who feels it. It’s part of the reason I wanted to spend time with everyone because I haven’t clicked with everyone. I don’t want to send people home just because we didn’t get the time to click. But we’re never going to click are we?”

“No, I don’t think we are.” I shake my head, regrettably. “But that’s bound to happen, right? There’s only so much they can do to provide you with suitors. Some things just aren’t able to be judged based on data, I think. Some people just don’t click.”

She beams up at me, but I catch a trace of tears in her eyes. “I’m glad you brought it up. Honestly, I was blaming myself. I figured I was spending too much time with others. That I wasn’t being fair to you—to either of us.”

“Funnily enough, I was having the same concerns earlier. I worried I hadn’t put in enough effort to get to know you.” I let out a sigh of relief. “I feel so much lighter now. I don’t think I realized just how much this was weighing on me.”

“Me too.” She falls quiet as we continue to rock in the swing.

Turning to look at her, I ask, “Are you okay?”

“I am. I promise.” She wipes at her face, and it’s only then I realize she’s crying. As I reach for her, she waves me off. “Just ignore the tears. I’ve kept such a lock on my omega side for so long that it’s working overtime with all the emotions. It’s crazy the things that can make me cry right now. I’m only feeling relief right now, I promise.”

I nod. “I believe you. Do you want me to get Chase or Brody for you? Or someone else?”

She shakes her head. “No. If you don’t mind, I’d love it if we could just sit here and swing for a bit longer.”

“I can do that.”

So we do. We sit in silence, rocking in the swing until Brody appears to let us know it’s dinner time. After that, I guess I’ll be saying goodbye to Heated. But I’m okay with that.

Standing among the other suitors as we await the rose ceremony to begin, I feel at peace. I’ve already said my goodbyes to Quinn and Jackson, the two men I’ve grown closest to. They’d been shocked when I told them I would be going home tonight. Sophia might not have come out and said it, but after our conversation, there’s no reason for me to remain. With me gone, that’s one less person Sophia will have to split her time between.

I’m interested to see if she’ll be sending anyone else home or if she’ll be handing out any other colored roses tonight. I won’t be a part of Sophia’s pack, but that doesn’t mean I’m not invested in who she does choose. I guess I’ll be watching the show after I leave. It’ll be odd watching myself on television, but I have to see who she chooses.

The lights for the stage turn on as the others dim until the only things illuminated are the stage and where we stand. The door opens, and Reginald makes his way onto the stage with Sophia, Chase, and Brody right behind him.

“Welcome back to Heated. We’ve come to the end of our third week of the show, and Sophia is ready to make more hard decisions about who will be a part of her pack.”

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