Page 57 of Knot Their Reality

I shrug my shoulders. "We all know fated mates is just a myth—a bedtime story for moms to tell their kids. They don't exist, and there's no reason why I should feel like they're mine. Unless you know of some scientific data that I don't."

"No." He shakes his head. "But I don't need scientific data to know that the minute I laid eyes on my mate, I knew she was mine. It could be something that's built into our designations. It could be intuition. There's so many things it could be, but calling it ridiculous because you don't understand it, doesn't make it any less true. Do you want them to be your mates?"

I shrug again, ducking my head at Finn's disapproving look. "Yes? I think. I don't freaking know. That's why I came to talk to you. Nothing makes sense to me right now. And I'm worried that it's just my libido talking. What if I just want to sleep with them again? Tomorrow's date could turn into an actual fuckfest based on how I’m feeling right now. And I can't sleep with them."

"No? Why not?"

"Because I haven't seen them in two years? Because it's the first week of the show? We haven't even had the first rose ceremony. Because I don't need it to cloud my judgment? I can give you a million reasons why I can't."

"Are they reasons or excuses?"

Anger rises from the pit of my stomach. How dare he say my reasons are excuses? Who the fuck does he think he is? I open my mouth to ask him just that, but then snap it shut again. This anger feels out of place, telling me that there might be more truth to his words than I want to admit.

Instead of blowing up, I take the time to actually think about it. Are they valid reasons or just excuses to not let them get too close? I'm not sure, which is what I tell him.

"There's nothing wrong with not knowing, but I'm proud of you for admitting you don't know. But maybe instead of assuming sex is going to happen, consider that it might not. Even if there's been innuendos, they might want to take it slow too. But even if they don't... What do you want? Do you want to take it slow? If so, then maybe you should consider telling them just that."

"And if I don't want to take it slow? Not that I'm saying that I don't," I add quickly.

Finn laughs. "I'm not going to judge you either way, Sophia. That's not my job. My job is to help you. The first thing you need to do is decide what it is that you really want—not just from Pack Lewitt, but from all the suitors. Do you want to take sex off the table? Do you want to go slow? Do you want to decide in the moment?

"I'm not going to lie to you. Sex is a huge part of pack dynamics. Not to mention, mating can't happen without it. If you decide to take sex off the table altogether—" he holds up his hand when I go to interrupt him, "I'm not saying you want to, but if you do—you have to consider that you may have chosen someone you're not sexually compatible with."

I shake my head, laughing a little at the fact that I've tried to cut him off twice and he's had none of it. I kind of love that about him. "I'm not going to take sex off the table. Honestly, I want to do whatever feels right—whatever feels natural. Which means I need to stop freaking out about the group date tomorrow. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, then it doesn't."

Finn just smiles.

"So this whole talking to you thing... it's going to be a lot of you already knowing what my answer is going to be and making me realize I already know the answer, isn't it?"

"Maybe?" Finn laughs. "And I don't always know what your answer is going to be. It's more about giving you options that let you find your answer. This isn't an easy thing for anyone to be going through—let alone an omega. Which is exactly why I'm here. I'm not here to give you answers but to help you find answers."

I wrinkle my nose at that. "It'd be easier if you just gave me answers. Just saying."

Finn laughs again, shaking his head. "Yeah, that's not going to happen. Now that we've worked through that, is there anything else you want to discuss?"

I shake my head. "No, I think I'm fine. I was just having a minor crisis and apparently needed to talk through it because I'm incapable of working it out myself."

"You're not incapable of working it out yourself. You just need a little push here and there. There's nothing wrong with that, and I hope that by the time you leave here with your pack, I've been able to teach you some ways to get to the answer without me."

"I hope so too, but if not, then I guess I'll just have to have more sessions with you."

Finn laughs. "I'm not cheap."

"And I'm not broke," I say with a laugh. "I also have pretty good insurance."

"That may be true, but I'm still hopeful that you won't need me when this is all said and done. But if you still need me, I am taking new patients. Though everyone has to be aware that for two to three months of the year, I'm unavailable."

I nod, stretching as I stand. I have no idea if I'll need to keep seeing anyone when Heated is over, but I can admit that I probably should've taken therapy more seriously when I was in it. "Thanks, Finn. I think I'm going to head to my room and spend the rest of the night relaxing."

"That sounds like a great plan, Sophia. I'll see you tomorrow after your final group date."

I shoot him a grin before heading to my room. I could be hanging out with Asher, Carson, Chase, and Liam right now if I wanted, but I can almost guarantee that I'd end up sleeping with them. Sure, I'd just admitted to Finn that I wanted it to play out naturally, but I think I just need a break before seeing them again.

I'm obviously attracted to them—how could I not be—and I need to make sure I'm thinking with more than my pussy. She gets a little desperate at times, and I don't want to just rush into bed with them because I'm horny.

Plus, there were multiple suitors that made me feel like that. I hadn't slept with Brooks, and I'd spent time alone with him. Sure, our date was spent at a spa so we were surrounded by people most of the time, but I'd managed to not sleep with him. So maybe I can manage the same thing with the four men tomorrow. If not, I highly doubt I'll regret it.

Now, I just need to stop thinking about having sex with them and calm down so I can relax. Maybe I need an orgasm or two first.

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