Page 83 of A Touch of Rose

“Because I know you blame yourself for Kelly. But there was nothing you could have done about me. I was drinking before I moved in. Losing Nix pushed me over the edge, and I fell head-first into self-destruction,” she admits with a sad smile.

I nod, looking away.

“You aren’t responsible for other's choices, Ren. Not Kelly, not me, not Nix. You need to stop taking on everyone else's baggage.” Her tone is firm. Final. She’s not starting a debate, she’s telling me how it is.

“I–” I’m about to defend myself, but she’s right. I can’t even deny it because that's exactly what I’ve done for years. Hell, for my entire life.

What if I hadn’t dated Kelly, what if I was gentler when I broke up with her? What if I’d spent more time making sure she was okay? What if I’d been the one that drove Nix home that night? What if I hadn’t gone out drinking with him in the first place? What if I was paying more attention while Rose was living here, would I have seen her slipping down a dark path?

If I can just be better, if I can just work harder, and help more. If I just give more of my time, of myself, can I keep the people I love safe?

The answer is no. No amount of fear, pressure, or whatever you want to call it will be enough to keep someone else from making their own choices in life.

“You’re allowed to be happy.”

Her words hit me like a lightning strike to my chest, knocking the air from my lungs.

“You think I’m not happy?” I ask tightly, hating how weak I feel at this moment.

“Are you?” she asks, but the longer I take to answer, the harder my heart pounds.

Rose smiles one last time before she leaves the room, and I’m left reeling.

CHAPTER FIFTY ONE

“Woke The F*ck Up” by Jon Bellion

HOLDEN

“I’m in love with her!” Ren announces as he rushes into the kitchen. Nash and I look at each other, and then back to Ren.

“Uh, yeah? We know?” I say, but it sounds like a question. I guess it is. I’m questioning why he’s announcing that like it’s news to us.

“Join the club,” Nash offers with a chuckle, making Ren frown. “You didn’t think you were the only one of us in love with her, did you?” Nash asks, and Ren pauses. Hell, he knew I was in love with her years ago.

“Fuck.” Ren’s frown deepens, and his shoulders sag. “I’ve got no chance,” he murmurs, making me snort.

“Good thing you’re pretty,” Nash teases, and Ren jerks back like he was slapped.

“The fuck?” Ren grunts, making Nash chuckle.

“Good thing you’re so pretty cuz you’re so dumb…” Nash clarifies, waving a piece of cheese at Ren as he makes his ham sandwich. Ren’s face twists in outrage.

“What he means is that we all love Rose,” I say, and Ren throws his hands up, getting more frustrated.

“You already said that!”

“Let me finish, jeez.” I shake my head, leaning back against the kitchen counter and taking a sip of my juice. No more booze in the house now that Rose is back. She said it was fine, but we would all give up a lot more than just alcohol for Rose’s comfort. Ren glares daggers at me, and I nearly spit my juice from laughing. Rose is upstairs unpacking her room. She’d moved all her stuff to Nissa’s after Nix passed. It’s good to have her back. “We love her, but it’s not one way. She loves us too.”

“Both of you?” Ren asks, eyes wide.

“This is why he called you pretty, dude. Catch up, bro. Yes, she loves us both.” I raise my brows at him, waiting…waiting…still waiting…there it is! I chuckle as Ren’s face lights up, and he doesn’t even respond before taking off out the door.

“Took him long enough,” Nash chuckles, and I snort.

“Honestly.”

CHAPTER FIFTY TWO

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