Page 83 of Erik's Salvation
“You’re not. I’m with you by choice.”
Erik dropped his chin to his chest, so many fucking emotions coming to the surface. “Thank you, friend.”
“Of course. Still in two days’ time?”
Erik’s jaw clenched. “That’s what Marco told me.”
“Send over all the information. I’m going to make sure your ass is covered.”
Fuck, he was lucky to have Chandler. He ran a hand through his hair. “Have I told you how much I appreciate you?”
“Nope. But feel free to send me a bottle of Dalmore 64 Trinitas for Christmas.”
Erik laughed. That was a serious top-shelf whiskey. “Done.”
He hung up, hearing the steps from the hallway before he turned. His mother stood in the doorway, the smile from earlier not currently present. “Everything okay, honey?”
He shoved his phone into his pocket. “Yeah, everything’s fine, Mom.”
She walked further into the room. “I’m not just talking about right now. I’ve asked you a couple of times since you’ve been back, and I always get the same answer. I’m going to push you for some honesty now.Areyou okay?”
He ran a hand through his hair. She was right, shehadasked him before, and he’d always brushed it off with pretty little lies.
“Better than I thought I’d be.” It was more honesty than he’d normally give. “How areyoudoing?” he asked, ready to deflect the attention. “Since Dad’s heart attack?”
“It was a scare. For a moment there, I thought I was going to lose him.” There was a slight sheen to his mother’s eyes. “And after losingyou, I don’t think I would have coped very well.”
A rock formed in his throat. “You never lost me, Mom.”
The sheen became thicker. “Oh, but I did, honey. Eight years ago, I lost my oldest son. My first baby. But I understand that the pain of the past kept you away, and you did what you needed to do to survive. There were too many memories in this town from the person you used to be.”
It was so fucking true. He’d never voiced any of that out loud, but of course, his mother knew.
“When you first got back, I was worried you’d come in body, but that was it,” she said softly. “Tonight’s the first night I’ve seen beyond the man you put on for show.”
His heart pounded in his ears, drowning out nearly everything else. “She almost makes me feel like I canbethat man again.”
“I can see that.” His mother stepped forward and grabbed his hand. “I love you. So much. And I can see that this thing between you and Hannah is real. Cherish that. Nurture it. Sometimes love can pull us away from the brink and bring us the salvation we need.”
Every word fell into his chest like a perfectly placed explosive, detonating the shadow of a man he’d become. “I’m starting to learn that.”
His mother cast her gaze down, and when she looked up, there was something new in her expression. Something harder. “This job of yours…are you staying safe?”
She said it like she somehow knew what he did. Suddenly he felt like a kid again, trying to keep secrets from his all-knowing mother. “Yes.”
“I’m not just talking about physically, Erik.” She held his gaze so long that his breaths started to shorten. “I know you don’t shy away from danger, but if you sit on the edge of life and death too long, you eventually lose more than you’re willing to pay.”
“It won’t be forever.”
How long then?The words were a whispered question he’d never asked himself before. How long did he want to play God? How long did he need to spend clearing the world of assholes just to allow himself to breathe?
She squeezed his arm. “I hope not, honey. I want you to have the peace you deserve.”
Peace. Something he never thought he’d find again. But since Hannah…there was hope.
“Whoops. Sorry.”
His mother stepped away, and he looked up to see Hannah in the doorway. “I was, um, looking for the bathroom, but I obviously went the wrong way.”
