Page 85 of You're so Bad

Bertie’s on the floor, nose deep in the little dish of ice cream I set out for him, and he won’t be coming up for air anytime soon.

She lifts her eyebrow and says, “You think I’m surprised you didn’t listen to me about Leonard? What better way to get you to do something than to tell you to do the opposite? It’s been like that since you were a little girl. If your bull-headed grandfather knew his ass from his elbow, he’d stop texting you altogether. Within a week, you’d be dropping by that harlot’s pool to see if he’d had a heart attack.”

I nearly drop the hot tea into my lap. “So, youweretrying to set me up with Leonard?”

She lifts her shoulder and dips her head. “Not as such. You’re an adult now, and you do what you want. But I wasn’t opposed to the idea. From the first time I met him, he reminded me of you. Stubborn and funny. Quick.”

Wounded, she means but won’t say.

“I wouldn’t say we’re together.” I set the tea down on the coffee table since I don’t trust my hands. “He’s made it pretty clear he sees himself as a bad bet.”

“Then it’s on us to prove otherwise to him. Don’t you think?”

“He’s not open to the idea of having a girlfriend, Nana. I’m not sure I want to go there with him either. The last thing I want…”

Is for my heart to get broken again. Is to let in someone who’s going to reject me. Leonard calls me a tiger, but I’ve only become that way because when the people you love keep turning you away, you grow claws.

I cough, then continue, “We’re just having a good time. There’s no reason to make it any more or less than that.”

“So you agree with him then?” she asks, giving me her bestShauna, I’m disappointed with youlook.

“No,” I argue, “but—”

“I think he’s going to surprise everyone, himself most of all. There may be some setbacks, but he’s headed in the right direction.” She pauses, sipping her tea, and then sets it down. “And you’re going to surprise yourself, too. Because you’re nothing like your mama, Shauna May. Your grandfather and I tried our best, but she was missing a piece, and there was no one on this earth who could give it to her. Every time we had to bring you back to her, we cried together. That’s the closest I’ve ever felt to that infernal man.”

Pain radiates through my chest, because my secret fear is that I’m as twisted and ugly inside as the monsters I’ve been making for the last several weeks. It also hurts to think about my grandfather crying for me.

Maybe Rafe’s right.

Maybe I don’t need to cut Grandpa Frank off altogether.

My grandmother reaches for my hand and squeezes it, and when she meets my gaze, I’m alarmed to see there are tears in her eyes. “There’s no end to the love inside of you, my sweet girl.”

And before I know what’s happening, I’m crying too.

ChapterTwenty-Three

Leonard

By Friday, I’ve convinced myself that Reese has moved on. There’s been no sign of him, and I’ve done about a dozen walk-throughs of the neighborhood over the last few nights—enough that one old bird yelled at me about casing her place. She has about five hundred bird baths outside, so you’d think she’d be grateful to anyone who’d take some off her hands. My next-door neighbor saw me walking around last night and warned me that there’ve been another couple of robberies.

I hope to hell Reese wasn’t involved in them, but judging by his note, that’s exactly what scared him off.

I’ve checked the missing person’s list about a dozen times, and while a couple of new photos have popped up, his picture still isn’t on there.

It doesn’t mean he’s dead, I keep telling myself.

It doesn’t mean he’s in trouble.

I’d moved on plenty, starting when I was just sixteen.

“What’s on your mind?” Burke asks, giving me a sharp look. The weather’s mighty fine today—even Shauna’s sour neighbor would give it a five out of ten—so we’re out back, working on replacing a few pieces of rotten siding. The paperwork for the business still hasn’t gone through, so Burke’s been picking me up every day, dropping me off every afternoon. Danny gave me a ride to the grocery store the other day, too, although I’m shit at planning meals, so I’m already out of nearly everything.

I want to tell Burke about Reese.

I want to tell him other shit too.

I want to tell him that I’ve avoided Shauna since last Sunday, even though seeing her is the only thing I really want to do. We texted a little on Monday and Tuesday—mostly photos of terrible clothes we could wear to the photoshoot to piss Bianca off. But then she told me Bianca had up and moved the photoshoot to next weekend because she still felt “psychological distress” over what went down at the campground. We agreed it was Champ’s black eye that had done the deed, especially since she’d texted Shauna previously asking if “Doc” had any hints for getting rid of a black eye. I’d told her to use a raw steak, not because I thought it would work but because it would be another crappy experience for my old buddy old pal.

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