Page 71 of You're so Bad

I barely swallow a laugh as Blondie stares at her in confusion.

“Oh, and she says she really enjoyed the reading of—” Josie makes a gagging sound and then shrugs. “I guess there’s no disputing taste, but she enjoyed the Mitch Album reading you did at her funeral.”

“Oh my God!” Blondie says loudly, glancing around the small crowd. “That’s true, and only twenty people came to Mabel’s funeral, so she’d have no way of knowing that was my great-aunt’s favorite author. She reallyispsychic.”

Shauna nudges me, and I crowd in closer so I can whisper to her without being overheard. “I know what you’re thinking, Tiger. But I didn’t have a damn thing to do with that. She must’ve done her own research.”

She looks up at me, her eyes shining. “She’s going to give Burke a run for his money if he decides to open that call center.”

I swallow a laugh. My buddy’s not the kind of guy to buy into the supernatural, but his girl is into crystals and flowers and good vibes, so who knows. Love does strange things to a man.

“She’s supposed to be doing a reading forus, Melly,” Bianca says, her voice sharp-edged.

“Sorry,” Blondie aka Melly says, her eyes wide. She’s probably wondering what Bianca’s going to do to her next, if the first punishment was that song she didn’t have to sing.

Josie peers back into the crystal, pushing her lips to the side.

“Okay, happy couple,” she says in a flat voice. “Twelve months together, huh? A lot of people would say that’s not a big enough foundation for marriage, but I can see you’re perfect for each other.”

“But we’ve only been together eight months,” Bianca snaps.

“No, what I’m seeing is very clear,” Josie argues. “Twelve months.”

“You’re wrong,” Queen Bee repeats, but there’s something off about her tone, and Colt looks like someone shoved a hot poker up his back door.

Shauna goes rigid beside me.

Shit. Damn. Fuck.

What if she thinks I found out Colt’s a cheater and decided to let her know in the worst way possible? It’s not true. I’ve got no idea what game Josie the Great is playing, but Shauna doesn’t know that.

“Sure, whatever,” Josie says as a few people start whispering. She leans in closer to the glowing ball, then whistles and leans back. “I see a broken wedding cake. Oops. Oh, and some violence. Make sure you don’t get steak, because if you do, about half the guests are going to get food poisoning. But the good news is youdoget married. Yay for you, and then…yeah. Hey, make sure to watch out for scissors. Can’t tell when they’ll be a problem, but you’re going to want to listen to me on that one.”

“I’m a crafter,” Bianca says, sounding like she’s pissed and then some.

“Might want to change fields.” She shifts her gaze to Colter, who’s staring at her like a fish gazing into the face of the fisherman who hooked him. “You too, actually. But you know what? It’s not gonna rain on your wedding day, so that’s pretty sweet. Oh, and a mourning dove is going to fly over you on your way out to the car. There’s a chance it’ll release waste onto you, the image isn’t clear enough for me to tell, but that’s pretty nice, huh?’’

“What the fuck?” Bianca asks, popping up out of her chair. “Is this supposed to be funny?”

Whether or not it’s supposed to be, it is, but I’m still at a loss about the twelve months thing. How did she know?

I decide that she couldn’t have known. She was testing them, and they failed the test. I glance at Shauna, but her expression is unreadable.

Josie lifts up her hands, palms facing out. “I don’t know if you’re the type of people who read the fine print, but there are no discounts or refunds for people who aren’t happy with their futures. That’s why our slogan isdon’t shoot the messenger. I don’t make the future. I’m just the person you paid to tell you about it. Now, does anyone else want a fortune while I'm here?”

“You’ll be leaving,” Bianca says tightly.

I squeeze Shauna’s hip, hoping she’ll laugh, but she steps away from me. Her eyes are shiny with tears, and panic tightens its hold on me.

There’s more fuss behind us, something about broken cake and making wishes come true, but all I can see is the hurt on Shauna’s face.

“Shauna…”

She turns and runs for the door. I’m about to go after her when Champ grabs my shoulder. Pulling away would cause a scene. I’m tempted to do it anyway, but I don’t want other people to notice Shauna ran out like that. Not after Josie’s twelve months bombshell.

They’ll draw conclusions.

“That didn’t go down well, man,” Champ says in an undertone, as if there was a chance I hadn’t noticed. Shouting breaks out behind him.

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