Page 68 of You're so Bad

Leonard said Nana did it to taunt him, since he and Burke like to make fun of her animal sweaters. Knowing my grandmother, she’s trying to convince Leonard he needs to take Bean back for her own good.

“She’s being spoiled by her great-grandmother, actually,” I say and pointedly pluck a cookie for C off Leonard’s plate.

“Your grandmother lives in town, then,” she asks him as if I didn’t exist.

“No, she’s talking about her grandmother,” he said, leaning down to take a bite of the chocolate chip cookie in my hand. Chocolate smears on his lip. Deciding to give them both a show, I put the cookie down so I can wipe the chocolate off his mouth with my finger, and then I slowly suck on it.

Leonard’s throat bobs as he watches me, and I feel the rush of having affected him again. Maybe this is a game too, but if so, it’s more dangerous than the one I’m playing with Bianca.

Turning back toward Melly, who looks annoyed by my refusal to disappear, he clears his throat and says, “If I called that woman granny, she’d shoot me. But you never know…” he adds with sparkling eyes. “If these two crazy kids can make it work after eight months of dating, then maybe we’ll chase ’em down the aisle.”

I pinch his thigh, and he drops his plate. It shatters, spraying ABC food everywhere—including onto Bianca, who was standing close enough to get some on her shirt.

“Well, shucks,” he says as if his vocabulary weren’t half-swears. “Don’t I just have butter fingers.”

“It’s fine,” Bianca says tightly, in a tone that makes it clear it’s not. “Our cabin’s close. I’ll go change.”

Colter follows her out, and Leonard says, “Ain’t that nice. They can’t keep away from each other for even a minute. We’re a little like that, aren’t we, Tiger?”

I notice the way he watches through the side windows as Colter and Bianca head to their cabin. I know without asking that he’s keeping track in case I want to bring out those crickets. Maybe he plans on doing do it anyway.

We offer to clean up the mess from Leonard’s food mishap, but Shelly, who’s been orbiting us, steps in. I feel something catch in my throat, because at moments like this, when she’s so kind and sweet, it’s hard to remember that she pulled a bait and switch on me. She hasn’t tried to pull me aside yet, probably because Leonard has stuck to me like that adhesive bra, but I know it’ll happen sometime tonight.

Maybe it’s time for me to actually confront her about the shop.

Maybe I need to have a come-to-Jesus moment with all of them.

It’s what Tony Soprano would have done.

Nah, he probably would have popped them off and hidden the bodies somewhere.

Leonard leans in and presses a kiss to my neck. “That was right where you pinched me in the car, Tiger,” he whispers into my ear. “Right before you made me come. You’re driving mewild.”

His voice shudders through me, his words amping me up, because I still haven’t had him all the way.

I remind myself of what Mira said:Don’t fall for him.

I’m too sensible to do something so dumb, but I can’t deny that I feel his gravitational pull—or that his hands on me feel different than anyone else’s. Of course, I know he’s had plenty of practice to get good with those hands. I need to remind myself it’s nothing personal.

When we bring our plates outside to sit at an empty picnic table, a few of Colter’s friends join us, as well as Melly, who’s impressively dedicated to hitting on my fake boyfriend. Her friend’s there, too, but her attention is focused on Colt’s best friend—a CPA named Grayson, who’s helpfully wearing a gray shirt. He’s Colt’s best man, my counterpart.

Leonard makes a show of trying to feed me from his plate.

“Oh, aren’t you sweet,” Melly says with a breathy sigh. “I wish I could find someone who’d treat me so nice.”

The guy next to her, another one of Colter’s buddies, nearly spills his plate in his lap in his hurry to offer her a cookie. The thing is, Leonard’s not actually being nice. I’m pretty sure he’s choosing the nastiest things on purpose to torment me because he thinks it’s funny. I’ve held back so much laughter that I might explode from it. The crinkling around his eyes tells me I’m not alone in that.

It feels like we’re alone in a bubble, just the two of us, and I’m actually havingfun. If I’d come here alone, I’d probably want to gouge my eyes out right about now.

I put my hand on Leonard’s leg, just below where those shorts end, and rub slightly.

I tell myself it’s part of the act—and that he only puts his hand over mine for the same reason.

After everyone finishes eating, Bianca, who’s wearing a different button-up shirt tied above the waist, rings her bell from the doorway of the front cabin and announces it’s time for us to go inside and “enjoy” the karaoke machine.

“Now, you all know I can be a little Type A,” she adds from the doorway, getting a round of half-hearted laughter, “so I’ve gone ahead and chosen a song for everyone. Colt and I are going to pop your cherry, but the list for the rest of you is posted on the bulletin board just inside the cabin door. The songs are all significant to Colt and me in some way.”

I exchange a look with Leonard. Leaning in, I whisper in his ear, “I really am tone-deaf. She probably picked something horrible for us.”

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