Page 31 of You're so Bad

Besides…if I moved here, I’d feel like I was taking advantage of Burke. I’m guessing Danny feels that way too, but Danny isn’t the asshole who ran off eight years ago.

It feels like I’ve spent most of my whole life running from who I was, but it still doesn’t feel like I’ve run far enough. Every night, I wake up feeling like it’s all about to come crumbling down on top of me. Feeling like it’s already started.

“No, man,” I say, taking a swig of my beer. “Not right now, anyway. I’m not done fixing up Mrs. Ruiz’s house.”

He shrugs. “How are you going to figure out who took the truck?”

“I’m not, probably. I’m guessing it’s some dumb kid.”

“You don’t think Burke’s parents are behind it?” he asks, arching his brows. Danny’s the armchair detective in the group, on account of he can’t stop listening to true crime podcasts. It’s no wonder he’s going the alarmist route. “What about asking Burke’s P.I. to find it?”

“I don’t want to find it,” I say with a laugh. “Besides, hiring him would cost more than the truck’s worth. There’s no way Burke’s parents would think causing me a minor inconvenience is worth their time.”

He shrugs again, and I figure it’s time to ask him about the doctor website. I’m about halfway through the request when Constance comes out with the whole damn charcuterie board. She’s in a color-block dress, her hair neatly pinned back. The smile on her face, like she knows a secret and is pretty pleased with herself, reminds me of Shauna.

“I knew I loved you,” I say as she sets the board of food down on the small table between the two deck chairs. Danny immediately gets up, as if he’d planned on doing it anyway, and she takes the seat without offering the thanks he wouldn’t want. He starts in on the charcuterie board, collecting some pepperoni folded to look like flowers.

“You’ll love me even more when I offer you some of this,” she says, pulling a flask out of her purse. I try it without asking what it is, then nearly spit it out. It tastes like a cup of coffee someone left in the cabinet under the sink for two months.

“What the fuck is that?” I sputter.

I’ve tried damn near every alcoholic drink under the sun, and I can’t place it. I’m glad I can’t because it means I haven’t had the misfortune of trying it before today.

“Kahlua. I made it myself,” she says, much too excited about it. “It’s one of my new hobbies.”

“Maybe stick with the feng shui.”

“Or the charcuterie boards,” Danny suggests. His eyes are shining in the dark night. “This is good.”

“Thank you,Daniel,” she says. “There’s nothing like a young man with some manners. Leonard could learn a thing or two from you.”

I snort. “That’s Dr. Leonard to you, you old buzzard.”

She laughs with me, then takes another swig from her flask before cringing and then shrugging. “I begrudgingly admit you might have a point about the Kahlua. Now, you were telling him about my granddaughter?”

“Yeah,” I say, scratching my head. “It occurred to me that it’s pretty damn disprovable to claim I’m a pediatric surgeon. All that chucklehead Colter has to do is a Google search. So I was asking Danny here to set me up online.”

Danny starts laughing in a way that confirms he’s had too much to drink. “Leonard Smith, pediatric surgeon. This will be the most fun I’ve had in weeks.”

“Will he get in trouble for impersonating a doctor?” Constance asks. “I’m fine with a pat on the wrist, but we can’t have our boy going to jail.”

“Thanks,” I say flatly.

“I don’t think so,” Danny says. “Not if he doesn’t try to treat anyone or give medical advice. We’ll keep everything vague to the point of absurdity, and if anyone calls us on it, we’ll say it’s a parody website.” He looks downright happy about it. “And if anyone meets him, they’ll have to agree.”

Constance’s eyes light up. “I think I like you, Daniel.”

“Have some more of that hooch you made,” I say. “You’ll start liking everyone.”

“Let me try it,” Danny says, reaching out his hand. Clearly he’s a glutton for punishment. He takes a slug and then lifts his eyebrows and hands it back. “Interesting.”

I laugh and pat him on the back. “How does it feel to have just drunk a year off your life. Least that’s what it feels like.”

“Oh, you,” Constance says, her voice fond. “You’re no better than Shauna. Why, I made her a drink with some of my homemade limoncello the other night, and she accused me of putting Pledge in it.”

I feel like a light’s been flicked on inside of me. I guess I was looking for an excuse to talk about her, not just the wedding game.

“She didn’t want to come tonight, huh?” I’d hoped. I’d even asked Delia to give her a little push.

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