Page 144 of You're so Bad

When he sets me down, I frown at my sticky, frosting-covered hand.

“Let’s get you home and into the shower.”

He’s studying me again. “That’s the second time you’ve said that today.”

“What?”

“You called your househome. Like it was home for both of us.”

“Well it is, isn’t it?” I ask, lifting my eyebrows. “We’ve all missed you. Even Bertie’s not himself.”

He grins. “So he’s not a growling menace?”

“Exactly.”

He swallows, his eyes glassy. Every emotion I’m capable of fills me up like helium in a balloon, making me lighter even though I used to think they could only make me heavier. “I’ve never had a home before now.”

“Well, you’d better get used to it. According to Josie, you’re my soulmate. That means you won’t be able to shake me.”

He cleans my frosting hand off on his shirt.

“Is that your suit?” I ask.

He gives a shaky laugh. “Fuck, no. But Burke has so many of them he could open up a boutique. He won’t mind.” Looking back into my eyes, he says, “You know, I think maybe Josie really can read the future. Because I want you to be my soulmate. I want to belong to you…and for you to belong to me. I can’t think of anything I’ve wanted more than that in my whole life.”

My heart feels too big for one person. Like it’s going to consume my whole body and keep on growing. “I love you.”

He kisses me softly. “I love you too, Tiger. Let’s go home.”

And so we do.

Epilogue

Leonard

The next month rolls by without anything bad happening.

Seriously, the worst thing that happens is that Bertie takes a shit on the carpet at night, and I step on it with a bare foot. Not a great moment, but as the worst moment of the month, I’ll take it.

I’m…happy. I’m over the fucking moon. I’m working with my best friend, and I have a family I love. A woman I worship who’s five thousand times better than me—even though she scowls at me whenever I say so. A cat who seems to like only me and Reese, and a dog who’s slowly becoming resigned to me. I’ve been working with my therapist, and a psychiatrist at her office prescribed me some pills that help me sleep through the night. For the first time in years, I can go to sleep without seeing my old man. That’s a gift I’m not giving back.

Better yet, Burke’s private dick dug up some old dirt on Joel. He found a few of Joel’s foster kids who’d aged out. He’d beaten them too, and they’re teaming up with Reese to press charges. Maybe nothing will come of it. Maybe that asshole will keep pushing people around because it makes him feel like King Dick, but Shane is helping them out pro bono, and he’s the kind of shark you want on your side. Either way, it’s given Reese confidence. So has working at The Waiting Place. He and Rafe finished a mural on the side of the building that got some buzz from local papers and blogs, and they’re going to sell some of his art in The Waiting Place. I’m also helping him study for the GED, and I don’t doubt he’ll pass on his first go-round.

But you don’t get everything you want. They never found the guy who was robbing houses in Mrs. Ruiz’s neighborhood, although the robberies stopped just after the cops found the truck. We all still think Burke’s parents were behind it, but they’re good at keeping their noses clean. Maybe I’m the one who taught them to cover their tracks after I caught them all those years ago.

I’m not proud of that, but I’ve got a lot of other shit to be proud of, and I’m trying to focus on that. On the life I’m building on top of the ashes of all the other ones I’ve left behind.

Today is my girl’s big day—Friday, October 30, the Halloween party she masterminded at The Waiting Place. The whole damn place smells like pumpkin spice, which must be a wet dream for Danny, since he famously bought himself a pumpkin spice candle because he liked the way it smelled. Given Danny’s not the kind of guy to buy himself anything impractical, this purchase is discussed a lot—even though it happened over eight years ago.

That’s what it’s like when you’ve got friends like mine. I’m never going to live down that red suit either, even though I burned it in the firepit in Constance’s back yard and almost caused a fire doing it.

There are food vendors selling caramel corn, spiced cider, and all kinds of delicious crap that’ll knock your teeth out. Each of the art stations is leading visitors through a different craft, and they also have spooky shit for sale.

Shauna’s beasts have sold out, not that I’m surprised. My tiger is talented.

She went through with her plan to give Champ and Bianca statues for their wedding gift, and they sent us a handwritten thank you note that’s the most beautifully passive aggressive shit I’ve ever seen. I framed it for her and hung it up in The Clay Place.

If we ever see them again, it’ll be too soon, although I still got people coming up to me in the street and calling me Doc.

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