“Yes.” It’s not technically true, but it’s also not a lie. That’s the name he’s chosen for himself, the one he feels is his.
“Can I hug you?”
“Let’s not push it.”
She nods, then glances at the door. “Should I say goodbye to Constance?”
“Probably not. I found a voodoo doll with your likeness in her room last month. She’s not the forgiving type.”
“You are, though,” she says with unfounded confidence.
“I’m not the forgetting type.”
She gives a final nod and then leaves. I’m left staring after her with a twist in my gut. It’s formed around Leonard’s original name, the onetheygave him.
ChapterThirty-Three
Leonard
It’s Wednesday night before they spring me.
I was surprised when Shane showed up at the jail on Sunday, looking like a legal badass in his button down and a pair of pants with creases so perfect they must have been fucking ironed. He even brought a pen and a pad, like he thought I might have something interesting to say. I’d figured he was well and truly done with me, and this mess would just convince him he’d been right all along.
I said as much and he said, “For someone who’s smart, you’ve got a good bit of stupid in you.”
“You’ve stayed away from me for the past couple of months,” I challenged him.
“Because I was pissed at you for leaving in the first place instead of coming to us for help. Not because I wanted you in jail.” His mouth lifted at the corners. “Besides, I hear you’ve cleaned yourself up. Got yourself a girl and a kid. That’s fast work, man.”
My heart started pounding in my chest, because I’d been thinking about her and the kid. Thinking about them and feeling panic wind around and through me. Because everyone around me gets covered in dirt—and I don’t want that to happen to Shauna.
Ican’tlet that happen to her.
“Are they okay?”
“Worried about you,” he said, flipping his pen around in his hand. “We all are. This is some bullshit they’re throwing down, but the good news is that we have a good chance of proving it’s bullshit. And Burke’s going to post bail as soon as they give us a number.”
“What if they don’t?” I said, because that’s the fear that’s been growing in my gut ever since that police officer spoke the name I was born with.
“Burke’s parents might be big shots, but we’re about to show them they’re not as all-important as they think they are.” He grinned at me, looking every bit like the friend who’d howled at the moon on a camping trip while we were drunk off bottom-shelf whiskey years ago. “You know, buddy, you might have just made my career.”
He surprised a laugh out of me. “By being a victim for once in my sorry life?”
“Sure, if that’s how you want to swing it.”
They did grant me bail, but it took longer than it should’ve, because even if Burke’s parents are no longer the big shots they think they are, they’re still more powerful than a criminal. A con man.
While I sat in jail, I did nothing but exercise and think. My mind was an uncomfortable place. Dreaming slipped into waking. My father kept finding me and beating me. Throwing me behind bars instead of the police officer who has a ghost of a mustache over his lip. I saw Gidget’s dead body again and again. Felt the weight of her in my arms as I lifted her out of the car, crying, and dug a hole for her in my backyard.
The memories all crowded in, turning the void inside of me into a black hole that’s sucking down everything good. The confidence I’ve felt these last couple of months, building the business with Burke. Being there for Shauna, helping Constance with all of her projects, being a safe place for Reese. The way Burke told me I was as good as his brother. The love I feel for them all, forher, has made me happy in a way I’d never experienced before—in a way I hadn’t thought was possible for me.
They’ve claimed me, and I let them. I’ve wanted to claim them too, but the voice in my head is very clear in its opinions about that.
You bring everyone you love down. You’ll destroy them. You’ll have to watch it happen and know it’s your fault.
Shane told me there’s no chance the charges will stick, but I still feel like an animal that’s been running for years and finally got torn down. It’s easy to imagine how the Burkes might pull it off. I haven’t lived the kind of life that’s above suspicion.
It’s Burke who posted my bail, I know, but Shauna’s the one waiting for me in the lobby.