Page 99 of Love on Deck

I sought Lauren’s face for an explanation, and her cheeks went scarlet. She leaned down, fumbling for what I came to see was her phone on the floor, but I was closer. I picked it up in a fluid motion and found it was a voicemail playing. It must have gone off when the phone hit the floor.

“This is from me,” I said, looking down.

Lauren didn’t respond.

I scrubbed it back to the beginning and hit play. My voice filled the room, louder than before, though still a bit muffled. I cringed, shutting my eyes while the voicemail got worse and worse. Worst date ever. She’s kind of stiff. So uptight. Kevin should have warned me. It’s no wonder she’s single.

Each new phrase heaped more shame in my belly until I felt sick. I turned off the voicemail and stared at her phone, reading the date. But I didn’t need a timestamp to know when that conversation had taken place. “This was after our date.”

“You must have butt-dialed me,” she said.

When I looked up, I saw the pain in her eyes, and her vehemence toward me these last few years made sense. She’d had every reason to hate me then and now. Every reason to reject me out of hand when I’d asked her to pretend to be my girlfriend. But she swallowed whatever disgust she must have felt so she could get the conference, and I’d let her down there, too.

“I’m so sorry, Lauren. I just...” My hands went out to the sides, then fell. “I am so sorry.”

“It was a long time ago.”

I stood up, trying to shake off the sense of failure permeating me. “I’ll go—”

She heaved a sigh. “That’s unnecessary. I’ve already forgiven you, Jack.”

It didn’t compute. I’d hurt her. That was very clear. I gestured vaguely to her phone. “There’s nothing I can say to take that back. I was angry you’d ditched me during our date, and I complained, but I never knew you’d heard it. I had no idea.” I shook my head. “I didn’t even mean half of those things. I was just venting.”

I was antsy to be gone, where I could loathe myself in solitude. It wasn’t just that I’d done something stupid, it was who I’d hurt that killed me. She deserved better than what I’d offered her so far. My car was still gone, so I’d have to call an Uber. But I could do that from downstairs.

Lauren shrugged off the blanket and followed me down the hall. “You don’t need to leave, Jack.”

“Yes, I definitely do. I came here to beg you to take me back, and now I see why you have every reason to turn me away. So I’ll just make it easier for you.”

Lauren took my hand and pulled me to a stop, tugging until I turned back to face her. There wasn’t a lot of room in this small hallway, forcing us to be close. “Beg me, then.”

I shook my head.

“I’m pretty sure neither of us are the same person we were on that date two years ago.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked, but my voice came out as a pathetic whine.

“What would I have said?” Her hand tightened around my wrist, unlocking a deep need within me to have her in my arms.

What was I doing? I didn’t want to run from her. I wanted to hold her tightly and infuse her with all the overwhelming feelings battering me right now.

Lauren came willingly into my arms. I wrapped them over her back, pressing her to me and lowering my head so it rested on top of hers. Her shampoo smelled clean. She let me hold her. I closed my eyes and ran my hands over her back.

“I’ve never felt as awful as I have since Tucker and I dropped you off. I know I don’t deserve you, but I can’t help but feel like I might be falling in love with you.”

I felt her breath catch, her chest expanding against mine. She tilted her head back. “Then be different.”

“From what?”

“My grandpa, who left. Everyone else, who died. My boss, who can’t respect me. Just be here, Jack.”

Her standards were so simple they made me ache. “I can do that.”

Lauren slid her hand up my chest until it cradled my jaw. “That’s a relief, because I’m pretty sure I’m falling in love with you, too.”

She reached up, brushing a tender kiss over my lips. Tension and failure and shame seeped from me the longer her lips moved over mine, healing the parts of me I’d heartily regretted until all I felt was warmth. Abandoning any hesitation, I backed Lauren up until she hit the wall in her narrow hallway, tilting her head to deepen the kiss.

My lips might have said I was falling in love with her, but my heart was already there, jumping in with both feet and not looking back.

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