Page 42 of Love on Deck

“But I didn’t see you.”

She was fishing about my weird exit during the massages this morning, but a hot tub full of her friends wasn’t the place to have this conversation, even if Cara was trying to make up for the awkwardness by asking Kevin about work. “I’m fine, really.”

Amelia didn’t look convinced. “I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to do, Lo.”

“I’ve had a really good time so far.” Which was true. I thought being saddled with Jack for the week was going to make it completely miserable. He was turning out to be nothing like the man I’d made him in my mind.

Sure, he kissed waitresses in the middle of dates and left mean voicemails about how stuck up a lady could be, but on this trip he’d been funny and thoughtful and full of layers I didn’t realize he’d had.

He also had kissed my sister and never told his best friend, and it felt weird. Not for Kevin and Amelia; their five-year relationship was going to be fine. Sydney was only trying to drive a wedge between me and Jack, and it wouldn’t work. But also, it was weird that he’d kissed her already and not me. I didn’t really want to think about how Jack thought of me. Amelia was the younger, prettier, perkier Foley. She was none of the things he’d complained about me being after that date, which was a lowering thought.

“I just want you to enjoy yourself,” Amelia said.

“I am.”

“So don’t feel like you have to stick around if you’d rather not.”

My discomfort grew. Was this her polite way of saying that it might just be better if I called it a night? Honestly, at this point, I didn’t want to be out here, but that didn’t make it sting less when she made it clear she didn’t want me out here either.

I tried for a bright smile. “If you’re sure, then I think I’ll go.”

“Are we okay?”

“Of course we are. I’ll see you in the morning. We have to head out at eight, right?”

“Yeah,” she confirmed. “We need to meet our ride on the dock at eight-thirty.”

I stood, the cold air hitting me fast. “Then goodnight, everyone. I’ll see you all on the beach tomorrow.”

Cara whistled a catcall, and Kevin wished me a good night. I hurried from the hot tub and pulled a towel around me, slipping my feet into my sandals. It was suddenly important that I get back to the room before Jack noticed me missing. I wanted a hot shower and my snuggly crab pajamas before he reached our room, and I was afraid he would ditch his friends the moment he realized his shield was gone.

Why did it feel so icky to imagine Jack with Amelia? I didn’t like it, and I really didn’t like how much I didn’t like it.

My feelings for him were undoubtedly becoming complicated.

I made it to the room and opened the balcony door, cocking my ear to the side to listen to the people in the hot tubs below. I wanted to know if Jack was back yet.

The voices blended together, mixing with the other two hot tubs. I closed the door before I could be caught spying and pulled my bag into the bathroom with me to shower.

But over the next thirty minutes while I cleansed and readied for bed, I couldn’t help playing Amelia’s words over in my head. Don’t feel like you have to stick around if you’d rather not. Was I really the grandma harshing their vibe? Did people even have a vibe anymore, or was that term outdated? Something I wouldn’t know since I was old.

I was more lost than Alice among the Wonderland mushrooms.

By the time I got out of the shower and brushed my teeth and hair, it was only nine-thirty. Maybe I could find Fixer Upper on the TV and lose myself in Chip and Joanna’s adorable relationship and impeccable taste. I grabbed the remote, nestled in bed, and turned on the TV when I heard the beep of a keycard at the door.

Without thinking, I hit power, tossed the remote on Jack’s side of the bed, and closed my eyes, pretending I was asleep. Was that childish? Maybe. Did it mean I wouldn’t have to talk about what happened in the hot tub? Most definitely.

Worth it.

Jack moved about quietly for a minute before he went into the bathroom, and I heard the shower come on. I nestled further into the bed, wishing I’d also turned the lights out before faking sleep. They burned bright orange behind my eyelids and made actual sleep difficult to manage.

Which could also be due to my racing heart.

Jack was out of the shower and brushing his teeth pretty quickly, and before I knew it, he was walking around the room turning out the lights. Ah, sweet relief.

The mattress compressed on his side, my blankets tugging tightly when he climbed into bed.

The silence sat around us so fully it was loud, despite the people below our balcony still partying in the hot tubs.

---