Page 71 of A Kingdom of Shadows

His smile is tight, a string pulling at either end. "You don't need to apologize."

"Your expression would suggest otherwise."

He chuckles, but it's too bitter between us. "Your honesty is charming ."

I smack my lips together, my hands coming behind me as I take in his sage-touched study.

"You can ask the question you are dying to ask, Nara," he says. "I'm not afraid to answer."

My eyes shoot back to meet his. Truthfully, I have a lot on my mind, and trusting him is something I'm still not so sure of, regardless of his nobility. However, I take a risk with my next words. "When you mentioned how you would do anything for Sarilyn, did that mean you were in love with her?"

He stares at me like the question is nothing, but the grip on his hand against the pen tells me otherwise. He looks down. "Once I was. Sarilyn was beautiful, ethereal, strong-willed, and for that, I wanted to do anything for her."

"Then what happened?" What went so wrong?

"She had already been hurt by Aurum, so she no longer craved another half. I already knew that Aurum thrived on the idea of suffering love, and because she was so driven with rage by him, I tried to make her see things could be different. That we could put this feud between kingdoms behind us, that love could be different."

But it was not.

Not for Sarilyn.

"I tried to destroy the Northern Blade." His eyes are back on me, his expression the same. "But she saw that as me betraying her, hence, why I cannot leave my land. I would perish if so."

My brows scrunch together, my mind eager to devise a solution. "Are you certain there is no way to break your curse?"

He gets up, striding toward me, smiles, and rests his hands on my shoulders. "You are doing enough, Nara."

But what if it is not enough.

What if everything I am doing is going to be in vain.

"I hope you manage to free yourself one day," I say, my smile striving to forge the trust I so fear.

"I can only hope." He returns to his desk, my eyes grazing his movements before they land on the sun sketch atop his parchment.

"Might I ask you something else?" I say as he takes a seat and looks up at me. I gesture to the parchment. "I saw in one of the books I'd taken out at the library an imagery of the deity Solaris."

Dusan frowns, curiosity filtering through him at what I am saying.

"It looked like she was summoning animals." My head tips to the side. I haven't been able to find that book ever since that day. "What does that mean?"

"It is an old tale of how Solaris is supposed to be the bearer of all animals and nature, A..." He waves a nonchalant hand. "Connection to them, if you will, just how Crello is depicted as the ruler of the tides."

I have more questions than answers; all that has done is leave me wondering what it means. And even if I want to ask more, Dusan seems to end that topic as he returns to his pen and parchment.

I step back, nodding as unease creeps its way up my spine. When I turn to get to the door, Dusan says, "Oh, Nara."

My back is still turned to him as I look over my shoulder to see him writing.

"I'm not sure if you have heard, but an important event is coming up for us, Elves, this week."

I nod, my face a little sad as I recall something else that is coming up. "Yes, the celebration of Llerune."

He smiles at my knowledge over it and glances up. "I will be hosting a masquerade here for the evening." His eyes narrow into focus on me. "I do hope you will attend."

His hope sounds a lot like I have no choice. I'd be holed up in my chambers otherwise.

"I will be there," I say, walking out onto the hallway.

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