Page 74 of A City of Flames

The candles from the hallway light the feathers of his russet hair before he nods slowly. “Well, you must fear something at least.”

“Just because I don’t like the idea of fear doesn’t mean I don’t have it. I just don’t like showing it.” Or telling anyone of them. I tend to hide emotions, though, oftentimes I’ve let it get the best of me, if not always. Like anger. “What do you fear?”

“Losing,” he answers after mulling it over for a second.

“At what?” I muse. “Sparring against Rydan?”

Not even a hint of laughter in his face, my joking expression fading as he doesn’t look me in the eyes. “Losing things, I’ve valued in life.” He sighs sharply from his nose. “I’ve already lost a lot, some things to certain situations and others to someone—” He pauses with a wince, anger wavering through him.

“Someone?” I repeat, prompting him to try and say more.

His gaze darts up to meet mine in a fierce forest blaze. “Someone you could consider family.”

The way in which he says family shoots a quarrel through my chest. Nonetheless, I lean the side of my body up against the door frame and say softly, “family or no, we all lose something at one point, some more than others. It’s whether we grow from it or carry it with us for the rest of our lives.” Mine was always the latter—was...

That intensity in his eyes leaves, dialing down to his usual calmness until he looks at my thigh strap and chooses to change topics. “Are you going somewhere?”

My gaze goes wide as I stand straight. “No, I—”

“Trapping frogs?” His voice is a flicker of humor.

“Something like that,” I murmur. “But I realize it’s getting late—”

“Since when has that stopped you?”

Since a likelihood of death.

And now I realize it truly is stupid of me to go out currently searching for a dangerous creature.

It never stopped you before, a small voice in my head says, but I know the risk now goes beyond trapping a criminal or a rümen.

“I’m just exhausted from all the training,” I answer vaguely. Part of it is true.

“I see.” The edge of his lip turns downward. “Then I will leave you to rest, Miss Ambrose.”

I hope my grimace isn’t noticeable at the formal title he’s given me. There are moments he does it teasingly, as do I, moments where I’ve said it to him in a bid to stop anything going further, but now his is almost as if disappointed.

“Wait,” I say just as he’d turned to walk away. He faces me again, and I wave my gloved hand. “Thank you for the glove, it—” I take a breath. “—it means a lot.”

He curtly nods, hesitating on his feet before leaving me as I facepalm at the way I can’t handle a situation with someone I actually, for once, like.

* * *

The days went by quick and the Noctura ball came around, and its vision was remarkably breathtaking. Having been inside the castle, I’d never entered the throne room, and now, with the violins playing, people flood the hall, dancing in bright orange and yellow dresses.

Queen Sarilyn, on the other hand, overlooks everyone by the golden marble dais in a beautiful billowing red gown. It’s almost out of place not seeing her in her usual colors, and neither is she wearing the pendant.

But the gown she had gifted me is a delicacy I never thought I’d be able to wear. Nor is it to comfort with my usual tunics, corsets, and leggings. Layers of gold in glistening silk droop down to the floor, trailing behind me just like the off-shoulder sleeves, draping freely and showing my arms as I move them around to touch the sweetheart-cut bodice.

My hair cascades over my back in a half up half down that Freya clipped earlier with pearls and thin braids entwining within strands. Idris was the first to gape at how different I looked. He didn’t know what to make of it, neither did he fancy the fine yellow tunics he and my other brothers had to wear.

All in all, I liked the change, the feel of the dress, my rose-stained lips, and the shimmers Freya had dusted over my hair.

And now, loitering by the golden pillars of the hall, Iker mumbles how bored he is to Freya and Idris while Illias makes no comment, staring straight into the middle of the floor. I follow his gaze, finding that it’s not the floor he’s focused on. It’s Link gazing everywhere.

Unable to help my smile, I turn and nudge him. “Ask him to dance.”

That jerks Illias out of his daydream as his wide brown eyes shift to me. “Nara, I can’t possibly do that—”

---