Page 61 of A City of Flames

“Dancing around the question again, deputy?”

He huffs a short laugh, tipping his head back for a second. “It doesn’t matter what the general thinks when it comes to the queen.”

True, the queen has all the say in matters regarding the venators at the end of the day, and I want to say yes, I have to say yes. Dining with the queen means I’ll be closer to the pendant—to figuring out how to get it.

I wonder if perhaps Lorcan’s invite is fate gifted by Solaris or Crello, though pitiful of me to think that. It’s stealing. If anything, I should be punished for that by the two deities. Unless I’m already to be punished for the countless things I’ve done in my life.

Drawing in a breath and seeing it is my only chance, I accept. “I will see you tomorrow then.”

The edges of his lips rise at my answer, and I slide past him. “And—” I spin as Lorcan—having stayed in the same position—looks over his shoulder at me. “Thank you for also helping me with my brothers earlier.”

He dips his chin in a nod. “You don’t need to thank me, Nara.”

“But I want to.” I sigh, and I see that as my cue to turn and walk out of the stables, not knowing how I’d be able to sleep again.

Despite the anticipation of attending a meal at the castle, it came swiftly. I’d mentioned it to Freya within hours of what happened at the stable.

Flushing at the memory, I cough shortly, sitting by the footing of my bed as Freya runs her hands through my hair.

She’d insisted on helping me fix it, although there was no need since I’m still in the sleeveless leather attire. But I accepted anywise since I’ve never had a friend... no one to help me get ready, not even my mother would do my hair. Sometimes she’d brush it, complaining how my long locks always got tangled when I’d climb up trees to overlook the world.

“Your hair is golden like the sunsets over Emberwell, Nara,” Freya says, amazed as I stare at her kneeling behind me through the long mirror.

I smile. “My father thought the same thing. He’d always compliment it even when I’d show up with mud caked on it.”

She looks up, glancing at our reflection, and chuckles, shaking her head. “If only my father could give me one small compliment... at least once.”

My smile withers, hearing her hide the misery behind her words. For the cheerful person that is Freya, it’s hard to see her in any sorrowful state—which is not often.

“Your father is blind not to see what a wonderful daughter he has,” I say, and her hands cease within my locks as she looks at me with a cock of her head.

“You’re the first person to ever say that to me.”

“And I won’t be the last.”

A grin skims her lips as she resumes pinning my hair back in places. It’s quiet for a minute or two before a question pops into my mind, a question I’ve never even thought to ask my brothers despite knowing their answers.

“Can I ask you something, Freya?”

“That’s unusual,” she snorts, her mood rising again. “You never like asking me questions.”

A light chuckle surfaces from me as I drop my gaze to the floor. After a second, I inhale and say, “Have you ever experienced love with someone?”

I’ve wondered about love before, but I didn’t want to know what it felt like. I cared more about trapping and protecting my brothers, except now, I’ve grown curious since my time in the city.

Freya sighs as if thinking it over for a second. “Well... once I had a lover, during my time away from this all. He was my first for many things.”

I twist to face her. “What happened?”

She raises her brows, grabbing my shoulders, and turns me back around. “We never truly loved each other.” Her fingers collect the sides of my hair. “I was searching to find myself, and he didn’t care for that.”

My lashes lower, flittering over my skin as I wring my fingers together. It’s not an answer I expected from Freya. It makes me wonder how one knows when you love someone or when it is merely false feelings.

“I don’t regret it, though,” she adds, the joyful tone in her voice a mismatch to the current topic. “It taught me a lot. Now I just hope I meet the right person.”

I don’t give an immediate response; actually, I don’t give anything at all. The concept of love is something I find uncertain.

“All done.” Freya pats the sides of my arms. “Now, these are my favorite hairpieces, and I usually don’t give them out to anyone! But I must say they look gorgeous on you, Nara.”

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