Page 132 of A City of Flames

I let out an incredulous breath, shaking my head. “You should have thought about that when you lied to me about what kind of person you really are… the general has you in this tight hold that I just don’t—”

He doesn’t meet my eyes as he says solemnly, “He’s the only one who’s been there for me since I was fourteen.”

He still trusts in him. “Been there for you?” I repeat, feeling whatever I say will be in vain. “He uses you as his weapon, Lorcan.”

He falls into silence. Maybe he does know, maybe he doesn’t want to admit to it himself.

I sigh deeply, my eyes roaming every part of him until it stops at his hand. Heavily scarred, rough even upon my skin whenever he’d touch me. “Is that how he turned you?” I ask, despite my feelings over what he’s done, my question is gentle.

He looks at me and I motion my chin to his hand. He lifts it, giving it a thorough stare before he nods. “Back when he could shift, he couldn’t control it, I walked in here when he was trying to chain himself…” He lowers his arm and it’s like he can’t finish the rest.

“And you were there at the wrong time,” I conclude.

He nods again, tearing his gaze away.

It doesn’t change anything. When I look at him all I can think is how he’s the one who attacked us, attacked me.

“Tell me about your time with Darius when you were kids,” I say quietly, wanting to know where it all went so wrong. His eyes shoot up at me, a dark flicker of rage pulses through them but I don’t falter from it. “Please?”

It’s enough of a beg for his gaze to soften and he takes a long deep breath. For a brief moment, I begin to think he won’t say anything until… “We didn’t have much growing up. My father was turning blind and so I was always the one providing. Darius was never allowed to go out but some days I would sneak him out, and he’d be so fascinated by everything he’d end up stealing it.”

An unwanted smile escapes me. A thief from the start.

“My father never liked that though. He’d punish Darius far too often, but despite it all, Darius continued to rebel, seek anything that was fun to him, always telling me every single wish he’d have on Noctura night.”

A twitch of a smile tugs on his lips before he masks it. How so much hatred stemmed from one thing I won’t understand. So, I bite my lip and ask the question I haven’t been able to decipher since I’d found out. “Why did he kill your father?”

He exhales roughly from his nose as if he knew I’d ask that. “I—I don’t know,” he says, his gaze bleak and far away. “I was out the whole day but when I came back, I found my father violently coughing blood and in agonizing pain. He was holding onto his arm and saying, ‘the dragon did it.’’ I hadn’t even realized Darius was peeking out from behind the wall at the far corner of the room until I’d looked up. And when I confronted him, he would only shake his head. I was so terrified, angry and—” His lips pinch together as he thinks of the word. “—Confused that I told him to leave but his powers started getting out of control at that moment, burning everything, the walls, the tables… and while I managed to get my father out, it didn’t take long for him to die in my arms from the bite.”

I’m not sure what to say, what to think. They were so young back then. Brothers, a family that ended in tragedy. “And Darius?”

His gaze jumps back to me, empty. “He ran away.”

Our eyes stay on one another, and I can tell there’s more to it that he won’t explain.

“Have you considered that perhaps it wasn’t all his fault?” I know it’s something I shouldn’t say when I wasn’t there to witness it, when before I’d believed Darius could do that for no reason at all other than him being a shifter. When Lorcan stares at me like he can’t believe what I’m saying, I blurt out, “you had good memories together, he even seems—”

“Seems what Nara?” His voice takes on a cruel edge before he shakes his head at my silence and a muscle flickers under his jaw. “The general was right, of course you would defend him.”

I can only widen my eyes at him with disbelief. “Are you listening to yourself?” I throw him a look of frustration. “The general this, the general that… whatever lies and nonsense he’s fed you, you accept it so easily.”

His brows furrow, vexation sparks off him like he chooses not to think any differently.

“He tried to turn me into what you are.” I approach the bars and clutch my hands around the cool steel. “And who is to say he won’t come down here and try it again?”

“He wouldn’t—” He releases a tense breath and amends his words. “I wouldn’t let that happen to you.” His hand reaches to touch mine around the bar. My first response is to jerk my hand back, the rough touch of his fingers on mine lingers on my skin like an unwanted presence.

His gaze turns pleading just like last night, how he’d mentioned he loved me. I step back even further, curling my fingers on my chest.

“If this is what your idea of love is supposed to be.” My throat tightens the more we stare at each other, and I whisper, “then I do not want it, nor will I ever accept it.”

I spot the change in his eyes, the hurt flaring in them as his hand lowers from the bar. He nods once like he understands but he doesn’t. I don’t think he ever will unless he realizes what kind of person the general really is.

Just leave, my gaze says, and he complies, pausing by the fire torch. He looks off to the side and clenches his fist before becoming nothing but a silhouette as he walks out.

“Word of advice Ambrose?” Adriel says after a minute or so of me standing here, staring at the ember flames of the torch. I don’t say anything back. “Unless it’s Crello itself, don’t fall in love.”

His tone is a weak tease, maybe to make himself—make me feel better.

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