Page 107 of A City of Flames

“Is that such a crime?” He snickers, and my brow flickers upward because it is exactly that—a crime. “Kidding, Goldie.”

Sending him a sharp smile, I say, “Goodbye, Darius.” And head past him, remembering the route back to the city when his hand grips mine.

“Wait,” he says, and fingertips graze my skin as I turn to him. He’s not smiling. In fact, any trace of amusement is long gone. “Are you really going to return to them?”

Did he want me to stay with him? “I—” A sigh. “I have friends there who most likely think I’ve perished.” I glance at the ground and shake my head. “I have my brothers thinking I’m going to follow in my father’s footsteps and become a venator, there’s just too much going on.” Closing my eyes, I reach for the crescent again and then stare at it.

“You seem awfully fond of that carving,” Darius then says, his voice a soft caress with the wind.

I drag a breath in, the carving warming under my palm. “It’s been my source of luck for years now. It belongs to—”

“Lorcan.”

My eyes shoot up to Darius. He’s staring at my hand while I frown at how he’d guessed that. After I’d almost said Lorcan’s name, he must have assumed.

And he’s not wrong as he gestures a finger to it. “One of their greatest wishes was to unite and dance among the stars.” His focus goes back on me. “Solaris and Crello, it’s what my mother used to say.”

A smile tickles my lips, but I don’t show it as I let my eyes roam the crescent, the polished oak that even after years it looks like it’d been carved yesterday.

“For no love greater shared than the moon and the sun,” I echo my own mother’s words and shove the carving in my sheath.

My shoulders lift as I inhale, and the next few seconds go by so silently until he asks, “Is a venator what you truly want to be?”

Years ago, anyone could have asked me that, and my answer would always be yes. I’d begged Idris to the point he’d gain headaches from just hearing me speak of it.

And now it’s the hardest answer I can give.

“I don’t want to discuss this right now. I’ve been gone long enough.” My eyes flit to the left.

“When then?” Frustration suddenly taints his voice. “Every second points to you not trusting Sarilyn, not even your own people, and I know the person I first met at the jewelers wouldn’t give up so easily. She would fight to win.”

I flinch at his words, not because I’m offended but because he is right. “I don’t give up.” My head snaps to him, and the defensive walls barricade me once again. Before he can say something, I’m already raising my arms in the air and slamming them down at the sides. “Did you expect we’d get here, and I’d tell you to take me back to your house? Play pretend dead for a little while longer? I mean, why does it matter if I become one or not? You were more than happy to tell me I was just an asset to you. You’re supposed to hate me just how I am supposed to hate your kind for killing my father, yet it turns out they never did!”

Stop, stop, stop.

I don’t.

“I’ve spent so long believing your kind is what killed him, and all my life I remember, the only thing I wanted to be was someone who could fight off dragons, protect the city and help my brothers. I dreamed of becoming a warrior for years, yet it took a few months for everything I’d ever thought to change.”

Darius just looks at me, processing my rant, my outburst at the aggravation I have over this, over everything. I find myself pinching my lips together and my brows furrowing the more he stays quiet. He always has something to joke about, to tease, to flirt, to annoy.

Joke, tease, flirt, annoy me for Solaris’s sake.

I run my hands over my face. “I don’t know what I’m doing here. I shouldn’t even be with you right now or ever. Every day is leading up to those trials, and I just—”

“Then complete them,” at last, he speaks up, and I freeze. His words shoot me like an arrow, splintering right through my heart.

“What?” I breathe.

“Complete the trials and become a venator,” he says it tight enough that I’m convinced his jaw will break. “You keep hesitating to make a decision, so make it easier for yourself, choose the one thing you’ve always wanted to be.”

I shake my head. “It’s not so simple—”

“After all, you’re right. I do think of you only as an asset to me. Maybe I thought for one moment you had it in you to help us. A way for shifters to go free without risking myself.”

I bite back my immediate vexation as he lifts a shoulder haphazardly. “Liar,” I whisper just like he’d done to me back at the den, except I can’t contain how I grit my teeth at him. “Liar. You can’t even look at me.”

His eyes flicker up and bore into me. Even against the dark skies, the moon manages to flash through the gold in them. He reaches for my hand and lays it flat on his chest. “You’re just an asset to me,” He repeats carefully, and I watch his expression never change as the beats of his heart are slow and steady under my palm. “Am I lying now, Goldie?”

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