It’s almost as if in this one kiss, we are committing to so much more than a good tumbling.

That we are committing our very souls to each other.

A silent promise that neither one of us dare say out loud.

The rest of our day goes remarkably how it began.

Me trying to show Katrina the ways of the land by taking her into the city, only for her to grow impatient and pull me into some back alley or hide us behind some tree or bush just so we can fuck the hunger out of us.

But instead of simmering down our lust with each stolen kiss or manic fuck, we only seem to crave each other more. But it’s those precious, fleeting moments we share, when we’re all spent and our masks slip off that really do a number on me.

It almost has me believing that falling in…

All too soon, when those words start to bloom in my heart and threaten to take root, I am reminded why Katrina of Bratsk represents everything I hate.

“Oh, the gods!” She gasps, letting go of my hand to run to the fountain statue in front of us.

After we’ve had our fill of the cobblestone streets of my city, Kat was adamant that she needed to see my garden, as if that was the most important place a castle could have.

I wasn’t as excited to come here.

Exactly for the reason that lies tall in the middle of my spring garden, a statue dedicated to the memory of my father and mother.

Kat tilts her head to the side, her gray eyes drinking in every little inch of the marble. Her gaze wanders over the statue, marveled by how the artist was able to grasp my father’s likeness in such a way that feels like he’ll move. How my mother looks serene sitting in her favorite chair, her fingers entwining with my father’s on her shoulder. It is the way my mother lovingly looks up at him, that shared glance between them that makes me miss them that much more.

Katrina’s awe quickly morphs into grief. She then turns to face me with that same look in her eyes that my mother once held, reminding me what a beautiful liar she’s become.

“I always felt guilty that they died,” she has the gall to say. “They were always so lovely with me. Your mother always had a kind word for me, and your father treated me with the same respect he would a boy. Not many in court did. I loved them dearly. And I’m sorry.”

“Are you now?” I spit out, my nostrils flaring.

She nods sheepishly, her gaze falling back to the two people I loved most in the entire world until her kind stole them from me.

“I am.” She sighs. “Sometimes I replay the last day you and your family came to visit us. How your mother wouldn’t leave until she said goodbye to mine. My father gave explicit instructions that no one go into my mother’s chambers, but they were such close friends, I didn’t have the heart to refuse her.”

I grab her forearm and spin her around to look at me.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” I snap, my hold on her arm a little tighter than she’s used to.

Her gaze looks confused as she stares up at me. But not more confused than I am at this present state.

“The ailment, Levi. The sickness that took my mother from me was the same that killed your parents. I thought you knew this,” she explains, shame and guilt written all over her face. “It was me, Levi. I’m the reason why they died. Your mother must have caught the same disease mine had been infected with. And when you left, she must have unknowingly spread the disease to Teo’s mother and Atlas’s too. Don’t you see? If I had been strong and held my father’s order, they would all be alive. It was because of me.”

I cringe at each word that falls through her lying lips. And when she lifts her hand to cup my cheek, I flinch away.

“You’ll never forgive me, will you?”

I say nothing.

Not when she continues to play this game with me.

This cruel, grotesque game.

“I know that apologizing for my actions will never bring them back. I know that. But I was young. I had no idea the risk I was taking. I thought I was doing your mother and mine a kindness. I swear to you.”

I turn around and close my eyes, not even being able to look at her.

After all we’ve done today, for her to come up with such a fabricated lie, a lie that I’m sure has been told a thousand times for all of the north to believe, taints every perfect moment we shared.