Page 54 of Together We Rot

She continues as if it’s nothing. “Your past is a reversed Ten of Cups. Yada yada, broken family life. Funny you flipped this because the original way means ‘happy home.’ Clearly not the case with you. Then we come to the future, the Fool.”

“Why does the deck hate me?”

That gets a smirk out of her. “New beginnings,” she corrects. “It means you’ve got to take a leap toward something. You’re stuck, but you need to make a choice. Choosing is imperative. Next comes your advice card, if you’ll take it. The reversed Eight of Swords. You need to revisit... something, now that you can see your issues clearly.”

“And then the outcome?” I ask, staring down at the very last card. The Tower looks like the worst one yet. It’s exactly what it says it is, a tower, only there’s a bolt of lightning hitting the top and people are quite literally falling to their death out of the open window.

“Disaster. By the end of this, everything will change. Your life won’t be the same.”

Cherry’s words stay with me as I walk down the stairs. The candles light my path, guiding me to the guest room with a trail of dancing orange flames.

Everything ends soon. The cards said as much. It all ends in chaos and flames, my body no longer my body at all. The death of my life and the start of another. The demon overtaking me.

I crane my neck into the basement. The room is painted floor to ceiling in red. Lace curtains dripping down to the floor like blood, a vanity curling in on itself like it’s got a pair of horns, red-stained paintings of flower petals and Victorian-era dresses. It’s almost claustrophobic.

And, of course, Wil isn’t asleep. She sits on the foot of the bed, her eyes hard and expectant. “Well? What did she say?”

“I’m dangerous.” My voice breaks in my throat—I’ve pulled the stitch too far and now I am unraveling at the seams. “But we knew that already. Running away was a mistake, Wil. Something bad is going to happen soon. Something really, really bad, and you know what? There’s no stopping it.” I force the next words out of a painfully dry throat: “What if I go back?”

She jumps to her feet and stalks toward me, her finger wedging between my ribs. “Your family wants to kill you, El. Or did you forget that?”

El. I haven’t heard that in so long.

My voice comes out in a half sob, a broken hiccup of a noise that bleeds with frustration. “Maybe for good reason. I’m dangerous. You know that.” Black talons stroke my thoughts, tracing teasing patterns. The demon’s fetid breath whispers in my ear, reminding me that we are one.

“What the hell did Cherry tell you?”

My fingers are no longer twitching but outright shaking. “She read my cards. They were bad, Wil, really bad. Probably as bad as the deck could even get. But that’s hardly what matters. You saw what I did to your motel. You were scared of me. You can’t deny that.”

She blanches white. “Your life is worth more than whatever a bunch of cards have to say. And about the motel... that wasn’t you. At least, not the real you. This isn’t over yet.”

“It’s been over from the start. Like I’ve told Kevin and Lucas, my life has never been a choice. It’s been laid out by my parents since birth. It only makes sense that fate’s got a hand in it too.” My head feels heavier, so I bury it in the palms of my hands. I taste the salt of my sweat trickling down my face. “I should be used to it by now, but I’m not. I’ve never stopped dreaming of a normal life. I’ve never been to a football game, a dance, anything. I go home and study for hours, and for what? I don’t get to go to college! I don’t get to go off and do anything. I’m whatever creature my parents want me to be.”

“None of those things would make you normal,” Wil interjects, her face twisting into a grimace. “Normal doesn’t exist—”

“What do you know?” The words slip out before I can swallow them back. They escape through the cracks in my teeth. I clamp a hand over my mouth, but I’m unable to shut myself up. There’s that temper again. I’m not used to my words flying out like that. I’ve always sat and simmered on every sentence, but now my deepest thoughts fly free. “I didn’t mean that—I’m sorry—”

When she speaks again, her voice is venomous enough to send me stumbling back. “Is it normal for your mother to be murdered? Is it normal for your best friend to leave you when you need him most? Is it normal to care about him even though you should hate him?”

My voice finds me again after a minute. “You said you hated me. You said what happened back there with us meant nothing.”

“I lied,” she hisses back. “Believe me, I don’t want it to. It would make everything so much easier. I just... can’t do it.”

She steps forward; I step back. Don’t get any closer.

I can’t let myself get sucked into this. There’s no staying here, not when there’s a monster inside me. Not when staying spells disaster.

“Please, Wil.” My eyes roam over her. Limbs as snappable as twigs, the delicate flesh of her throat—easily ripped out by the muzzle of a beast. “I don’t want you to get hurt. I... I think I—” Love you.

My world shifts with the truth. It’s existed inside me for so long, but I’d smothered it deep down. Now that it’s in the air, I’ve become vulnerable. I feel like my heart is no longer within my ribs but growing from the outside. It’s Wil’s for the taking. She could pluck it off me and sink her teeth into it if she wished. I have become so very vulnerable.

My chest stings with her nearness. It hurts to breathe the same air. I don’t trust myself. There’s a storm brewing in my veins and she could get swept away in it easily. I could ruin her.

But how easy it would be to lose myself. To close the gap and let her do whatever she wants. To not be good, but to be whatever she wants me to be.

“We shouldn’t,” I whisper, but it’s directed less at her and more at the quivering sensation deep within me. The lingering sensation of sin. I shouldn’t be doing this. I’ve spent years trying to shove this feeling down, only for it to rear its ugly head again and again. I’ve never been able to stomp it out. “It’s da—”

“If you say ‘dangerous’ one more time, I’m going to lose it,” she snarls. Her body is pressed to mine, hard and fierce and too much. Way too much. I need her closer. I need her far, far away. “I was scared back at the house, you’re right, but I... I’m not anymore, El. I know you. I’ve known you forever.”

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