Page 104 of 1 Last Shot

I expect him to sigh his frustration again, but to my surprise, he frowns. In confusion. In anger.

"Because that's what families do," he answers slowly. Weighing his words, and my reaction.

My reaction, which is a blank stare.

The reason for my reaction must click, because Jax's expression shifts instantly to sympathy. But before I can flip out at him for his pity and throw up my walls, he says quickly, "Look, forget what youthinkfamilies and gyms and teammates are supposed to look like.I'mtelling you that we look out for each other. And I don't give a fuck if it's one-sided and you never give a shit about any of us. Because that's not why we do it. We won't bail you out when things get rough because we expect something in return, we do it because we look out for our own and don't leave each other stranded. Becausethat'swhat being in our gym is about. Andthat'sthe kind of family we've built inside of it."

I… don't understand. Jax's words sing in my head on repeat, but they don't make any more sense on the third pass than they did on the first.

I've never had anyone give a shit about me before. And definitely not a group of people all at once, none of which I've ever helped enough to deserve this kind of response. I'm a fuckup. An asshole. I'm the last person people should be sticking their necks out for.

And yet… one look at Jax tells me he's being 100% honest with me. He's not lying in order to manipulate or fuck with me, he's just… telling it like it is. He's telling me he cares if I live, or if I rot in a jail cell.

"I've never—" I start, but have to swallow the rock in my throat before I can continue. "I've never had…" This time I trail off, physically unable to get the words out.

"I know," Jax says roughly. And in that moment, I'm grateful for him, for seeing through me and not making me say it out loud. "But you'll get used to it."

I can only nod numbly.

"Isabella's part of that family, too," Hailey says quietly.

When her words register, my stomach drops and I feel like I want to vomit again.

Because she's right.Isabellawas the first one to give a shit about me. With her, I’ve had a family.

"Did you talk to her?" I force myself to ask, even though I'm terrified of her answer. Of what she might have told Hailey.

Hailey's expression takes on a look of pity. She shakes her head in answer.

"Not since class yesterday. So, nothing about this." She hesitates, then asks, "Was she… with you last night? Did she see anything?"

I try to swallow down the bitter taste of regret and bile, and focus instead on sorting through my memories before the blackout.

My mom showing up at my apartment. Her threatening Isabella. The pain and fear sending me to the bar with Isabella, where that piece of shit hit on her—

I slam back to the moment when my memories cut off at being hauled out of the bar.

"Yeah," I croak. "She was there."

Hailey and Jax exchange worried glances. "Does she know you ended up here?" Hailey asks hesitantly.

I'm numb. I have no emotions. This can't be happening.

"Yeah," I answer.

"You should talk to her," she says quietly.

"I don't think I can," I say, the words tasting like acid. Hating the idea that last night might have finally driven Isabella away from me.

Because clearly, she left me at some point. Whether she tried to save me from the arrest or not, at some point she left. And left me here. Not that I blame her.

"You have to try," Hailey says. "You can't leave it like this. Shecaresabout you, Kane. More than you probably realize."

"She doesn't," I say automatically. Mechanically. "She can't. She deserves so much better than me. Thanthis."

Another look of sympathy enters Hailey's eyes. But unlike when it happened with Jax, I don't immediately feel murderous. I just feel… sad.

Sad that I drive everyone away. Sad that when Idoopen up, I'm met with pity.

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