Page 6 of Hawke

Finally satisfied that I’d stood up for myself, I quickly exited his office and shut the door behind me. Then, I hurried to the entrance of the club and fled from the building.

4 – HAWKE

The door shut with a snick. Of all the women I’d ever expected to run into again, and in Denver of all places, she wasn’t the one. Over the years, I’d made it a rule to maintain complete anonymity with every submissive at the club.Don’t ask, don’t tell.That’d been the constant since my earlier days in the lifestyle. I didn’t just want things that way; I needed them to be.

Raking my hands through my hair, I thought back to that night. It hadn’t been that long ago, perhaps around a year. I’d gotten ready for a scene the same way I had any other before it. I’d been sitting at my desk, much like I was right now when there’d been a knock.

“Come in,”I’d told the dungeon monitor on duty that evening.

The younger guy had entered.“There’s a submissive waiting for you.”

I had given a curt nod.“Is the contract signed and all hard limits listed?”

The younger man, known around the club as Brim, had nodded.“Shall I get her prepared?”

“Yes,”I had told him as I grabbed the paperwork the man held out to me.“I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

Brim had exited the office, leaving me to examine the paperwork, including the form that listed any and all hard limits. One thing that had stuck out to me was that there were hardly any items marked off on the list. It appeared tonight’s submissive was adventurous. She’d even baited me in the comment section by hastily scribbling three words.

Do your worst!

My grin had broadened, my lips curling into a sadistic smile. I scanned the rest of the document where she’d mentioned previous experience in the lifestyle. She could be any of the women I’d often seen leaving the club as I watched the streets below from my office. As co-owner of The Box, I’d spent many of my days and nights at the club. Other than the dungeon monitors on staff, most of the other members had no idea who I was, which was the way I preferred for it to be.

There was no intimacy in what I did. I rejected such a preposterous idea. The lifestyle itself was an anchor in the sea for me. I needed to maintain my center, so I didn’t succumb to the darkness inside me. When in a scene with a submissive, the power fueled me like nothing else in my life ever would. The moment was one between me and some faceless woman. Two people using one another to find sexual gratification. I’d never known the female, at least not until now.

“This is just fucking great,” I said out loud, stating the obvious.

I had no idea how to handle this situation. When I’d kissed her full lips and she melted against me, I’d wanted to strip her out of her clothes, then take her right there against the heavy doorframe.

But I couldn’t, and after seeing her face and those sky-blue eyes, I’d never be able to even entertain the idea of it now. I knew that, but it didn’t stop the thought from crossing my mind. Unfortunately, my past had dictated my future many years ago.

I scowled as a different set of memories came rushing back. These, however, were ones better left buried. There was no way in hell I’d relive that again. So many years had passed since then, and as I sat alone in my office, I was reminded once again that time didn’t heal all wounds.

Mine remained the same with every day that passed. No matter how hard and often I pushed those memories aside, they always seemed to come back with a vengeance, and at the most inopportune times. Even now, I could hear those voices, some low, but others shrill and high-pitched, calling out to me.

I balled my fists before raising and slamming one of those down on the mahogany desk top. My breathing hitched as a crushing pressure built in my chest. My heart rate sped up and those voices… they kept on calling my name.

“Hawke.” Keeping my eyes closed, I shook my head rapidly from side to side, trying to silence them. “Hawke.” Once again, my focus remained on ridding my brain of the noise when the voice changed from the nasally ones that haunted my nightmares to a more familiar one. “Hawke!”

My eyes flew open and I saw Ayden Santiago standing in the doorway of my office. The detective was obviously concerned, but before he could ask me what was wrong, I spoke. “May I help you?”

The dark-haired officer moved inside my office, and that’s when I noticed the paperwork in his hand. “I’ve brought over a few things for you to sign. Is now a bad time?”

I shook my head, then motioned to the chair in front of him. When the detective took his seat, I grabbed the papers, skimming over the details before grabbing a pen. “Where is Garrett now?”

Ayden didn’t immediately respond until I looked up from the paperwork, arching my brow. “Once this is filed and the trespassing charges are dropped, we’ll call his family to pick him up from the station.”

“Very well,” I replied before crossing the last T on the page. “And has his home been checked out by Children’s Protective Services?”

I knew all too well what would happen to the kid once released. Whatever trials and tribulations led the kid to the desperate behavior he’d exhibited a few nights ago, they would send him back on the same path. Ignoring a problem wasn’t the solution to solve it, and I’d learned that the hard way back in my own youth.

“Yes, we’ll be sending someone out there to check things out.” The detective paused, and I heard him take a deep breath before asking, “If you don’t mind me asking, why are you so invested in this kid?”

I shrugged my shoulders at the question. “Let’s just say I recognize a lot of myself in him. I want to help the kid instead of pushing him deeper into the juvenile court system.”

I knew I might be wrong, but that was a risk I was willing to take. Having been in and out of the Virginia foster care system myself, I knew how easy it was for someone to turn a blind eye to what was going on around them. It wasn’t that most people didn’t care, I’d just learned over the years that they thought ignoring the problem would make it somehow go away.

There were things I’d experienced in my life that no one should ever have to go through, but luckily for me, I’d gotten through them and persevered despite my circumstances. Being in that world, I only needed to turn on any news station in the country to know that so many others did not.

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