Page 19 of Hawke

That’s exactly what it was like. I’d been nervous when filling out the paperwork, half afraid I’d put the wrong thing down. I obviously answered correctly because I was then led into a room so unlike all the others I had been in previously. I should’ve tucked tail and run, but my curiosity won out my fear because I’d disrobed and allowed the dungeon monitor to cuff me to the large cross in the center of the room.

The blindfold had come next, then silence. It was that way for a while, several minutes, at least. Anticipation had eaten away at me. With my sight cut off, my other senses were in overdrive. It was almost surreal, and not anything I’d ever experienced before, even in the few weeks prior to that night.

Touch.The first that I had experienced outside of the obvious coolness of the cross, and unyielding metal of the cuffs, was the frigid air that blew across my skin from the air conditioner right overhead. It caressed me softly, unlike the lover I awaited. From the tales I’d heard, he was anything but gentle. Perhaps that was the reason I was there.

Sound.It was simple enough, but I had been so nervous when first entering the room that by the time the blindfold was wrapped around my face, I couldn’t recall anything else around me. A shiver had wracked my frame. The silence in the room was deafening. The seconds ticked away, one by one.

Helplessness had filled me the longer I stood there. My breathing grew erratic, and between the deep heaves of each breath, multiple thoughts filled my head. Nervousness… anticipation… fear… They all heeded the same result. My pulse quickened, the pounding in my ear now beating like a drum.

Sound.I was back to it once again as the door creaked open. I wanted to call out to whoever was there, but I wasn’t sure I even wanted to know. My skin was now coated in a thin sheen of perspiration, the dampness allowing the cuffs to move ever so slightly as my wrists jangled. My breath hitched in my throat, but I remained quiet.

Rubber boots had scraped across the concrete floor below my feet as the heavy footsteps grew nearer. The room was small and compact. I could still remember seeing the pieces of furniture scattered throughout. That visual had come back to me in that moment, too. The walls of the room were lined with shelves which housed a number of different items. I’d not gotten a close enough look as to what they were, but I could probably guess correctly. I’d been so thrown off by the instructions from the dungeon monitor that I had quickly stripped and positioned myself the way he’d asked.

Touch.I had nearly jumped out of my skin when my mystery Dom placed his hand below my neck. One second… two seconds… three seconds… four. A shiver of apprehension bloomed within me as he drew his hand back, then slid two fingers down my chest. I had moistened my bottom lip with my tongue before everything fell apart.

“P-please,” I had stammered. Everything went silent, so much so that I could’ve heard a pin drop. Before he could speak, I heard my name.

“Char! Earth to Charlotte.” My eyes flew open.

Emery waved her hands in front of me, and it took a few seconds for the haze to disappear. “I’m here. I was just thinking about something.”

I didn’t dare elaborate on where my mind had traveled back to. It was bad enough that the memories hadn’t left me in over a year, but it would’ve been a lot worse to share that mortification for that long with someone else.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Emery asked. Her concern was warranted, but I forced myself to smile as I nodded. “Alright, then look at this red number I’ve brought for you.”

I looked at the lacy, red dress that resembled lingerie more than a gown. I couldn’t wear that, not tonight. Shaking my head, I looked over Emery’s shoulder and didn’t hate the second selection from what I could see of it.

“Let me try that one on,” I told her, then hurried into my bathroom with it. With any luck, I would find something suitable that would meet my best friend’s approval so we could finish getting ready. Tonight was a very important night, and I didn’t intend to mess it up as I had my last anticipated one with Hawke.

13 – HAWKE

Standing in the corner just feet from the entrance, I observed the partygoers as they entered Syn. They were all dressed in their black-tie formal wear, donning some of the most exquisite masks I had ever seen before. Masquerade balls had been around since the fifteenth century, never losing their popularity throughout the years.

They evolved over the course of that time, and I was glad I’d chosen it as the theme for the grand opening of my club. Doing what countless others had done before me, I made sure to add my own twist to this style of party. The gala was invitation only, and every invitee had been properly vetted beforehand. This was the first visible club of its kind in the area, so everything needed to be done with a member’s privacy in mind.

I had been to other BDSM clubs across the country, most taking places in random locations under a veil of secrecy. The Box had been slightly different from those parties. You also needed a membership to gain admittance to it, but they also offered guest packages and other options for those just passing through or exploring their own curiosities. The club area itself was beneath a warehouse. Unless you were in the know, most never knew what existed in the basement of that building. It’d been there that I felt most at home.

Syn would one day feel like one to me, too. I had my personal dungeon already set up where and how I wanted it, and I also managed to pull a few of the dungeon monitors from The Box, convincing them to relocate to Colorado with me. It was easier to pay moving expenses than to train others on what I preferred for myself.

“Damn, Hawke, I’m not used to seeing you out front. Is this something new?” Ryder asked me.

“Not usually, man,” I answered truthfully. Back in Washington, D.C., I hardly ever ventured out with the general public. I hadn’t wanted to risk my voice being recognized, or theirs.

The majority of the time, I’d gag a submissive when in a scene with one. I had never been interested in hearing their voices, not that I’d truly be able to even if I tried. The ones from my past were so persistent, and they echoed in my head pretty frequently. There wasn’t a day gone by when I wasn’t reminded of that time.

Shame filled me every time that I did. I supposed it was another reason I normally kept a submissive gagged. Pleasure and pain. One was separated from the other by the thinnest of lines. It’d taken me years to differentiate between the two, and the only way I could was to…

“The place turned out great,” Ryder stated. I pushed those thoughts away, then nodded in agreement. “Who knew there were so many kinky people in Denver?”

I chuckled in response. It wasn’t that far-fetched to believe, especially since I had done my due diligence when choosing a location for Syn. Most of the major metropolitan hubs were too far away, and an established brick and mortar club would garner a lot of business as opposed to those in town having to go to various parties whose locations changed with the weather.

I’d been able to advertise under the radar, and the membership turnout had been amazing so far. There were at least a hundred people in the club already, and several more filing in. Each man was dressed to the nines in their custom suits. Their dates were equally as decked out. Many of the women wore long gowns and had different types of masks.

I had been watching each person that walked through the doors, my mind fixated on a blonde I still had yet to erase from my head. Charlotte Maxwell. Simply the thought of her fucked with my iron-clad control. I had erected so many walls around myself since a young age, and she continuously managed to crack them. It wouldn’t be long before they came crashing down altogether.

I won’t allow it. I just can’t.

“Can’t allow what, Hawke?” Ryder questioned. It was then I’d realized I must’ve spoken my thoughts aloud.

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