Page 63 of Hawke

Charlotte was standing there, and she looked nervous, but before I could even greet her, she smiled wearily at me. “You know you really suck at this love thing, right?”

I stood rooted in place for a few brief seconds until her words set in. They repeated in my head until finally, she stepped forward. That was the only sign I needed. Pulling her into my arms, I kicked the door shut behind her.

“Charlotte,” I rasped a moment before lowering my head.

When my lips touched hers, it was electric. I’d missed her so badly, and I thought I would never get a chance to speak to, much less touch her, but now she was in my arms, sliding her tongue into my mouth. Charlotte’s arms came up around me as I walked her back to the door. Pinning her against it, I began to kiss her with all the emotion I’d withheld from her in the past.

I was no longer controlled by the voices from the past. All I wanted and needed was currently molding herself against me. My tongue slid alongside hers, tangling in an intimate tug-of-war I knew I would win. Her body surrendered to me so beautifully, just as it always had, but for once, I wanted and needed more. Despite knowing that, I found it incredibly difficult to pull away from her, so the kiss went on until she eventually pushed at my chest with her small hands.

We were breathing heavily when I did step back, never taking my eyes off her. Charlotte was the epitome of beauty. Although the bruising had disappeared, I knew the scars would likely always be there because mental ones were always the hardest to get rid of. It was something I was living proof of. Despite what I suspected she felt though, the innocence I had always been so drawn to was still there.

“What took you so long?” she asked me, and I knew exactly what she meant.

“I wanted to give you some time,” I told her, leaving off the indefinite part. “You told your brothers you didn’t want to see me anymore, so I tried giving you space.”

“I did, at the time. You never came back for me, though.”

Her voice echoed her hurt, and there had even been a hint of an accusation in there. I knew what she meant, and why she felt that way. If I had known she had actually wanted to see me, nothing would have stood in the way of getting to her. It had taken me seeing her on the ground with her life slipping away to finally stop fighting what I felt for her. If I had only done that sooner...

“The longer I’ve gone without you, the more I had to accept whatever this was between us was over,” I continued, and I had, but it was the hardest fucking thing I had ever done. While I had set her free, I hated every damn second of it. She was here now, though, and I had no intentions of letting her leave. Finally, I added, “I’ve never experienced anything like this before, so I followed the golden rule of—”

She laughed, the sound cutting me off. “Since when do men like you follow the rules? I thought you made them and could break them.”

I smirked, then pulled her into my arms again, this time answering with my actions instead of words. I fused my mouth back to hers, picking back up where we had just left off. Charlotte melded her luscious body against me once more, and I felt my cock swell in response. My hands began to explore those curves I’d only been able to dream about for the last month, and they felt so much better than my memory.

The urge to strip her naked so I could bury myself so deep inside her was strong, but I didn’t want her to think I only missed her for the sex. It was then that I remembered the hurtful things I had said to her once before about her inability to please me. There was no way I could take her to bed again, and let her even suspect any of that bullshit was true. That meant I would need to tell her about the rest of my past, hoping she wouldn’t view me any differently.

Once again pulling away, this time I took her hand and led her over to the bed. Charlotte looked at me in question, especially when I didn’t even make an attempt to take either of our clothing off. I sat on the edge, then motioned for her to sit in the chair across from me.

“Before we go any further, little sub, I need to tell you the truth about myself. You already know who and what I am, now I need to explain the why.”

She nodded, then clutched the hand I extended out to her. My mouth was suddenly dry as if I’d just swallowed cotton, but I forced myself to speak. It wasn’t something I was used to sharing with anyone, so I didn’t even know where to start, eventually deciding on the beginning.

As I gave her a very high overview of what I’d endured as a child, I could see her growing more emotional. It almost made me stop because I’d promised myself that I would never hurt her again, and my words were evidently doing that. That’d be taking the easy way out though, so I continued on about the buyers, then the other women who used me, too. I also briefly touched upon the foster homes I’d been placed in, and the subsequent cutting before getting to the part that’d affected her the most. I’d done so, though, making sure she knew the reasons why I would never want to look at, or hear, the women I’d fucked. Finally, I pulled my hand away from hers.

“And that’s basically been my fucked up life. I’m sorry if I led you to believe something differently before. It was just easier to push you away than to allow myself to open up to you. For what it’s worth, these last four weeks, I’ve regretted every second of it.”

I finally stopped talking when I realized she’d barely said anything during my entire spiel. When I had detailed the abuse, I knew she’d been trying to comprehend it all. Her expressions were so transparent, but the more I carried on, the less certain I was about what she felt. Emotions were things I’d never even tried to understand because it was something I never showed. From a young age, I had learned to hide my weaknesses because the vultures of the world liked to prey upon them.

Charlotte then stood up, and I thought she had meant to leave until she moved from the chair to me, crawling into my lap. My arms wrapped around her as I held her tightly against my chest.

“I’m so sorry you had to live that life. Those monsters… can’t even… I mean…”

She seemed to be at a loss for words. I clung to her like a buoy at sea. It was in that moment I realized she was my lifeline. Charlotte had been put into my life in Washington, D.C., for a reason. I thought karma was trying to complicate my life, but it had been destiny, instead. Fate had put her in my path because I had lost my soul over the years. Charlotte was the key to everything, and I still couldn’t believe that my earlier behavior hadn’t fucked things up beyond repair.

When I had walked into the dungeon at The Box, I hadn’t known it at the time, but that moment changed everything I knew. I’d been too blind to see why at the time, but we now had a second chance although I had nearly pissed that one away as well. This third time would be the charm. I would make sure of it.

I brushed Charlotte’s hair out of her face before burying my face against her neck. I nuzzled her soft, fragrant skin, then started to kiss my way up her throat and along her jaw. I couldn’t get enough of her. For an entire month, I’d only been able to dream about this moment, so there was so much I wanted to do. With my mouth, I trailed kisses across her cheeks and chin before finally capturing her lips in a gentle kiss.

Charlotte surrendered to me completely. Her soft moans filling the room like a beautiful melody as she let me take my fill. I could kiss her all night, but the way she was rubbing herself against me, I knew she wanted more. Hell, I did, too. We not only wanted it, but I knew that we needed it. This reconciliation wouldn’t be complete until we both could wash the memories of our past away so our future could start.

My hands slid under her ass, and in one fluid motion, I was on my feet with her in my arms. I dropped her onto the bed and removed my shirt. She’d been wearing a thin sundress which came off just as easily. When she was sprawled across the mattress, clad in nothing but a lacy bra and panties, I rid myself of my pants and grabbed a condom.

“Take them off,” I instructed, nearly groaning as her bra joined her dress on the floor. Her dainty fingers slid beneath the waistband of her panties, but she didn’t try to lower them. Instead, she smiled innocently at me. With a growl, I grabbed the lace, then tore it from her.

I was on her in a flash, spreading her legs apart. I needed to bury myself balls deep inside of her scorching heat, so I could savor every second. That proved to be a task in itself. I tried, if for no other reason than to make thing better for her. Slowly, I entered her. Charlotte arched her hips toward me, and I grabbed them, before pinning them to the bed. Finally, I hit her back wall and paused.

“I’ve never felt with anyone what I feel when I’m with you, little sub,” I told her as I slowly withdrew. Plunging back inside Charlotte, I kept my eyes on hers. “The things you do to me…”

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