Page 56 of Hawke

Faced with the prospect of having to take the stairs in my heels, I almost returned to the entryway but remembered I would need to walk by Hawke’s room again. I had no idea what he was doing, or if he was even still there, but if I had to make a guess, I’d say he was probably kicked back in the chair with his feet up toasting to his complete and utter freedom. He’d never have to be bothered with me again.

“Your life will be so damned perfect while mine’s in shambles.”

No, I couldn’t allow Hawke to see that I hadn’t even left the hotel yet. While the likelihood of him seeing me was low, I decided not to even test my luck since lately it had been shit, for a better word. Resigned to having to walk down about twelve flights of stairs, I took the first one. With each one I took thereafter, my heart ached for what could’ve been if Hawke hadn’t been so damned stubborn.

I’ll stay away from you.

That vow was one I intended to keep. I cleared the next step, and then the few after, each one becoming a little easier to take. Hawke wouldn’t have to concern himself with me, nor would he need to keep subjecting himself to sex with me. I knew there was a spark, but he was unwilling to even acknowledge the possibility, so I would give him what he wanted. If he changed his mind and wanted to know where I was, he’d only have to follow the broken pieces of my heart that’d lead him to me.

I finally made it out of the hotel and stood near the building for a minute as I debated whether or not to call another Uber. I really only wanted to get the hell away from Hawke and since my place wasn’t too far down the road, I decided I would just walk home. Determined to do exactly that, I cursed with the next few steps. My heels were getting quite the workout tonight. Maybe it’d have its advantage, though. My feet would be throbbing so much by the time I made it there that I might be able to forget, or at least ignore, the heaviness in my chest.

There was a definite chill in the air and I shivered. Night was settling in and it was only getting darker. Since I’d decided to walk instead of waiting for an Uber, I took a final glance up at the hotel before I headed home. The first step was always the hardest one, I’d heard, and with that in mind, I kept walking, hoping the next few would get easier. But they didn’t.

I felt an undeniable pull back to Hawke, but I ignored it the same way he had ignored me when I’d told him that I loved him. He wanted to say there was nothing but bad sex between us, but I knew differently. I’d heard his words as he caressed my face. He had the capacity to love, but I was evidently not worth the effort.

“Asshole,” I swore under my breath. The wind gusted a few more times, causing me to pick up the speed of my steps.

I should’ve waited for an Uber after all, but I had been in too big of a hurry to get away from Hawke. Just the thought of his name made me want to swear more. When I got home, I would run a bath, drink a half bottle of wine, and spend the rest of the night cursing his name. It sounded like as good of a plan as any, especially the part that involved drowning my sorrows with alcohol.

With the promise of some sort of relief from my emotional state, I started to walk faster. Click, clack. Click, clack. At first all I heard was the sound of my high heels on the pavement until something else caught my attention. The noise was footsteps, but I knew from the dull, yet heavy, sound that they weren’t mine. I spun around quickly but saw nothing.

Am I fucking paranoid or what?

Shaking my head, I focused on the task at hand and started to walk again. The streets were getting darker by the second, which didn’t help my spooked mood. One foot in front of the other, I kept mentally reminding myself. I was less than five minutes away from my place, already seeing the illuminated outline of the building off in the distance.

As I continued to walk, however, I couldn’t shake the sense of dread building up inside me. Something was wrong. I could feel it. My pulse accelerated as fear began to take over. I took another step and nearly pitched forward. Looking to see what caused my almost fall, I could only shake my head.

“Seriously?” I asked no one in particular. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

The heels to one of my shoes had snapped. Besides realizing I had just broken one of my favorite pairs, I would now have to finish the rest of the walk barefoot. I scowled before taking them off. The concrete below the soles of my feet was cold, so I started to pick up my pace. I wasn’t the only one, though.

The sound of footsteps returned, growing louder as whoever it was came closer. I was then reminded of what I saw on the news. I might’ve just been paranoid at this point. There was a better chance of turning to see Hawke behind me than some crazed lunatic who got his rocks off hurting women. I might’ve laughed until I realized how much that sounded a lot like the man whose room I had just left. I ignored that, and the fear kept me moving.

I didn’t bother turning around. I kept my legs moving despite the pain slowly building in them. One more block. I didn’t even look, racing across the intersection. Thankfully it was so dark outside or else I probably would’ve been hit by a passing car. These doomsday scenarios kept popping into my head, making it hard to focus on the simple things like breathing. For one who ran half marathons just a few years earlier, I was nearly out of breath by the time I crossed the final street. All that separated me from safety was the creepy alley on the side of my building.

I intended to make a sprint across it, especially when someone’s shadow combined with mine. About to scream, the sound was muffled by the gloved hand now pressed to my mouth. I tried fighting off whoever it was, but then I noticed something familiar about the aftershave worn by whoever this was.

I stopped struggling, and once I did, the hand moved away. Spinning around, I sighed deeply in relief. “You nearly scared the hell out of me, Austin.”

“You shouldn’t be out here alone at this time of night, Charlotte,” he told me.

I nodded. “Yes. You’re right. I just…” My voice drifted off as I thought about how much to say.

I definitely didn’t plan to go into any details about Hawke and what transpired between us. Ayden had already told me to steer clear of him once before. It’d been easier said than done because like a moth, I was constantly drawn to his flame over and over again. This time, however, I was determined to make sure it was the last time. There were only so many times that someone could get burned. Tonight had been that tipping point.

“Then why are you?” he asked, something in his voice not sounding right.

I tried to think about the few times I had seen him before. They were all with my brother and Ayden. In fact, he was the latter’s partner. I should’ve felt safe with him, but something was definitely wrong. The hairs on my arms were standing on end.

“I was visiting a friend who doesn’t live that far away. I should’ve just taken an Uber.”

“Your friend lives in a hotel?” he asked.

How in the hell do you know where I’ve been?

I wet my bottom lip and realized he must’ve seen me leave Hawke’s place. If this information got back to my brothers or family friends, they’d be so disappointed. Inwardly, I groaned as I anticipated the third degree lectures I would get from them. I was about to respond until his next words made my blood go cold.

“You do know there’s a killer on the loose targeting women like you?”

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