Page 21 of Hawke

Ihad been surprised when Hawke disappeared from his stoop at the door. A glimmer of hope filled me in thinking he’d ventured into the crowd to find me, so I had waited, but he was nowhere to be found. I had scanned the entire damn room, and while being surprised at a few familiar faces in the crowd, none of those people had been the one I was searching for.

“Go find him,” Emery had told me when she’d caught me moping.

At first, I went to argue against it, but then I decided to just take my best friend’s advice. I did another search of the main space. There were hundreds of people, and even though most were in disguise, hiding behind elaborate masks, I knew that none of them were him. He was of equal height and build to many of those men, but only he could make my heart skip a beat.

I then wondered if he had ditched the whole thing. He had been quite nauseated when I had gone through all the final plans with him, and I knew this type of event wasn’t his scene. It was why I was actually surprised he wanted to throw a party. I didn’t question him then, but maybe he had realized what I had already known.

Once that thought entered my mind, I dismissed it. I doubted he’d left since it was his party, so I thought I would take a stab in the dark and see if he was in his office. I’d gotten halfway down the hall when his voice sliced through the silence like a whip. My body froze, and every cell came alive. I jumped on reflex, then smiled as I turned.

“Nobody wasn’t there,” I murmured, remembering my description of him to Emery.

In my defense, I’d told my friend he was none other than the Dominant I was hung up on. It really hadn’t taken much for me to confess some of the more sordid parts to Em. While our history was short, it was poignant, especially when I kept reminding myself that tonight could be the last time I ever laid eyes on him. My bestie didn’t give me slack, or try to talk me out of anything. In fact, she encouraged me.

I glanced up at him, and Hawke didn’t seem amused with my response seconds earlier. Something was wrong. His eyes were dark as coal, but there was a wildness to them. He couldn’t hold my gaze, and while it’d normally be because he was busy looking at other parts of me, I saw where his eyes were fixed, and it was the damn wall.

“Trying to figure you out is as futile as me trying to run through one,” I remarked, finally drawing his attention back to me.

“What the hell are you talking about?” His voice was laced with irritation and bespoke more than his current stormy expression did.

“The wall. Running through one. “ His lips flattened even more. “At the door earlier, I… ahh… I called you…” I stopped, unsure if he’d even been paying me attention then.

A sharp ache in my chest formed as his indifference twisted my heart into knots. I kept doing this to myself. I didn’t know how many mortifying attempts it’d take before I caught a clue. There was no telling what he thought. A tear sprang to my eye at the realization he likely felt for me what I was just now starting to envision.

I needed to have some self-respect, so clearing my throat, I tried to keep my voice even to hide the pain quickly filling me. “Everything was a blur when I first walked into Syn tonight. I wasn’t thinking clearly, and I didn’t want to have to explain who you were to Emery.”

His gaze flitted over to me, and I held my breath for a few seconds. “What is there to explain, Miss Maxwell? I hired you for a service, which is just about complete.”

Of course, I was simply a party planner. I felt the knot growing tighter in my chest. Hawke was fine trying to pretend there was nothing between us, but I knew better, and the way his eyes couldn’t stay focused on me, I suspected he knew it, too.

“Is that all I am to you, Hawke?” I moved toward him. With each step closer, he shifted on his feet nervously. “Just a party planner?”

His chest heaved once or twice before he exhaled in what I assumed to be frustration. I knew he wanted me to get upset and leave so he could deny the flames currently crackling between us. I was tired of this dance we seemed to perfect over the last several weeks. Ever since that night at the restaurant when he’d followed me to the bathroom and let his jealousy show between the cracks, he’d kept his distance from me.

I wanted to know once and for all what I’d been denied back in Washington, D.C., I suspected he felt something between us at the time, too. When we’d finally remembered one another, he’d been flashing from hot to cold more than a faucet.

With time running out for me to confirm my suspicions, I advanced closer. Hawke took a step back, but I closed the distance off that he’d hoped to gain. From everything I knew about the lifestyle and proper submissive behavior, I chose to disregard it all, and reached out for him.

Maybe he just wanted to see how far I would take it, or else he’d been that shocked by my action, but I’d take it either way. I ran one hand up his chest. His shirt was slightly damp, but my hand moved higher. When I placed my palm over his heart, Hawke’s hand covered mine.

“I don’t know what you’re hoping to accomplish here tonight, Miss Maxwell, but—”

I finally seized the moment, rising on to my toes so I could stand face-to-face with him. Before he could finish warning me away, I fused my lips to his. Hawke had one of my hands pressed to his chest, so I used the other to wrap around his neck.

Hawke didn’t immediately break off the kiss, which I took as a promising sign. While I had been the aggressor in the beginning, I was content to concede control to him, which I did. His tongue delved inside, pushing against the roof of my mouth before drawing mine into his mouth.

My own pulse sky-rocketed as the kiss deepened more. Somewhere deep in my subconscious, I was sighing out in relief, but I made sure to keep that inward. I didn’t dare do anything more than silently respond to him.

His raspy groan broke through the haze, and I almost whimpered when his hands dropped to my hips. Half expecting him to push me away as he’d been doing, I was surprised when he spun me around, then pinned me against the brick wall instead.

I was almost thankful he did because my head was still spinning, especially as he kept me depleted of oxygen when he continued to kiss me hard. My knees wobbled, practically knocking together, but I stayed in the moment. It was hard to believe I was so close to getting what I had dreamed about for an entire year. Hawke perfected the Jekyll and Hyde act, however, so I feared doing anything that would make him stop.

I arched my chest against his and didn’t even notice he’d raised one of my arms. It wasn’t until the cold metal clamped down around my wrist that I even realized what he’d done. He stepped back, but before I could even form the words, he had my other hand in the other cuff. Restrained once again in front of him, my breathing grew jagged.

“W-what are you going to do to me?” I asked, stammering slightly as I did.

For the first time in weeks, Hawke smirked, but didn’t immediately answer me. Damn, he was so hot when actually smiling even though I had no idea what he was thinking. Perhaps it’d been the unknown, but I pleaded to him using nothing more than my eyes. A frisson of aroused fear shot through me. His intense ones were still dark as night, and the lazy way they moved down my body had me shivering.

I wasn’t scared of what he’d do to me, but rather what he wouldn’t. Even though I doubted he would literally leave me hanging again, the very memory of him doing it before refused to fully leave my mind. To tamp down those worries, I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out. When Hawke saw my lips move, his mouth was back on mine within seconds. Feeling as if my concern was definitely unwarranted, I returned my full focus to him.

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