Page 17 of The Coworker
“Go for it.”
I’ve stitched up many people during my tenure in urgent care. I’ve seen grown men cry, even with the lidocaine to numb the area. Shane winces slightly when the needle goes in, but nobody could say he’s not taking it like a man.
“So,” he says as I tie off the first stitch. “You’re not married, huh?”
My fingers freeze on the needle. “Excuseme?”
He starts to shrug but then thinks better of it with the needle still in his skin. “No ring. And I heard some of the guys talking about the cute new nurse practitioner who’s also single.”
“That’s really none of their business.”
“Hey, you were the one who must’ve told one of them you’re not married.”
He’s right, of course. The first thing Dorothy warned me was not to share any personal information, but I got careless. To be fair, a lot of these men don’t look like criminals. They just look like harmless old men.
“And you have a kid,” he adds.
Now I’m really going to be sick. I’msuchan idiot. What am I supposed to say when a patient asks me if I have a child?None of your damn business?Well, that probably is the right answer, but it’s hard not to talk about my son when I’m away from him the whole day. I’m learning this lesson the hard way.
“Anyway, congratulations,” Shane says. There’s no bitterness or anger in his voice, which is a relief. “How old is he?”
I cringe at this question. Like Tim, he’s not stupid. If I tell him I have a ten-year-old son, he will figure it out. But unlike Tim, he has no way of finding out the truth on his own. “He’s five.”
He flinches slightly as the needle passes through his skin again. “I always wanted kids. Guess that’s never going to happen.”
I don’t reply to that. I just quietly tie off the suture.
“I can’t believe you’re living out here again,” he comments. “I figured you would be gone for good. Except maybe to visit your parents.”
“My parents died in a car accident,” I blurt out. I shouldn’t have given him any more information, but this seems like the most innocuous thing I’ve told him. I want him to know that I’ve had other tragedies in the last decade that have not involved him. That what he did hasn’t defined my existence.
He frowns. “I’m so sorry, Brooke.”
“It’s okay,” I mutter. “We weren’t close.”
I can’t explain to him why my relationship with my parents fell apart. Partially, they were angry that I had defied them and dated Shane in the first place. That I had lied and gone to his house, which almost resulted in the end of my life. But what they were furious about—what they could never forgive me for—is that when I found out I was pregnant, I decided I wanted to keep it. I have no regrets about doing that, but my parents’ love for Josh was always reserved. Even when Josh was part of the family, they still made it clear that they thought I made a mistake. My son was a mistake and an embarrassment—the child of a monster.
And that’s what I couldn’t forgive them for. It’s the reason I eventually cut them out of my life
“My mother died a couple of years ago too,” Shane says.
I tie off another suture. “I’m sorry to hear that.”
I mean it. Shane was close with his mother—after his father took off, it was just the two of them. If she’s gone, that means he has nobody.
He holds my gaze for a moment. “She died believing that I had killed those people.”
My hand gripping the needle trembles, nearly missing his skin.But youdidkill those people.I want to say it, but it would be unprofessional. And there’s no point. Despite all the evidence, Shane would never own up to what he did that night.
But it doesn’t matter. Shane is guilty. I wastherethat night. If it were up to him, I would be dead right now.
I can never forget that. And I will never forgive him.
Chapter 9
ELEVEN YEARS EARLIER
The farmhouse where the Nelsons live is about a mile off the main road.
