Page 45 of Hotshot Mogul

He stroked my palm with his thumb. “Maria Rosa’s words. I didn’t understand them before, but I think I do, now.”

I pressed on, telling him all that was in my heart. “I was afraid to see your baby growing in another woman’s body, and afraid to face my grief. I didn’t want to stand in the way of you making family with her.” Deer turds. My English slipped. “A family. Livvie said Beth was with baby-daddy? I have not heard those words before.”

He laughed and lifted our hands to wipe the wetness off his face. “I’m glad you still sound a little bit like the way you did before.” He grew serious. “We can’t change the past, only live in the here and now. We need to get to know each other, as we are now. Go slow. ’Kay?”

I wanted to press my face into his neck, caress every inch of him, and feel him move inside me. I’d waited so long to come to him, so he could be a family with Beth and her baby, if he wanted that. And he wanted to go slow. Deer turds.

His phone pinged, then rang. He gritted his teeth and muttered an impressive string of profanities. We’d learned the words during the “here’s what not to say” chapter. “Fuck it.” He turned his phone off and bent his head, perhaps choosing his next words.

Bruce wanted to go slow. So, I shouldn’t live with him. My head hurt. My thoughts swirled. I could get a return ticket to Oakdale and hope Bruce would come back. The train rounded a bend to reveal Lake Michigan. Did he even notice the shimmering blue water?

Grenmann told me many people in this time were wholly unconnected with nature, and preferred constant stimulation from electronics. I could help Bruce get a balance between his work and the beautiful natural world, or what was left of it.

I glanced at his computer screen, then yanked it closer. It was a photo of a man wearing clothing worn by those from France who lived in the trading post at Fort St. Joseph. “My parents did some research for me,” Bruce explained. “I told Dad what you told me about our lives before. There’s a brand-new exhibit there about the fur trade in the Great Lakes region.”

I clicked through the photos on the site, the Milwaukee Public Museum. “Where is this place?”

“Milwaukee is about an hour and a half away by train. We could head up there and visit.”

I clicked through more photos, several of long boats. They were like the one Gen, her husband Joseph, Étienne, and I had traveled upon on the long waterway from the great sea. Would seeing more from that time fill me with nostalgia or paralyzing grief? Would the grief pull me in again?

“Anneliese?” Bruce’s face was etched in concern. He took the laptop out of her hands and closed it. “Are you okay?”

I ran away from him a year ago, afraid to confront the grief that ended my life in my human body. I was stronger now. Could I be strong enough? I wanted to try—and to be with Bruce in the here and now.

“Yes.” I said, squeezing his hands. “To the here and now. And I’d like to visit Milwaukee.” But going slow? I’d see about that.

CHAPTER NINETEEN

Bruce

“Brucey? Damn, I mean Bruce?” I had Mom on speaker phone.

“Hi, Mom.”

She launched into a long explanation of various Native American nations. The adjoining door to Anneliese’s room was open. She stood in the doorway. I gestured that she should come in. She glided toward me and sat on the bed, making it creak. Her hair was wet. She wore a white cloth robe with the hotel logo. I could smell her floral scented shampoo.

I’d gotten us separate rooms, but she sat inches away from me, naked under that damn robe. Anneliese stretched her back, so the robe gaped open. I could see her perfect little tits. I had been fighting a hard-on since she found me on the train. It sprang to full life.

“…Researchers at Western Michigan University,” Mom said. Shit, I missed what she said. “Hey, Mom, sorry. I missed that last part. I should have been recording this or taking notes. You did so much for me.”

“No worries, honey. I’ll send you the notes.”

“We’re actually in Milwaukee and heading to that museum.”

“We?” Mom shrieked. He took the phone off speaker. “Is Anneliese there with you?”

“Yeah.”

“She didn’t…?”

“No.”

“She’s with you right now?”

“Yup. Talk later, Mom. Love you.”

“Love you. Talk later, darling.”

---