Page 57 of Swamp Princess

Hefting my little bag, I slug into the trailer. Once inside, I can hear the snores of the beast in her room. I hope she gets so high, she keeps to herself most of break. Only that would be too lucky for me and I don’t seem to have any luck these days.

* * *

For the last three days all my mother has been doing is fucking and smoking. I have wanted to talk to her and see what else I can figure out about my father. Anything that would help me find him, but I honestly don’t even think she knows I am even here.

Tonight, I have been monitoring her closely and so far, the only thing she has done is drink. No guy has been here, and I haven’t seen her pick up her pipe. As night starts to fall over the sky and filter through the trailer, I can see the yellow kitchen lights as they reflect the sickness of my mothers skin.

I take a deep breath and meet her in the kitchen, sliding into a chair across from her. Her eyes raise to meet mine and they look tired and sad. Now is probably the best time to talk to her.

“Mom.” Saying mom feels like ash in my mouth, I don’t even consider her my mom, more of the incubator that made sure I survived the nine months. Her eyes drag slowly to meet mine and she sighs rather loudly like my existence is a bother.

“What do you want, Brinley?” Her tone is bored but I also hear the weariness laced through it.

“I want to talk,” I say to her, keeping my voice calm and level.

“About?”

“My brother and maybe my father.” There is no use beating around the bush. The direct approach seems to work for her.

“Why?”

“Because, mom, I think I deserve to know.”

Her eyes sear into mine, not leaving my face as she looks at me. She doesn’t say anything, making me antsy but I continue to sit in silence as her gaze rakes over me.

“Your father was my shining light.” Stunned, my eyes focus on her but I refuse to say anything in fear she clams up. “He was my first love, and I was his. We met in South Warren high school and were the picture of the perfect couple.”

I watch as she fidgets with her hands and her eyes cloud over like she is lost in her own thoughts. “Your father was from a family that while they lived in South Warren, they had money. It was only after I fell pregnant with your brother did I learn the harsh reality of who your father was.”

“Who was he?” I don’t know if it is an answer that I really want to know but I know it will help clear some things for me.

“Kove Mateo Mariano.” Her eyes meet mine and I know that name. I just can’t place it right now. “His family was against us being together from the very beginning, but because I bore him a son, they decided that for now, it would be okay. That is until Kove proposed, and I fell pregnant with you.”

“What happened?” I feel dread in the pit of my stomach and want to stop the conversation, but she continues anyway. I’m glad she does, I may never have a chance like this again.

“Of course, I told Kove yes. I loved him more than I loved breathing. He was the only air that I ever needed. His family immediately interfered and tried to break it up, until his father came up with a plan, one that they came up with right after I had you.”

The dread now feels like a rock in the bottom of my stomach. I know her answer may explain why she’s the person she is.

“They attacked me as I walked in. You were thrown from my arms and they…” She trails off for a moment before shaking her head. “Kove had gone home earlier from the hospital with your brother to put him down and to catch up on some sleep. They knew this, and I was in the right place at the wrong time. They…” Again, she trails off and this time, I see the tears slide down her face. “All night, it was horrific, and after I figured out that one was Kove’s father. He recorded bits and pieces of what they made me say and they sent it to Kove, and well, actions speak loudly, even if those actions are not in the right context.”

“What is my brother’s name?”

My mother looks at me quizzically like I should know this. “Kove Mateo Mariano the fourth.” Your father wanted to keep the name going like his father did.

Again, the name sounds familiar, but I can’t place it. “Are they around my father and brother, are they in warren?”

“It doesn’t matter.” My mother snaps. I watch her look around for her kitchen pipe and when she spots it, she smiles. I wish she smiled at me the way she looks at drugs.

“It does. Why didn’t my father keep me, or come see me?”

“Brinley, enough. I’m done talking about this.” I watch for a minute as she starts heating her stuff.

“Mom, please. Please, tell me.”

“No, Brinley, fuck off.” Her words are like a slap in the face. “Just let it die.There is nothing that can change now.”

“No, mom, please.” I reach for her, leaning in close to try and get her to look at me again. I need her eyes to meet mine, to see how desperate I am for the information she is finally giving me.

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