Page 74 of Riding the Waves

Music reached her and she followed it to the kitchen. Damian was oblivious to her presence and twirled around with Alice on his hip while the boys boogied around his legs. He lifted Marty’s arm for him to spin under, then did the same for Billy.

“Are early morning dance parties a regular thing around here?” Amy asked over the music.

Damian’s eyes twinkled as he hit her with a smile so dazzling it set butterflies whirling in her stomach.

“They might be,” he said, jiggling Alice and making her beam. Looking a little dizzy, she leaned into him, face-planting his chest and grabbing his T-shirt.

“How was your night?” Amy asked when Damian came to a stop in front of her.

“Easy. She woke at midnight for a bottle, then slept until seven. I don’t know what Leo complains about.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t tell him that.” She tickled Alice’s cheek while Damian instructed the boys to go upstairs and get dressed.

“Are you okay if I leave the boys with you while I drop Alice home?” he asked Amy.

“Of course.” It felt odd that he asked.

He held her gaze and she felt momentarily self-conscious in her skimpy pyjamas. But only until Damian leaned in and kissed her.

“I haven’t brushed my teeth yet,” she told him when he pulled away again.

“Yep. I noticed that.” He grinned mischievously and went to strap Alice into her car seat, which was waiting on the kitchen table.

Amy watched as he gently adjusted the straps and made sure she was snug.

“You’re so relaxed with her,” she said, standing close beside him. “It makes me sad that we were always so fraught when the boys were little. I feel as though I didn’t really get to enjoy the time.”

“Having two definitely made things hectic.” Damian placed a hand at the small of Amy’s back and she leaned into him. “Marty was also a very demanding baby.”

“Maybe if I’d have been more chilled, he would have been too.”

“It’s difficult to be chilled when you haven’t slept properly in months.”

“True,” she conceded. “The money issues didn’t help my stress levels either. I think if we’d been financially secure, everything would have been different.” She realised immediately that she’d said the wrong thing. The way Damian tensed was further evidence of that. “I didn’t mean that as a dig at you,” she said. “We just weren’t ready to have kids. It was too much too soon.” As she babbled away, she only felt she was digging the hole deeper. “Sorry,” she said again.

“No. You’re right. If we hadn’t had money worries everything would have been easier.” He inhaled deeply and went to lift the car seat, but Amy placed a hand on his arm to stop him.

“Everything’s different now. We’re at completely different places in our lives ... we can figure out a way to be together, can’t we?”

“I want to.” He swallowed hard and pressed his forehead to hers. “But I’m concerned things aren’t that straightforward.”

“I know.” She smiled gently. “You’re here and we’re in Oxford, but I was thinking we could start with visiting each other. We can take it slow and see how things go.”

He sucked in his bottom lip and the uncertainty in his eyes put her on edge.

“There’s some stuff I haven’t told you,” he said quietly. “I need to tell you everything before we make plans.”

“What?” she asked, her heart galloping.

“It’s kind of a long story.” He placed a hand on Alice’s tummy. “Let me drop her back to Leo, then we can talk.”

“It sounds as though you’re just avoiding talking to me,” she said nervously.

“I’m not.” He picked up Alice in the car seat. “I’ll be back soon and I’ll tell you everything. I promise.” He kissed her forehead and left her with a feeling of dread.

* * *

As she showered, Amy’s mind ran through the possibilities of what Damian wanted to tell her and it always came back to the same thing. There was another woman in his life. The excuses for having the bed in the van were too convenient, and she’d never completely believed that he just enjoyed sleeping there.

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