Page 57 of Riding the Waves

“There was this one evening,” she said, thinking back on it. “There wasn’t anything out of the ordinary about it. We’d put the kids to bed and sat down in front of the TV. It was one of those mini crime series. Anthony was really into it. I wasn’t paying attention.” Just like so many other evenings in their married life, she’d sat in front of the TV and registered absolutely nothing. “I forgot to even pretend to watch and was looking at the flames in the fireplace instead.” She paused, drawing patterns on Damian’s chest. “Anthony asked me what I was thinking about. I’m not sure why I told him the truth. Maybe because I felt as though he knew anyway.”

Damian pressed a gentle kiss to the top of her head. “What did you say?”

“That I was thinking about you.” She shifted to look at him. “I told him I was wondering what my life would be like if I’d ended up with you and not him. That I never really stopped wondering about that.”

Damian’s lips parted as though he was about to speak, but when no words came out, Amy settled her head on his chest again, telling herself his lack of response meant absolutely nothing. It was quite a bombshell to drop on him, so it was natural that he’d need time to process it. His fingers trailed through her hair, catching on her ear. His heart thudded beneath her and she let herself inhale the heady scent that was all him.

Soon, her brain clicked into gear and she cursed loudly as she shot up, breaking the moment.

“What’s wrong?” Damian asked.

“What time is it?” She pressed the screen of his phone to check, then almost fell out of the bed in her haste. “I’m supposed to be meeting Anthony. He’s coming to my place before he leaves. So we can talk properly. He’s also going to come and watch the boys surf.”

“I forgot about that.”

“It’s going to be awkward, isn’t it?” She scrabbled around for her clothes and almost fell over trying to get her jeans on in the confined space.

Damian moved to the end of the bed, reaching around her legs to grab his own clothes from the floor. “Yep. I reckon hanging out with the guy whose wife I just slept with is going to be exceptionally awkward.”

“That sounds way worse than it is.”

“Does it? I think it sounds bad because it is bad.”

“We’re separated. Soon we’ll be divorced.”

“Are you sure about that?” He pushed his arms into his T-shirt and tugged it into place. “How do you know he’s not coming over this morning to beg you to get back with him?”

Amy shook her head. “Did you hear my story about telling him I’d spent our entire marriage thinking about another man? Do you really think he still wants to be with me?”

“I have no idea.” The nip of irritation to his voice wasn’t subtle.

“We’re discussing the divorce,” she said firmly. “Even if he wanted to get back together – which I really don’t think he does – I don’t want to.”

Damian avoided eye contact until Amy sank onto his lap and forced him to engage with her.

“I don’t want to be with Anthony.” She didn’t know what the future held for her and Damian, but she refused to spend any more time in a relationship she didn’t want to be in. She closed her eyes and swept her lips over Damian’s. “I have to go, but I’ll see you later.”

“Okay.” He pressed his lips to hers one last time and released her.

CHAPTER 29

Anthony was standing on the doorstep when Amy pulled up, his phone in his hand as he stepped from the path to peer in the front window before noticing the car pulling up.

“Sorry,” Amy said, conscious of the fact that she was wearing yesterday’s clothes and no doubt looked like someone who’d spent most of the night having sex rather than sleeping.

“I tried calling you.” His eyes roamed over her, but the only trace of judgement was a twitch of his eyebrow.

“Sorry,” she said again, bustling to get in the door without giving him an opportunity to get too close. She needed to brush her teeth and have a shower.

“It’s fine.” He stepped inside behind her and she headed straight for the bedroom.

“Make yourself at home. I’ll be five minutes.” Not even brave enough to look at him, she fled into her room feeling absolutely wretched.

Being with Damian had felt so wonderful, but now all she could think about was his comment about her being married. It wasn’t as though she’d forgotten, it just hadn’t seemed relevant. She didn’t feel married. But faced with Anthony, it all felt different. Guilt flooded her. No matter how she felt, they were still legally married.

As though she hadn’t hurt the poor man enough, she’d now slept with her ex while she was still married to him.

“Oh, good,” she said on a sigh when she came back into the kitchen after the quickest shower ever. “You found coffee.”

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