Page 48 of Riding the Waves

“Obviously you can say no if it’s not okay for you.”

“Right.” What did that mean? Did she want him to say no? Expect him to? Anthony had been raising his kids for the vast majority of their lives … telling him he couldn’t see them would be a pretty pathetic move. “When did he want to come?”

“Saturday. He’ll be in Bristol so he could drive down. I feel kind of bad … he misses them.”

“Yeah.” He swallowed his emotions, rubbing circles on Alice’s stomach to soothe himself as much as her. “It’s fine with me. So he’ll pick them up and take them out? Just for the day?” What he really wanted to know was if it was just the boys he was taking. Or was Amy going too, like some cosy family day out?

“Yes. Just for the day.”

That was something, at least. He didn’t have to think about him staying over with Amy. The thought made his stomach turn, which was fairly absurd considering he was Amy’s husband and had been sharing a house and a life and a bed with her for years.

“Sorry,” she said. “I feel weird about it … are you sure it’s okay with you?”

He bit down on his lip so hard it was painful. There wasn’t really much else he could say other than it was okay. “It’s fine. The boys will love it.”

“Yeah.” Amy paused. “Thank you. You always make this stuff easy. I know it’s not the easiest of situations.”

“If the kids are happy, I’m happy,” he said brightly, wondering if his lie sounded at all believable.

“I’ll confirm it with Anthony and see what time he’ll arrive. I guess he’ll just pick them up from your place, if that’s all right?”

“Fine by me. Just let me know what time.” Desperately, he wanted to get off the phone. “I’ll talk to you soon, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

He was about to hang up when she spoke again.

“When will I see you this week? The boys, I mean.”

He closed his eyes briefly. That had completely slipped his mind. “Whenever you want,” he said.

“Wednesday?”

“Okay.” His voice came out an odd squeak. “I’ll make dinner.”

And maybe he’d disappear off to Leo’s house again, like he’d done the other time. Or maybe there was no point in keeping his distance. He was too far gone, anyway. He was going to get his heart crushed all over again, and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

CHAPTER 23

Trying to get the boys to enter the house quietly was pretty much impossible. Leo stirred on the couch as they ran inside, discarding their sandals in the hallway and pounding the stairs to go and play in their room.

“I tried to keep them out as long as possible,” Damian said, passing Alice to Leo as he sat up on the couch. “She drank a bottle, had a nappy change and was completely enthralled by the boys pulling faces at her. I’ll send you the videos of her laughing at them. It’s adorable.”

“Thank you.” Leo kissed Alice’s head, then checked his watch. “I slept for ages.”

“Are you doing okay?” Damian asked him seriously, lowering himself into the armchair.

“It’s bloody hard,” he said. “I’m supposed to go back to work soon and I don’t know how I’m going to juggle that. They’ve said I can work from home, but it’s not realistic that I’ll get any work done with Alice with me.”

“I thought you were going to get a nursery place.”

“I have a place for her. When I booked her in, six months seemed like a long time away. I thought I’d be ready to hand her over to someone else, but I’m absolutely not.”

“What are your options? Can you take more time off?”

“Maybe a little, but not indefinitely. My neighbour offered to look after Alice but I’m not sure … it seems like a big ask.”

“It would be if you were asking. If she’s offering it’s very different.”

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