Page 59 of Riding the Waves

“See what?”

“That you’re not the only one at fault for the state of our marriage.”

Tears sprung to her eyes. “I’ve been in love with Damian for the entire time you and I were married.” She hoped the harsh reality might raise a sliver of anger in him but he only smiled sadly.

“I know. I knew all along and I married you anyway. I even pushed you to get married quickly because I knew that if we waited you’d realise you were with the wrong person.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I’ve been in love with you for so long,” he told her slowly. “I thought you’d fall in love with me later. Sometimes I thought maybe you did love me.”

“I did,” she jumped in, swiping a tear from the corner of her eye. “I just wasn’t in love with you.”

“There were a few times when I was sure you were going to pack your things and leave. Usually when we’d dropped the boys off with Damian or picked them up.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

“Don’t be. I always felt bad for taking advantage of the situation. When we started seeing each other you were so grateful for anything I did to help you. I took advantage of that.”

As much as she tried not to cry, the tears came anyway, and the next thing she knew Anthony had his arms around her and she cried quietly into his shoulder.

“What a mess,” she finally said, sniffing as she wiped at her cheeks.

“It wasn’t all bad,” Anthony said, lowering himself into the chair beside her. “The boys were always happy, even if we were only ever pretending.”

“True.” Her children’s happiness had been her motivation all along. She’d wanted the best for them and had happily sacrificed her own happiness for that. “I need to eat,” she said, her stomach suddenly complaining and reminding her how long it was since she’d last eaten. “Do you want some toast? It will probably be an hour before Damian and the boys are at the beach.”

He accepted happily and they were munching on buttery toast when he spoke again.

“There’s something else I wanted to mention.” He licked a drip of melted butter from his thumb and seemed to debate whether to go on. “I’m seeing someone,” he said eventually.

A surge of emotions pulsed through Amy: shock, disbelief, anger … even a touch of jealousy. “Who?” she asked.

“Her name is Christina. We work together … not really together … different departments, but I met her through work.”

“How long have you been seeing her for?”

He placed his slice of toast back on his plate. “A little while.”

Amy pressed her lips tightly together. “When we were still together?” The idea of it shouldn’t have felt like such a betrayal, considering she’d spent their entire marriage wishing she was with someone else. Having an affair in your head was very different to having one in real life though.

“No.” He didn’t sound convincing as he stared at his plate. “We went out for coffee a couple of times. Lunch once or twice. It was all very innocent.”

“Not that innocent or you’d have told me.”

“True.” Irritation flared in his eyes. “But at that point you were so distant it was like living with a zombie.” He inhaled deeply. “Sorry, that wasn’t fair.”

She had a feeling it was probably very fair. In the months before they separated she’d definitely shut down. If the kids weren’t around she barely gave Anthony the time of day.

“Is it serious?” she asked. “With Christina?”

He nodded. “We were in Bristol so I could meet her parents.”

“She’s here with you? At the hotel?”

“Yes. I’d like Marty and Billy to meet her. Not right now, but sometime soon.”

“Right.” Amy chewed on the inside of her cheek, unsure what to say.

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