Page 23 of Sinful Desires

“If you do this…we’re over. For good.”

My head snapped over in her direction. When I realized she wasn’t joking, a scoff flew past my lips. This was ridiculous. When we started our little arrangement, I warned her that sex was all it would be. That my feelings wouldn’t change.

It wasn’t that I didn’t want to fall in love, or to give someone my all, I just simply couldn’t. My heart didn’t work like it was supposed to, but I guess that was my family’s fault.

Despite not being able to care for her like she wanted—like she deserved—the guys were my family now. If they needed me, that’s where I’d be. Always. Hell, even if I had managed to love her, they’d still come first. They took me in when I was at my lowest. I had no one. I owed them my fucking life.

“You’re asking me to choose between you and them?” I questioned, inclining my head toward Hunter for emphasis.

She shrugged, too stubborn for her own good. “If that’s what it takes for you to open your eyes.” Her hand swiped across her cheek as she disposed of a stray tear.

“Fine.”

She straightened her back, hope glimmering in her eyes. Madison and I had been through a lot within the last year. She was someone I’d grown very comfortable with. Knowing that she’d always be here, no matter what I did, gave me a sense of stability.

Maybe that meant I was a fool. Because if right now was any indication, everyone would always find a reason to leave eventually.

Swallowing down my panic, I nodded once. “We’re over then,” I drawled. My eyebrows creased as those words seeped in. Her lips popped open as if she couldn’t believe what she was hearing. I, however, was hurting for entirely different reasons. Instead of giving her any kind of reaction, I just motioned toward the door.

Slowly, she rose to her feet and tucked a stray strand of honey, blonde hair behind her ear before scooping up her heels. She didn’t bother to put them on as she strode toward the door, sparing me one last look over her shoulder. She furrowed her eyebrows as if she had so many other things she wanted to say but didn’t know how to. So instead, she just left.

The room went deathly silent once she was gone, and a loaded sigh left me. Why did she have to be so complicated?

“Damn,” Hunter said, tearing through the tension.

I shrugged it off, ignoring the weight on my chest. The fact that I’d have no one to fall back on when I needed it struck a nerve. But she made her decision. She had to have known it wouldn’t end well.

Whenever Hunter and Jessica started dating, Madison would come around a lot because she was friends with Jess. At first, I wasn’t interested, thinking she wouldn’t be much different than her friend. While I wasn’t wrong, one drunken night I found myself inside her and as time went on, she became hard to shake.

It was the perfect arrangement. She was around all the time, and we’d become friends. Having only slept together once at that point. So, I offered her a proposal: Sex. No strings. And we carry on exactly as we were. As friends. No emotional baggage.

I wasn’t sure when it all went to shit, and she let her emotions get in the way. After a while of everything going perfectly, she started getting clingier than usual and then the jealousy started. Eventually, it felt like I’d been forced into a relationship, and it wasn’t fun anymore, so I started sleeping with other girls.

“You ready?” Hunter pushed, an apologetic look plastered across his face, causing my anger to flare.

“Don’t look at me like that,” I snapped.

“Like what?”

“Like I’m a wounded animal. I’m fine. She was just a piece of ass.”

He snorted in amusement as if he didn’t believe me, which just made me more frustrated. “Whatever you say,” he retorted, leading the way to my bedroom door. I didn’t care whether he believed me or not. My feelings were complicated about everything. Nothing was black and white. It was all muddled, and impossible to differentiate between.

I couldn’t expect him to understand. He knew exactly what he liked and what he didn’t. While he made some stupid choices, at least he knew they were stupid. He just did them anyway.

When we made it outside, the cool air immediately bit at my exposed skin, eliciting a shiver from my body. Goosebumps prickled along my arms despite being protected by my hoodie.

I didn’t bother asking where we were going, because now that we were walking in the direction of the woods, it made more sense to me now.

Between the academy and the woods was the soccer field. Since school hours had ended, the field was empty, and we were safe from wandering eyes. The grass was an abnormal green color, leading me to believe that it was either fake, or painted. Considering that the color hadn’t changed since I moved here, I’d go with the former.

As we ventured further, entering the woods, nature surrounded us. There was nothing but trees for miles, leaving us completely secluded. Toward the end of the woods sat a pond that we’d only been to a handful of times. We hated walking that far, but sometimes it was necessary.

My gaze snagged on the old, worn-down cellar we claimed a while back. Upon discovering that it was soundproof, this solidified our reasoning for wanting to claim it as our own. It was easy to miss if you were just strolling by, due to the fact that it was caked in mud and surrounded by bushes.

It didn’t take long for us to reach the others. Jax and Rocky were already there, ready to make the deal with us.

As we approached, twigs and leaves crunched beneath our shoes, causing them all to glance our way simultaneously. Foster’s eyes narrowed, his upper lip curling back in anger.

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