Page 94 of Desire

Falling in beside me, he walks with me. “Silla isn’t feeling well. Apparently after we all went to bed, the recruits scrubbed the facility from top to bottom in a combination of nervous energy and fear. Holton, asshole that he is, told Silla’s hall that they were to wash their bedding and clothes that his unit soiled while they were checking rooms.” He sighs.

“Oh fuck,” I mutter.

“So no one slept!” Gray exclaims, shaking his head. “Notice how clean this place fucking is? Silla is shaky, tired, and has a migraine. She’s also getting her period, and apparently is a mess. We were all too busy to check on her, and I didn’t grab her for lunch, so she skipped it. When I went to convince her to eat without me, Silla just seemed really sad and out of it. The Trio is taking care of her now, and have made it clear we both fucked up.”

“Me? I’ve been on the phone or talking to people all day,” I groan. “Shit, I don’t think I’ve slept without her in weeks either, and I kept expecting her to slip into my room. I can see where Silla would feel as if we forgot about her today. I need to see her… it’s so weird that the Trio are taking care of her though.”

“I think seeing Silla less than her usual self made them feel something,” Gray murmurs. “She’s going to be having some interesting conversations I think when she comes out of this. Oh… we need to go see Patricia before we go to Silla’s room, though.”

“Because of her headaches? If Sidney has been to see our Little Hacker, whatever he can whip up will be better than Patrica’s medication,” I remind him.

“Yeah, but this headache came out of fucking nowhere. I don’t want anything else to fall through the cracks. I want Patricia to run a full blood panel to make sure something else isn’t wrong with her,” Gray insists, knocking on the infirmary door.

“Come in,” Patricia’s voice says, and she sounds tired as well.

Opening the door, Gray looks a bit sheepish to be bothering her.

“How is Silla?” she asks, eyes widening, waving us in.

“What do you mean?” I ask. “I just found out she wasn’t feeling well. I got slammed with calls and shit, and just clawed my way out of my office.”

“You didn’t eat today, then?” Grayson asks, realizing another reason why I’m acting like a bear.

“No. I didn’t, can you tell?” I chuckle.

Patricia pulls out a granola bar from her desk, tossing it to me. “Amateur,” she snickers. “Close the door, Andrya’s been keeping me updated on how she is. Which, may I say, is really odd.”

Rolling my eyes, I close the door behind me, ripping open the wrapper on the bar. “Really fucking weird,” I agree.

“Andrya checked on Silla after I did around lunch time, and has been helicoptering between her and Sidney,” Gray says with a shrug.

“There's a very good reason for it,” Patricia growls, mistaking his tone for levity. “Apparently the girl is in the fetal position in severe pain. If you wish to see how uncomfortable cramps can be, I’m sure I can make that happen.”

“No!” Grayson says, shaking his head. “There’s nothing dramatic about Silla at all. The Trio pretty much threw me out of her room. I wanted to know if you thought running blood work may be necessary before I go check on her.”

“Oh,” Patricia says, putting down the electrodes she had picked up as she was winding herself up. Silla has many protectors in the camp, and I’m glad for it. “I actually was just thinking about that. I want to ask her if her cramps are always this bad, because if they aren’t, I’m worried the birth control is adversely affecting her. If that’s the case, I’ll need to put her on something else that will take longer to become effective.”

As an asset to Section B where condoms are rarely used, this could be very bad.

“Understood,” Grayson grunts, rubbing his eyes tiredly. “The Queen wants us to push out more fully trained recruits, which means that Ayden is under pressure to graduate Section B assets. Unfortunately, he can’t release anyone, because their program has just started. The increased monitoring means those three will be ramping up their instruction.”

“More practical instruction,” Patricia spits out, which is code for sex. Oh yeah, this is going to be a problem. “The soonest I can get her onto a new form of birth control is after her period is over, and then it’ll take a week to fully begin. Very rarely, women don’t react well to the hormones in birth control, and if that’s the case she won’t be able to use it. I’ll need to talk to her about female condoms which are tiny now, easy to insert, and no one will notice.”

“Is she just supposed to wear that at all times?” I scoff. “Isn’t there a better option?”

“Other options, though I don’t know if they’re better. I need to speak to her about sterilization, though,” Patricia says, paling at the thought.

“No,” I croak out. Silla and I have barely scratched the surface of our relationship, but that thought makes me sick. “Talk to her, but fuck, that’s a truly shitty option.”

“What about Sidney?” Gray asks. “Do you think he may have another option that’s not hormone-based? I believe he’s fairly invested in Silla’s well-being. It may be worth a shot. I don’t want to offer her an option with so many repercussions if there’s something else she can try.”

Grayson is trying to protect Silla, even as he processes all of the information available. It’s making Patricia see him as callous, but as crazy as he is about our girl, he is still very data oriented. I typically am as well, but all bets are off when it comes to her.

“Warden, this idea has merit,” the nurse murmurs with a nod. “Now go away before you ruin it by saying something dumb.”

Gray snorts out a laugh, shaking his head. Taking our leave, we weave through those walking to the dining hall for dinner.

Raising my hand to knock on the door, Grayson shakes his head, grabbing my hand. “If she’s asleep, I don’t want to wake her,” he murmurs. “You don’t understand how much pain she’s been in. I came to check on her while she was sleeping, and I swear there were tears tracked down her face. It fucking kills me to see her like that. To top things off with the fact that Sidney missed his daily time outside with her, I missed lunch, and she didn’t spend the night with you, I think she’s feeling a little abandoned.”

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